Bethesda has apparently offered a reward to any parents willing to give birth on Skyrim’s release day who subsequently name their child Dovahkiin – “Dragonborn”.
We’re almost certain they’re joking. They’re not joking.
A post on the Bethesda Blog flagged this weekend as the perfect time to conceive in preparation for a November 11 birth this year – the release date for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
Bethesda vice president Pete Hines is said to have promised an “unknown reward” to anybody who goes through with the “casual quest” – although a weighty disclaimer is attached to the offer.
“Disclaimer: Any reward for completing this quest will not ultimately justify the potential teasing your child could — and probably will — endure over its lifespan. Bethesda Softworks is not responsible for your parenting. You may gain experience points for completing this quest, but you will not care at 3am on a work night. Completion of this quest may also result in decreased desire to play video games and/or function as a human being. Consult with your friends before embarking on this quest; while it may not start in prison, it probably ends there.”
Don’t do it.
Thanks, Big Download.
[Update] Bethesda has updated the original blog post with some more information for those “seriously considering” the proposal.
The publisher is proposing to hand over a Steam key unlocking every Bethesda game past, present, and future, for the whole of the child’s life. Assuming video games exist forever and Bethesda keep raking it in, that’s about 70 years’ worth.
“Once your child eventually achieves cognition — and grows old enough to play intense video games — we think it will agree that this key blows away a pink pleated onesie,” the blog commented.
“As for the rest of the loot, we’ll leave it as a surprise.”