Soul Calibur for XBLA in HD with NO ONLINE PLAY

We nearly choked on our own tongues when we read this. Namco's announced that the original Soul Calibur is going to be made available on XBLA this summer. In HD. It's too good to be true. And it is.

Apparently there's no online multiplayer. Absolute fucking genius. So nearly the greatest thing ever just crumbled to dust in our sweating palms. Why, Namco? Why? This has to be the cruellest announcement of the year so far. What, do you think we're going to play this against our wives, or something? Come on, love: you be Lizard Man and we'll show you that our fingers still remember the Sophitia juggling special because we nearly crippled ourselves with arthritis by playing this on Dreamcast for about 500 hours. Yes please, dear. Goodness, I'm so impressed you managed to remember that move in your dreams since you were a rookie journo.

This has actually ruined today. And it's only 6.55am.