The Witcher 3 gets a bit silly in The Play's The Thing, and it's absolutely fantastic.
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The Witcher 3: The Play's The Thing Walkthrough
Our first step is to visit Priscilla in Novigrad and talk about Dudu. In one of those classic video game moments, you end up writing a play in order to lure the Doppler out of hiding.
Drama or comedy?
There is only on major decision to make here: drama, or comedy? SPOILER ALERT: skip past the italics if you don't want to know the outcomes of your choices.
- If you choose drama, a brawl will break out at the end of the play. This has no negative repercussions, really, and breaks up the talking.
Geralt doesn’t seem super excited about this process, but luckily Priscilla isn't actually interested in his input, so say whatever you like to the other questions.
When Priscilla has finished composing, deliver the script to Irina. The door is locked, so talk to the ticket seller. There's no way in besides coughing up 50 crowns for a ticket, for which you receive a measly 5 XP.
Next you’re off to hire some ushers – or more accurately, bouncers. I suggest saving when you arrive at the docks. Offer to try fighting the guys and see if you can win and get their services for free. If you fail you may wish to reload and pay them the normal rate. The fight’s not too hard if you are cautious. Keep circling so there’s only one able to hit you at any time, hit parry just as one attacks to trigger a small riposte, then hit him with two or three fast attacks. Immediately back off and set the same sequence up again.
However you achieve your ends, you're next off to hire the Puffins to spread the word. This section is optional, but as Irina tells you, results in a higher share of the profits at the end of the performance. Skip past the italics if you don't want to do it.
Enter the creepy looking building at the waypoint. The Puffins explain they’re too afraid to perform right at the moment due to a bit of intimidation by nasty gang. Go and find said gang just down the street. They really are unpleasant, aren’t they? It will be a delight to beat them up. If you use Axii in the conversation, you get XP but you still get to fight them, too! Hooray!
Back to Irina now, to report your success. You have to get involved with the casting, and learn, to Geralt’s discomfiture and apparent secret pleasure, that you’ll be in it. The choices you make here are of little consequence, except that you'll receive more money for casting Priscilla. If you really want the play to go well, though, pick Irina and Abelard.
When on stage, you get to choose between lines. It doesn’t matter what you pick, but if you choose the “wrong” line the crowd will react with confusion, and you’ll hear much funnier lines. Here are the "correct" responses:
- To slay beasts most foul...
- Perhaps 'midst the guests...
- Seems men's hearts...
- But a base heart...
- No monster is he...
Whatever you do, Geralt spots Dudu in the crowd and calls him onstage. Depending on your actions earlier, you may have a brawl now, but in either case, head backstage when you're ready to chat with the Doppler.
In the course of your chat, you can ask Dudu to show Geralt what Ciri looks like now if you like. This is a pretty emotional moment and worth seeing, i think.
When you finish chatting with Dudu, the quest ends and you begin A Poet under Pressure.