I am pretty sure Square Enix is trolling me, hardcore.
Well, Square Enix, a publisher I am temporarily consigning to The Doghouse, has since updated again, and added a "t" to the "star", so it now says "Start".
Start. So not Star. And therefore probably not Star Ocean.
In line with the New New New Games Journalism Policy of 2013, here is a GIF to illustrate my feelings:
Not-Star-Ocean will be revealed on April 15, presumably Japan time, if you can summon the will to tune in.
You may uncross the fingers I previously requested you to cross in order to ensure this wasn't another mobile, Japan-only release, for my care factor has plummeted far below zero, into the chilly depths that reek of the final entropy in the hearts of stars.
It's possible it will still turn out to be Star Ocean, in which case my enthusiasm will return like Persephone to grace you all with sunny warmth again. Until then, I'll be in my room. Crying.
Thanks, but not really, Gematsu.