Fallout 4: conversations from the Wasteland

By Brenna Hillier, Monday, 9 November 2015 13:00 GMT

Team VG247 has been playing a lot of Fallout 4 lately.

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VG247 staff conference call, 3 November 2015
M: How are you getting on with Fallout 4?
B: I hate it. It’s totally painful.
B: If this were a game I was playing for myself, I’d just stop.
P: Oh dear.

VG247 Slack, 4 November 2015
B: Some Fallout tips! Hold Circle to switch on your flashlight.
M: Wicked, I had no idea there was a torch
B: Me either, I was trying to close a menu

VG247 Slack, 4 November 2015
6:22pm B: More tips. Shoot Ghouls in the head before they get up
6:26pm B: Use block actively against Ghouls!
6:43pm B: DON’T GO WHERE GHOULS ARE
7:01pm B: Just got killed by ghouls again -_-

VG247 Slack, 4 November 2015
M: Are you using VATS?
B: Yeah. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I die constantly and nothing is fun
B: And I’m supposed to spend points and perks unlocking base building stuff???
M: What level are you?
B: Nine.
M: Spend some perks on health or radiation protection.
B: *sigh*​ I’m just shit at this. I was shit at Fallout 3, too
B: I really want to restart but I’d probably just fuck up another build and there’s no time!
M: Just play it for a day and don’t worry about what you’re going to write. Play it how you want
B: I just got killed by ghouls again … again.

VG247 Slack, November 4 2015
B: AHHH I RAN INTO A MINE AGAIN
B: ​*throws control pad down*​
B: Is there a perk that just gets rid of mines!
M: VATS picks them out for you, you don’t have to be able to see them
B: I KNOW I FALL OVER THEM ANYWAY
B: Woah!!
B: I just fought a random ghoul and it suddenly said “Legendary Enemy has mutated”
B: I killed it and got a sweet gun!
M: Wow, haven’t seen that
B: Game felt sorry for me
M: Ha
B: I JUST RAN OVER ANOTHER MINE

fallout_4_impressions_4

Home sweet home.

Monologue delivered to shower drain, evening of 4 November 2015
I really want to like this. I need to like this. Why am I so bad at this? I’m okay at shooters. I’m good at RPGs. The survival elements aren’t that hardcore. Maybe I’ll re-roll in the morning. Honestly, I just don’t want to do this any more. It’s not fun. You know what I want to do, what it makes me want to do? I want to go play Skyrim again. Now there’s a good Bethesda game. Or Oblivion. Or Morrowind…

Silent dialogue, 1:42am, 5 November 2015
B: Why are we awake, traitorous brain?
T: [general feeling of anxiety]
B: Look even if I personally don’t get on with Fallout 4 I bet I can write something helpful about it or whatever
T: [anxiety increases]
B: What are you trying to tell me!
T: … Skyrim.
B: Yes. We love Skyrim. What of it! How does that help me right now!
T: SKYRIM
B: I am not getting up at nearly two in the morning to play Skyrim!
T: SKYRIM, SKYRIM, SKYRIM
B: Wait
B: Waittttttt
T: Skyrim
B: SKYRIM
B: YES
B: I UNDERSTAND NOW
B: I WILL RE-ROLL IN THE MORNING
B: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE

VG247 Slack, 5 November 2015
B: Just FYI it’s fine I love Fallout 4 now
B: I started again and it’s all so much better now I understand the menus and whatever
M: It’s really not friendly to new players at all
B: It’s got that CRPG DNA innit. Good stuff but baffling if you just want to shoot shit
B: Even just putting on clothes is hard
M: Yeah, I was wandering around in pants and a belt buckle across my chest. Didn’t realise until I went third person
M: Looked like a goddamn gimp
B: I’m wearing a bandana, a hardhat and some spectacles
B: Every cut scene I have a little vom
M: Haha

fallout_4_impressions_6

Have since acquired better outfit.

VG247 Slack, 5 November 2015
B: Have you tried approaching the Swan in the pond just outside Park Station
B: ?
M: No?
B: It’s not a good idea
B: It’s not really a swan at all
M: Ominous
B: It threw radioactive rocks at me and it was the size of a house
B: So that was surprising, what a lot of surprises this game has
M: Good and bad

fallout_4_impressions_5

Made a wang.

Remarks addressed to TV, 6 November 2015
G: “Lady, I like guns too, but do you think you might be overcompensating?”
B: NO
B: I NEED ALL THESE GUNS
B: ALL OF THEM
B: GUNS FOR DAYS
B: ONE GUN FOR EACH TYPE OF AMMO
B: IT’S JUST MATHS

Remarks addressed to TV, 6 November 2015
B: Pipes. Pipes, come over here. No, come over here – look, okay, see? I’m using the command menu. Stand there. Stand right there.
B: Are you standing there? Are you – okay good. No, don’t go looking for baddies. Never mind the baddies. My stealth is so high they couldn’t find us with a homing device attached to your arse, and as it turns out they’re three floors away. Just be quiet.
B: Okay. Are you ready? Are you watching? Okay. I’m picking this Expert level lock now. Voila!

Piper liked that.

B: You bet she did.

Fallout 4_20151108162342

Remarks addressed to TV, 6 November 2015
B: GET OFF THE ROOF
B: WHY DOES EVERYONE END UP ON MY ROOF
B: GET DOWN FROM THERE

(If you’re wondering how I resolved this problem: I built a staircase leading to the roof. This allowed the Brahmin to climb down at some point while I was away. Even though I removed the stairs, NPCs still wander up there all the time, so I had to keep putting the stairs back to go talk to them. Eventually I just decided to leave them there as a feature of my town. This is probably a bug.)

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: This is some serious Mind: Path to Thalamus shit right here. They’re probably too small to sue Bethesda, though.

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: Here you go, buddy: one Nuka Cola. Fetch quest complete.
P: “That was real sweet of you.”

Piper idolises you.

B: She – she what? Oh. Oh gosh. I’m not ready. Okay, no, it’s fine. I don’t know how this works, but it’s gonna be fine. Just be cool, Brenna. Just be cool. Just talk to her. Tell her how you feel.
B: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. No! No, really? No, fuck ‘em, they’re shitheads, Pipes, you’re the best. You’re so smart and moral and your hair always looks great. Never mind the rest of the world. We’ll be friends forever. Yes, I know, we have a very special connection, don’t we! Are you ready? I’m pushing the romance button!

Persuasion failed

B: GET. FUCKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
B: What kind of idiot doesn’t save for an hour.

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Yeah, I’m taking Piper. Piper never whines.

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: Wow the frame rate just went to shit
B: Admittedly it was while four guys exploded into bloody chunks and their skellingtons flew away in bits??
B: All in all, no complaints

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: Excuse me, I have here a bunch of high level, modded-up armour pieces. How much will you give me for them? Almost no money? I see.
B: What if I boost my charisma a bit, and buy some perks? What if I collect some relevant skill books? Favour specific merchants who give me discounts?
B: Still almost nothing, huh. And I see you’re out of money anyway. I guess I could swap for some Stimpaks, but that won’t help me buy the six shipments of asbestos I need, and anyway I already have 99 Stimpaks due to being the god incarnate of warfare. Hmm.
B: Right. Okay. Time to get serious about this. Minion! Come with me. And bring your deepest pockets.

Remarks addressed to TV, 8 November 2015
B: After just 20 hours of running back and forth between dungeons and vendors ignoring any and all actual gameplay in favour of faffing about in inventories I have more money and materials than anyone could ever need…!
B: Why is it always so easy to break the economy in Bethesda games

fallout_4_impressions_3

OWNED

Collection of exchanges over the course of a week, various formats, responses spoken aloud to empty house
[PSN friend] has sent a request to watch your gameplay
There’s obviously an embargo, are you actually joking
[Another PSN friend] has sent a request to watch your gameplay
Fuck off
[A third PSN friend] has sent a request to watch your gameplay
I have never been so popular
Facebook message: I HATE YOU, TELL ME EVERYTHING
“Seen”
[The first PSN friend] has sent another request to watch your gameplay
Fuck offfffffffff

fallout_4_impressions_2

What is best in life, Wastelander? A crate, a bed and a magazine rack.

Silent dialogue, 12:17am, 9 November 2015
B: What is it now, traitor brain
T: ♫♪ Ping … pang ♪♫
B: Dang I love how that bit is sort of like a clock ticking, or dripping in a cave. I imagine this radioactive glow from a pool of water, deep underground. The march of time, the half-life of nuclear materials.
T: ♫♪ Hrum … thrum ♪♫
B: And then this restrained but somehow warm chord progression. Just hearing it makes my heart lift
T: ♫♪ Hrum … thrum … HRUM ♪♫
B: Ahhh I’m thinking about Piper and what it’s like to walk into some amazing location and see all this stuff spread out before us, and she gasps and I’m like I know right I love having adventures with you. This is a really good bit of music
T: ♫♪ Ping … pang ♪♫
B: Inon Zur is actually a genius isn’t he. Like a real proper genius.
T: ♫♪ Hrum … thrum ♪♫
B: Okay though, we need to be asleep now buddy, big day tomorrow
T: ♫♪ PING PANG HRUM THRUM HRUM ♪♫
B: Hooray

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Why.

Remarks addressed to TV, 9 November 2015
B: *stares suspiciously into glass, in case it happens to be full of LSD*
B: I can’t believe I actually care about these people and what’s happening in the story, in addition to my ongoing quest to break every gameplay system until I can rampage across the landscape unchecked by man nor beast, as is my primary gaming goal at all times.

Fallout 4 is enormous and Brenna is not finished having feelings about it yet. Matt will write down some proper prose opinions soon. Both of them have a PS4 copy, and neither of them want to stop playing.

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