Destiny review: the problem with video games

Monday, 15 September 2014 08:19 GMT By Brenna Hillier

How do we feel about Destiny after playing for more than 50 hours?

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Destiny review

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Reviewed on: PS4

Code: promotional base edition supplied by Activision one day prior to launch. Limited Edition purchased by reviewer. Retail base edition also purchased by reviewer due to online retailer pre-order fuck up. Purchased retail base edition to be traded for store credit, and will probably be used to buy a second PS4 control pad. CORRUPTION?

Time spent playing: estimated 50 hours plus.

Content reviewed: entire story campaign on hard difficulty (solo). Half story campaign on various difficulty settings (co-op). Story campaign again, at highest available difficulty settings. All Strikes at base level, level 18 and level 20. Two Strikes at level 22 (incomplete).

Content not reviewed: multiplayer Crucible. Raids.

Score: divide by zero error/10.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s too much like Halo.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s not enough like Halo.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s just “Halo the MMO”. Nobody wants Halo. Nobody wants MMOs.

The problem with Destiny is that there’s too much grinding.

The problem with Destiny is that there’s no grinding.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s too hard.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s too easy.

The problem with Destiny is that there’s no difference between the classes.

The problem with Destiny is that the [class] is O/P.

The problem with Destiny is that loot drops happen in menus instead of when you beat the boss and I just can’t.

The problem with Destiny is that everyone keeps dancing with me.

The problem with Destiny is that people keep trying to play with me.

The problem with Destiny is that you can’t play it solo.

The problem with Destiny is that you can play the whole story and even the Strikes solo.

The problem with Destiny is that Activision spent too much on marketing and nothing can live up to the hype.

The problem with Destiny is that “gamers” hate hubris, except when they don’t.

The problem with Destiny is that gamers buy into games before they launch instead of waiting for reviews.

The problem with Destiny is that reviewers suffer the effects of post-hype disappointment as much as anybody else.

The problem with Destiny is that reviewers are terrified of their readers.

The problem with Destiny is that there’s a Halo Easter Egg in it, and PlayStation scum shouldn’t even be able to SEE it, for fuck’s SAKE, hand me my GUN.

The problem with Destiny is that we’re so tired of mainstream video games, except when we aren’t.

The problem with Destiny is that the words “objectivity” and “subjectivity” are being thrown around like people really understood what they meant.

The problem with Destiny is that “objective standards to judge what makes a good video game” don’t exist.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s just a generic shooter.

The problem with Destiny is all the stuff that’s not shooting.

The problem with Destiny is that nobody is listening to me.

The problem with Destiny is that the enemy AI is so stupid.

The problem with Destiny is that the difficulty menu isn’t clearly explained.

The problem with Destiny is that I shouldn’t need to turn the difficulty up to find a challenge to match my skill level.

The problem with Destiny is that I shouldn’t need to turn the difficulty down to find a challenge to match my skill level.

The problem with Destiny is that the default difficulty setting shouldn’t match my skill level.

The problem with Destiny is that Bungie has built a shooter that never has to end, that never has to stop providing challenges.

The problem with Destiny is that it was built with such love, such love, and I can’t help loving it too.

The problem with Destiny is that shooters shouldn’t belong to everyone.

The problem with Destiny is that shooters belong to everyone.

The problem with Destiny is that the story is so boring.

The problem with Destiny is that the story is told in cutscenes.

The problem with Destiny is that the story is told in Grimoire cards and not cutscenes.

The problem with Destiny is that there is no story.

The problem with Destiny is that I didn’t listen to the story.

The problem with Destiny is that all the missions are just go here, go there, shoot this, collect that.

The problem with Destiny is that it pares gaming down to its essential loop, giving me immediate access to shooting and the loot cycle, and suddenly I’m having an existential crisis because I’ve realised that all mainstream video games are essentially the same experiences implemented to varying degrees of quality and wrapped in different aesthetics.

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The problem with Destiny is that people like it, and I don’t like it, and they won’t stop talking about it and I’m bored.

The problem with Destiny is that people don’t like it as much as I do and they keep going out of their way to let me know.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s easier to be funny when you complain than to enjoy things.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s easier to highlight faults than celebrate successes.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s cooler to be negative.

The problem with Destiny is people who won’t hear any criticism of things they like are so tiresome.

The problem with Destiny is that it’s not perfect.

The problem with Destiny is that nothing is perfect.

The problem with Destiny is that we’re all going to die and sometimes when I wake up in the armpit of the night I think about how I spend the majority of my leisure hours and I feel sick to my stomach with all the things I didn’t do and the problems in the world I cannot overcome and it is so much easier to argue with some random angry Internet dude about the loot cycle than work on my tax debts.

The problem with Destiny is that I don’t have enough time to devote to it to be truly competitive.

The problem with Destiny is that I’m enjoying a mainstream shooter more than ever before.

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The problem with Destiny is that everyone I know is playing it.

The problem with Destiny is that nobody I know is playing it.

The problem with Destiny is that I’m feeling excited about a mainstream video game.

The problem with Destiny is that a “cynical, paint-by numbers” approach to game design is often indistinguishable from a “really excellent” approach to game design if the people doing the designing are highly skilled and creatively nurtured.

The problem with Destiny is that I’ve run out of content.

The problem with Destiny is that the content is never-ending.

The problem with Destiny is that the mainstream games press don’t dictate anything.

The problem with Destiny is that the mainstream games press dictates everything.

The problem with Destiny is that reviews don’t mean anything.

The problem with Destiny is that almost nothing means anything and I don’t have the energy.

The problem with Destiny is video games.

The problem with Destiny is video games.

If you would like to read some real Destiny reviews, there are now plenty on offer.

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