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Madame Web is somehow performing worse than Morbius, so we can't meme Sony Pictures into doing a re-release

The best cinematic universe there is.

Madame Web - Dakota Johnson and Sydney Sweeney
Image credit: Sony Pictures Releasing

Sorry, folks. We won't be able to 'Morbin' time' Madame Web into a re-release at a later date, as its box office performance spells an unprecedented disaster for Sony Pictures' Spider-Man-less Spider-Man universe.

The movie is currently sitting at 15% with critics reviews and a still-not-positive 59% from audiences on Rotten Tomatoes. For reference, Morbius, Sony Pictures' other effort to step out of Venom's shadow and try to force a shared universe into existence, ended at 15% with critics too, but managed to land a 71% approval rating with moviegoers.

But, as we all know, what matters the most to big studios are the financial performances. Sadly, things are looking even bleaker in that arena, with Madame Web currently tracking to come in well below Morbius' $39 million domestic debut, with only $25 million projected at most over six days according to estimates. Not even Valentine's Day boosted its lackluster opening.

People rooting for Sony's latest cynical cash-grab for some weird reason might play the angle of the movie maybe having 'legs', but with word-of-mouth failing to take off (meme'd or serious), that's a very unlikely scenario. Madame Web's reported production budget (before marketing expenses) is $80 million, somehow.

The fact Madame Web's main star, Dakota Johnson, has spent most of the press circuit low-key trying to tear the movie and the system responsible for it down probably 'helped' make it a misfire for Sony. We'd also want to escape out of a shitty contract.

Next up from Sony Pictures' goofy-ass Marvel universe is Kraven the Hunter and Venom 3, which should do better if only because of the gnarlier violence and overall tones that don't feel completely miserable.

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