French firm offers free dildos to Diablo 3 widows and widowers

Thursday, 17th May 2012 08:17 GMT By Patrick Garratt

French company Absoloo is offering free sex toys to those widowed by the just-released Diablo III. To claim, you need to post a picture of yourself on Absoloo’s Facebook page holding a copy of the game. You’ll then be sent a code with which to “adopt your new friend” from the Absoloo site. It’s not clear if the offer’s applicable outside of France, although we suspect that a sudden international crowd of pissed off, Diablo-burnt, dildo-hungry partners descending for hundreds of free cavity-based staffs of power (+1 vitality) may very well make it so. Thanks, Ugo.



  1. Telepathic.Geometry


    #1 2 years ago
  2. JonFE

    There’s a least one guy, who has posted his photo on that facebook page…

    #2 2 years ago
  3. Patrick Garratt

    There’s a few! Men have holes too ;)

    #3 2 years ago
  4. GwynbleiddiuM


    #4 2 years ago
  5. CyberMarco

    #5 2 years ago
  6. silkvg247

    See, whilst journalists write in depth reviews of why female avatars with skimpy clothes is sexist (when actually it’s just sexy, as is the female, full stop), they totally miss the boat on the more blatant sexism that the industry just gets away with.

    Diablo 3′s launch is the prime example. The only girls I’ve seen in any news coverage wre there just to look nice, even dressed up / in cosplay ffs. They weren’t gamers.

    And all over the place, I mean *all over* we have “jokes” about how D3 is gonna keep the boys hooked whilst the girls stay in the kitchen and in this case play with their bloody dildos.

    To all of them: Fuck you. I play diablo 3 too, and fuck you for thinking only people with a dick would be interested in it. You’ve managed to once again alienate women from gaming, and eradicate any chance they might have had to take an interest or try it out and see what the fuss is about.

    This might seem an over-reaction but I’ve had my excitement over D3 get pretty much erased by the fact that according to the entire industry I’m weird for wanting to play it in the first place. I should be playing with a dildo instead, or fretting over my “BF” playing D3, or some such.

    #6 2 years ago
  7. Patrick Garratt

    I deliberately didn’t mention a specific sex in that post for those reasons. I’ve added “widower” in the headline for the sake of balance.

    But yeah.

    #7 2 years ago
  8. silkvg247

    It wasn’t aimed at you Patrick, though reading my post again I can see you might think that.. :)

    It was just a little morning rant as I’ve seen too much “D3 is for boys” nonsense now.

    Anyhow I completed Act II yesterday, woop woop :)

    #8 2 years ago
  9. Gekidami

    So is anyone we know on there? Mrs Pat feeling the Diablo blues? :D

    #9 2 years ago
  10. Patrick Garratt

    @8 – Nah, I know. I totally agree with you, for what it’s worth. My heart really did sink when I saw those press shots of the models at the launch in London.

    #10 2 years ago
  11. Da Man

    Wow, nerd humor huh.

    #11 2 years ago
  12. DSB

    Best story ever.

    #12 2 years ago
  13. ashleyvarley

    Well the offer seems a bit vague and the sites not in English either. They don’t ship outside the UK! I own a dildo shop so feel free to roam mine with 15% discount off all products:

    #13 2 years ago

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