Ear Force Tango: you can spend $300 on a Black Ops II headset, assuming you're insane

You're going to own the living s**t out of Black Ops II, dagnabbit, and for that pure, futuristic, I-shun-the-present feel you'll need to support the horrific truth that you're very literally wasting your one and only life shooting pretend men in a darkened room for hundreds, very possibly thousands of hours, you're going to need some serious-assed future tense cans. The Ear Force Tango is oscar f**king mike. It's got dual-pairing Bluetooth, allowing you to answer your phone without exposing your ears to the extra-game soundscape. It's got some s**t called Sonic Lens, letting you to widen your aural field to pick up more made-up noises than ever before. But what's truly best is that the Ear Force Tango tells you, using the "actual voice actors in Black Ops II," when its battery's getting low and when it's powering up. Buy this right now. Even if you're rightfully too ashamed to even plug the stupid f**king thing in. Thanks, Evil Avatar.