Fallout 4: conversations from the Wasteland

Team VG247 has been playing a lot of Fallout 4 lately.

VG247 staff conference call, 3 November 2015
M: How are you getting on with Fallout 4?
B: I hate it. It's totally painful.
B: If this were a game I was playing for myself, I'd just stop.
P: Oh dear.

VG247 Slack, 4 November 2015
B: Some Fallout tips! Hold Circle to switch on your flashlight.
M: Wicked, I had no idea there was a torch
B: Me either, I was trying to close a menu

VG247 Slack, 4 November 2015
6:22pm B: More tips. Shoot Ghouls in the head before they get up
6:26pm B: Use block actively against Ghouls!
6:43pm B: DON'T GO WHERE GHOULS ARE
7:01pm B: Just got killed by ghouls again -_-

VG247 Slack, 4 November 2015
M: Are you using VATS?
B: Yeah. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I die constantly and nothing is fun
B: And I'm supposed to spend points and perks unlocking base building stuff???
M: What level are you?
B: Nine.
M: Spend some perks on health or radiation protection.
B: *sigh*​ I'm just s**t at this. I was s**t at Fallout 3, too
B: I really want to restart but I'd probably just f**k up another build and there's no time!
M: Just play it for a day and don't worry about what you're going to write. Play it how you want
B: I just got killed by ghouls again ... again.

VG247 Slack, November 4 2015
B: AHHH I RAN INTO A MINE AGAIN
B: ​*throws control pad down*​
B: Is there a perk that just gets rid of mines!
M: VATS picks them out for you, you don't have to be able to see them
B: I KNOW I FALL OVER THEM ANYWAY
B: Woah!!
B: I just fought a random ghoul and it suddenly said "Legendary Enemy has mutated"
B: I killed it and got a sweet gun!
M: Wow, haven't seen that
B: Game felt sorry for me
M: Ha
B: I JUST RAN OVER ANOTHER MINE

Monologue delivered to shower drain, evening of 4 November 2015
I really want to like this. I need to like this. Why am I so bad at this? I'm okay at shooters. I'm good at RPGs. The survival elements aren't that hardcore. Maybe I'll re-roll in the morning. Honestly, I just don't want to do this any more. It's not fun. You know what I want to do, what it makes me want to do? I want to go play Skyrim again. Now there's a good Bethesda game. Or Oblivion. Or Morrowind...

Silent dialogue, 1:42am, 5 November 2015
B: Why are we awake, traitorous brain?
T: [general feeling of anxiety]
B: Look even if I personally don't get on with Fallout 4 I bet I can write something helpful about it or whatever
T: [anxiety increases]
B: What are you trying to tell me!
T: ... Skyrim.
B: Yes. We love Skyrim. What of it! How does that help me right now!
T: SKYRIM
B: I am not getting up at nearly two in the morning to play Skyrim!
T: SKYRIM, SKYRIM, SKYRIM
B: Wait
B: Waittttttt
T: Skyrim
B: SKYRIM
B: YES
B: I UNDERSTAND NOW
B: I WILL RE-ROLL IN THE MORNING
B: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE

VG247 Slack, 5 November 2015
B: Just FYI it's fine I love Fallout 4 now
B: I started again and it's all so much better now I understand the menus and whatever
M: It's really not friendly to new players at all
B: It's got that CRPG DNA innit. Good stuff but baffling if you just want to shoot s**t
B: Even just putting on clothes is hard
M: Yeah, I was wandering around in pants and a belt buckle across my chest. Didn't realise until I went third person
M: Looked like a goddamn gimp
B: I'm wearing a bandana, a hardhat and some spectacles
B: Every cut scene I have a little vom
M: Haha

VG247 Slack, 5 November 2015
B: Have you tried approaching the Swan in the pond just outside Park Station
B: ?
M: No?
B: It's not a good idea
B: It's not really a swan at all
M: Ominous
B: It threw radioactive rocks at me and it was the size of a house
B: So that was surprising, what a lot of surprises this game has
M: Good and bad

Remarks addressed to TV, 6 November 2015
G: “Lady, I like guns too, but do you think you might be overcompensating?”
B: NO
B: I NEED ALL THESE GUNS
B: ALL OF THEM
B: GUNS FOR DAYS
B: ONE GUN FOR EACH TYPE OF AMMO
B: IT'S JUST MATHS

Remarks addressed to TV, 6 November 2015
B: Pipes. Pipes, come over here. No, come over here - look, okay, see? I’m using the command menu. Stand there. Stand right there.
B: Are you standing there? Are you - okay good. No, don’t go looking for baddies. Never mind the baddies. My stealth is so high they couldn’t find us with a homing device attached to your arse, and as it turns out they’re three floors away. Just be quiet.
B: Okay. Are you ready? Are you watching? Okay. I’m picking this Expert level lock now. Voila!

Piper liked that.

B: You bet she did.

Remarks addressed to TV, 6 November 2015
B: GET OFF THE ROOF
B: WHY DOES EVERYONE END UP ON MY ROOF
B: GET DOWN FROM THERE

(If you’re wondering how I resolved this problem: I built a staircase leading to the roof. This allowed the Brahmin to climb down at some point while I was away. Even though I removed the stairs, NPCs still wander up there all the time, so I had to keep putting the stairs back to go talk to them. Eventually I just decided to leave them there as a feature of my town. This is probably a bug.)

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: This is some serious Mind: Path to Thalamus s**t right here. They’re probably too small to sue Bethesda, though.

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: Here you go, buddy: one Nuka Cola. Fetch quest complete.
P: "That was real sweet of you."

Piper idolises you.

B: She - she what? Oh. Oh gosh. I’m not ready. Okay, no, it’s fine. I don’t know how this works, but it’s gonna be fine. Just be cool, Brenna. Just be cool. Just talk to her. Tell her how you feel.
B: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. No! No, really? No, f**k ‘em, they’re shitheads, Pipes, you’re the best. You’re so smart and moral and your hair always looks great. Never mind the rest of the world. We’ll be friends forever. Yes, I know, we have a very special connection, don’t we! Are you ready? I’m pushing the romance button!

Persuasion failed

B: GET. FUCKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
B: What kind of idiot doesn't save for an hour.

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: Wow the frame rate just went to s**t
B: Admittedly it was while four guys exploded into bloody chunks and their skellingtons flew away in bits??
B: All in all, no complaints

Remarks addressed to TV, 7 November 2015
B: Excuse me, I have here a bunch of high level, modded-up armour pieces. How much will you give me for them? Almost no money? I see.
B: What if I boost my charisma a bit, and buy some perks? What if I collect some relevant skill books? Favour specific merchants who give me discounts?
B: Still almost nothing, huh. And I see you’re out of money anyway. I guess I could swap for some Stimpaks, but that won’t help me buy the six shipments of asbestos I need, and anyway I already have 99 Stimpaks due to being the god incarnate of warfare. Hmm.
B: Right. Okay. Time to get serious about this. Minion! Come with me. And bring your deepest pockets.

Remarks addressed to TV, 8 November 2015
B: After just 20 hours of running back and forth between dungeons and vendors ignoring any and all actual gameplay in favour of faffing about in inventories I have more money and materials than anyone could ever need…!
B: Why is it always so easy to break the economy in Bethesda games

Collection of exchanges over the course of a week, various formats, responses spoken aloud to empty house
[PSN friend] has sent a request to watch your gameplay
There’s obviously an embargo, are you actually joking
[Another PSN friend] has sent a request to watch your gameplay
F**k off
[A third PSN friend] has sent a request to watch your gameplay
I have never been so popular
Facebook message: I HATE YOU, TELL ME EVERYTHING
“Seen”
[The first PSN friend] has sent another request to watch your gameplay
F**k offfffffffff

Silent dialogue, 12:17am, 9 November 2015
B: What is it now, traitor brain
T: ♫♪ Ping ... pang ♪♫
B: Dang I love how that bit is sort of like a clock ticking, or dripping in a cave. I imagine this radioactive glow from a pool of water, deep underground. The march of time, the half-life of nuclear materials.
T: ♫♪ Hrum ... thrum ♪♫
B: And then this restrained but somehow warm chord progression. Just hearing it makes my heart lift
T: ♫♪ Hrum ... thrum ... HRUM ♪♫
B: Ahhh I'm thinking about Piper and what it's like to walk into some amazing location and see all this stuff spread out before us, and she gasps and I'm like I know right I love having adventures with you. This is a really good bit of music
T: ♫♪ Ping ... pang ♪♫
B: Inon Zur is actually a genius isn't he. Like a real proper genius.
T: ♫♪ Hrum ... thrum ♪♫
B: Okay though, we need to be asleep now buddy, big day tomorrow
T: ♫♪ PING PANG HRUM THRUM HRUM ♪♫
B: Hooray

Remarks addressed to TV, 9 November 2015
B: *stares suspiciously into glass, in case it happens to be full of LSD*
B: I can’t believe I actually care about these people and what’s happening in the story, in addition to my ongoing quest to break every gameplay system until I can rampage across the landscape unchecked by man nor beast, as is my primary gaming goal at all times.

Fallout 4 is enormous and Brenna is not finished having feelings about it yet. Matt will write down some proper prose opinions soon. Both of them have a PS4 copy, and neither of them want to stop playing.