Here. Only one of these "rumours" is correct. The others aren't. See if you can work out which one's true. There's nothing else going on, so you may as well. "Innovative RTS-platformer hybrid campaign"?
Rumour One: Banjo and Grunty team up against a new threat, falling in love in the process.
Sexy post-transformation Grunty makes a return and proves irresistible to our heroic bear, much to Kazooie's disgust. Can the mismatched trio defeat their fire-breathing foe?
Rumour Two: Kazooie is abducted by aliens and Banjo heads out to search the cosmos.
Partway through his low-gravity exploits, he discovers who's taken her... and it's a familiar face from the Rare archives who has been 'turned to the green side' by Grunty.
Rumour Three: Banjo and Kazooie travel back through time in pursuit of the witch's giant T.I.T.
Grunty drives her Time Interfering Truck back to before the bear and bird met. The duo must reintroduce themselves and relearn everything they know in a completely new way!
Rumour Four: Banjo comes out of retirement to stop his home being redeveloped into tower blocks and malls.
To end the struggle, a capricious higher power engineers a bear/witch showdown through worlds of the imagination – with Spiral Mountain's ownership deeds going to the victor.
Rumour Five: War comes to Spiral Mountain, and Banjo becomes a reluctant leader.
Ever seen a Jinjo Tank? Or Grunty's Grappling Grenadier Grunts? You will when you take on our innovative RTS-platformer hybrid campaign.
The game's out before Christmas.