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Bollocks

FFVII for NGP rumour looks suspiciously like complete bollocks

What is apparently an email from Square Enix to potential translators for an NGP remake of Final Fantasy VII is doing the rounds. Read it and weep.

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Bollocks headlines

  • Report: Nintendo not exhibiting at CES, says CEA

    PCWorld’s reporting that the CEA has issued a second press release on the subject of Nintendo exhibiting at CES in the New Year. Upshot: it isn’t.

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  • Square announcement will "change Japanese history"

    We’ve been around the block. We’re no strangers to hyperbole. But this is something quite special.

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  • Nintendo trademarks Cii, Bii, Oii and Yii

    Even awesomer. Not content with trademarking “Zii,” Nintendo’s gone the whole hog and grabbed Cii, Bii, Oii and Yii. What’s left to say? Nothing. So we won’t. Via Engadget and GoNintendo.

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  • StarCraft II beta invites are bollocks, says Blizzard

    Remember the story knocking about over the weekend about Blizzard sending out StarCraft II invites? It’s not true. “This is FAKE, and is Photoshopped,” said a Blizzard rep on the official forums. “We will let you know when beta starts and when invites go out- still some waiting to do unfortunately.” So there you are. […]

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  • BioShock 2 forum rumours are "not true," says 2K

    2K’s put a stop on BioShock 2 rumours dragged of its own forums today, saying they’re simply wrong. “Please do not believe everything you read on the internet,” said a community manager. “This rumor circulating is not true. Grab the Game Informer magazine. It’s shipped out and should be to subscribers and on store shelves […]

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  • White Knight Story not dated by Famitsu

    We’ll put this down to the enthusiasm of youth. We ran a story yesterday, crediting this PS3F piece, saying Famitsu had confirmed Level-5′s White Knight Story as a December 11 release in Japan. Long story short – it didn’t. Read this Kotaku piece. And that’s that.

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  • Square: FF Versus XIII on hold reports "are false"

    Square Enix has confirmed that yesterday’s story claiming Final Fantasy Versus XIII was on hold “are false”. The company’s issued an official statement on the matter. “Reports that development for Final Fantasy Versus XIII is on hold are false,” the note reads. “The truth of the situation is that when free, some staff from the […]

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  • UK employees should play online at work, says PopCap

    According to a report put together by Peggle publisher PopCap, banning internet use at work and stopping employees playing casual games, reading social networking sites and the like, could cost the British economy up to £4 billion per year. Quite how anyone arrived at that figure is a bit of a mystery, but there we […]

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  • "Vietnam bans computer games"

    “Vietnam has ordered state officials to stop playing computer games at work and drinking alcohol at lunch,” said this frankly bizarre report from The Gulf Times. Like, that’s it. All we can think about now is crazed Vietnamese politicians getting battered on vodka and throwing up on their monitors during extended WoW sessions while they […]

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  • ELSPA DS piracy story "completely false"

    Whoops. The ELSPA story doing the round a few days ago concerning R4 carts and US DS piracy is, to be blunt, a load of old bollocks. The newspaper piece claimed that manager of ELSPA’s Intellectual Property Crime Unit, John Hillier, had said, “The implications are massive. In America it’s thought 90 percent of Nintendo […]

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  • PS3 SKU rumours gets out of hand: 160Gb, slim machine for autumn?

    It’ll make the tea as well. According to this, a “particularly well-informed insider” reckons Sony’s planning a slimline PS3 for launch this autumn, which could be the home of the now much-rumoured 160Gb hard drive SKU. The report uses the logic that both PS2 and PSP were slimmed down to support itself. This new rumour […]

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  • Sony "mulling over" PS3 SKU strategy

    Yet more in the 80Gb US PS3 cancellation saga, this time in the form of a story that Sony hasn’t actually made its mind up what to do about the whole issue. Heavy rumour’s been pointing to a 120Gb package to replace the 80Gb machine, but if this is to be believed, it’s all a […]

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  • Aliens "addicted to computer games", says scientist

    A scientist asked to come up with a “dangerous idea” has hypothesised that the reason alien species haven’t managed to reach earth is because they’re all doing what we’re doing: wasting our lives achieving nothing. “Basically, I think the aliens don’t blow themselves up,” said Geoffrey Miller, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of New […]

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  • Videogamer.com claims Bach GDC interview is "entirely fictional"

    Double uh oh. Videogamer.com reckons the recent Sith Gamer interview with Robbie Bach, which detailed some of what Microsoft is expected to show at GDC next month, is “entirely fictional”. The interview, which claimed Alan Wake and Halo Wars would be shown at the California developer conference, was picked up all over the web, with […]

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  • 3DRealms "polishing" DNF

    This almost isn’t worth the internet it’s written on, but 3DRealms reckons it’s “polishing” Duke Nukem Forever at the moment, which means you man see the shooter sometime before you’re dead. “We’re doing a lot of polishing of set pieces, environments, and characters,” said art director Tramell Isaac. Duke Nukem Forever has been in development […]

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  • Amazing gamer pill in rubbish shock

    Incredibly, pills marketed at FPS players looking to improve reaction times have been debunked as hokum, according to this. Despite the maker of FPSBrain claiming its products provides a “remarkable increase in perception and reaction capacities”, MTV called in a dietitian who begged to differ: “In addition to caffeine, most…[energy] drinks contain a high sugar […]

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