Wed, Feb 23, 2011 | 02:20 GMT

Skyrim release day babies eligible for Bethesda’s reward [Update]

Bethesda has apparently offered a reward to any parents willing to give birth on Skyrim’s release day who subsequently name their child Dovahkiin – “Dragonborn”.

We’re almost certain they’re joking. They’re not joking.

A post on the Bethesda Blog flagged this weekend as the perfect time to conceive in preparation for a November 11 birth this year – the release date for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

Bethesda vice president Pete Hines is said to have promised an “unknown reward” to anybody who goes through with the “casual quest” – although a weighty disclaimer is attached to the offer.

“Disclaimer: Any reward for completing this quest will not ultimately justify the potential teasing your child could — and probably will — endure over its lifespan. Bethesda Softworks is not responsible for your parenting. You may gain experience points for completing this quest, but you will not care at 3am on a work night. Completion of this quest may also result in decreased desire to play video games and/or function as a human being. Consult with your friends before embarking on this quest; while it may not start in prison, it probably ends there.”

Don’t do it.

Thanks, Big Download.

[Update] Bethesda has updated the original blog post with some more information for those “seriously considering” the proposal.

The publisher is proposing to hand over a Steam key unlocking every Bethesda game past, present, and future, for the whole of the child’s life. Assuming video games exist forever and Bethesda keep raking it in, that’s about 70 years’ worth.

“Once your child eventually achieves cognition — and grows old enough to play intense video games — we think it will agree that this key blows away a pink pleated onesie,” the blog commented.

“As for the rest of the loot, we’ll leave it as a surprise.”

Thanks, Joystiq.

19 comments

#1

KillerDD
20/02/11, 11:59 pm

I’d do it.

#2

Rosseu
21/02/11, 12:36 am

They’re obviously joking, though if someone does this they’d still probably give a reward too

#3

LOLshock94
21/02/11, 12:48 am

lmfao funnyest shit ive ever heard

#4

pukem0n
21/02/11, 1:28 am

you get the game for free and a big tattoo for your forehead saying “idiot parent”

#5

Phoenixblight
21/02/11, 1:59 am

Hahaha yeah because 18 years of waiting on hand and foot on your child is totally worth TES5

#6

Hunam
21/02/11, 2:12 am

18 years? What lunacy is this!? I knew you lot across in the land of the free coddle your kids too long.

#7

mathare92
21/02/11, 2:25 am

In the very unlikely event that this actually happens, I think the best reward, as suggested in the BigDownload post, would be a full college scholarship.

#8

Phoenixblight
21/02/11, 3:40 am

@6

It would be law, hell if the child continues to go to school ie college you still have to pay until 24 I believe.

#9

Hunam
21/02/11, 4:04 am

Looking after and waiting on hand and foot is something else. Tell them to get a part time job and cook and clean and the rest of it. Hell, by the time i was 14 i was practically looking after myself.

#10

Phoenixblight
21/02/11, 4:39 am

Well the looking after and waiting on part I was more or less talking about until they were 14 maybe later since I have a daughter :P

#11

Kerplunk
21/02/11, 8:14 am

This is a stupid idea. My firstborn son, Turok, agrees.

#12

Blerk
21/02/11, 8:57 am

God damn, Kerplunk – I was just about to do that gag! :-D

#13

Kerplunk
21/02/11, 9:07 am

What gag?

#14

Blerk
21/02/11, 9:09 am

lol!

#15

Xenoliath
21/02/11, 9:43 am

I can almost guarantee one person will do it.

#16

thesamy
21/02/11, 2:44 pm

yay i just hed an unprotected sex with my neighbour
now i just need to make sure she will not get an abortion lol

#17

m2stech
23/02/11, 2:47 am

11/11/11 seems like an illiminati number!

#18

Moonwalker1982
23/02/11, 2:56 am

My bro’s girl is expecting a child in october, i could just tell them that this is a great name, hahaha. And my bro is not a RPG fan so that reward would go straight to? Yes…me ;)

Nah.

#19

Golden
23/02/11, 11:24 am

Fantastic, the disclaimer is excellent

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