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2023's worst game has gotten a Halloween update, as if it wasn't scary enough already

No, not Gollum, the other one. No, not Kong, the other one…

Michael Madsen in Crime Boss: Rockay City.
Image credit: VG247/505 Games

Everyone’s favourite so-bad-it’s-good 2023 release Crime Boss: Rockay City has gotten a free Halloween update, giving you a choice to spend spooky season reliving the horrors of watching semi-beloved 90s actors phone it in.

Yes, the game that rocked up in our lives and offered us a concentrated dose of half-baked 90s nostalgia that served as a pretty fine indication that we should probably stop doing half-baked 90s nostalgia is still receiving updates. Believe me, I’m as surprised as you are.

Crime Boss’ update 5.0 probably won’t save you from never being able to see its all-star cast, which in case you’ve forgotten, includes the likes of Michael Madsen, Chuck Norris and even Vanilla Ice, in the same light ever again, but it does give the game a nice Halloween-themed makeover.

As you can see in this trailer, the update slaps some nicely-decorated pumpkins onto enemy gangsters and adds a chainsaw-wielding slasher movie baddie dubbed “Angry Butcher” (no, not that one Diablo fans) to the game’s Turf War mode.

It also includes some new scenarios, Diner and Beach Road Underpass, which will task you with sneaking into enemy territory without triggering the alarm to thwart trades. It’s probably safe to assume these deals are going down in a diner and near an underpass, but hey, maybe that’s just a ruse from some crafty gangsters.

If you’re not in the mood to take down the free market, you can go to the new “Shopping Arcade”, a big two-floor mall, which seemingly boasts some new ways to shop.

5.0 also comes with a host of general gameplay improvements and tweaks, headlined by some new teammates, a stealth overhaul so that you can sneak around with those new teammates, and the ability to toggle your crosshair, which you’ll be able to test out while aiming your gun at the head of one of those new teammates.

Negative perks also look to have been removed, which might help you feel more positive after admitting to your friends that you’re still playing that game they all joked about back in March.

Then again, maybe you jumped into it for free during September’s Xbox play days and accidentally got hooked, in which case they might not spend more than an hour roasting you via your messaging app of choice. Hey, at least you’re not trying to convince them that you unironically love The Lord of the Rings: Gollum or Skull Island: Rise of Kong.

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