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Don't get your hopes up about the new Thief movie

Unless you're a fan of Someone Marry Barry.


Square Enix has confirmed that the Thief movie is getting serious, with production company, writers and producers all signed up to bring the game to the big screen.

But a quick look at the work to date of the team behind the adaptation doesn't exactly fill us with confidence.

The screenplay is in the hands of Adam Mason and Simon Boyes, responsible for forgetable films Not Safe For Work (IMDb rating: 5.8/10), Misconduct (IMDb rating: 5.4/10) and Hangman (IMDb rating: 4.6/10).

Thief is being produced by Adrien Askarieh, who's name you may recognise from Hitman and Hitman: Agent 47, both game-to-movie stinkers.

Askarieh is working alongside production company Straight Up Films, responsible for movies you've never seen including Someone Marry Barry (which features this classic tuna fart scene) and Transcendence (in which Johnny Depp's brain becomes the internet, or some shit).

The one ray of hope in this is that producer Roy Lee is also involved somehow, and he's worked on The Departed, The Lego Movie and How To Train Your Dragon.

But still, it's not exactly J.J. Abrams overseeing the Portal and Half-Life movies, is it?

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