7 games that depict the ravaged wastes of Brexit Britain

By Callum Agnew, Monday, 14 January 2019 08:28 GMT

Brexit is coming (maybe?). Although we’re just three short months away and still have no definitive idea on what shape it will take, the consequences of a No Deal Brexit are becoming clearer and clearer.

Let’s be honest, it’s looking horrifyingly bleak. However, there are some video games out there that have a very optimistic vision on what Brexit Britain will look like.

Here’s some surprising trail-blazers that are depicting the country’s future with inspiring hope.

Devil May Cry 5

London’s burning. Martial law is declared. The military has been deployed, decimated, and dispersed. Red double-decker busses burn on an old bridge that nobody remembers the name of. A crashed ambulance under the flickering screens of Piccadilly Circus is a depressing reminder of the broken and stripped remains of the NHS.

The economy has tanked and small business owner, Dante, can’t afford to flush the shit out of his own toilets. A young man named Nero lost his right arm due to an accident at work. Despite this harrowing event, he recently received a letter in the mail deeming him fit for work. Niko, a freelance creator, lives and works out of her van so she can keep up with her two other jobs as a Deliveroo and Uber driver. The stress levels have risen so high that people’s hair is turning white. The city’s remains are populated by hostile goons wielding some of the worst smack talk imaginable. Medicine is scarce. There’s no food to be found. Weapons are everywhere.

Doom Eternal

Gammon. It follows you. It screams at you. It will kill you. The angry gammon demons group up and swarm those they fear when they are alone. You’re in a twisted, inescapable hell, every day is an exhausting never-ending fight. Some have already wasted away into shambling zombies, waiting for the sweet release of death.

This all came about because people decided to put an old robot incapable of expressing human emotions in charge. This robot will go to any lengths to ensure its own survival. All of the people under the robot’s care have died, the staff were hunted by demons at their place of work. The leader never has to give up power if there’s nothing to step down from. All that’s left is ripping and tearing.

Don’t Starve Together

In full Brexit Britain, the UK needed ships to ferry food and supplies. After being made aware that the country is an island, the Secretary of State for Transport, Chris Grayling awarded a £13.8m shipping contract to a startup company that does not and has never owned any ferries. Because of this, food supplies quickly ran short and people died. Because people died, the country’s tax income fell. Coupled with the rise in price + new tariffs on importing gas and electricity, the spike in the cost of living, as well as the plummeting value of sterling, Brexit Britain went dark. It’s a hungry hostile land. Bendy bananas? There are no bananas.

You have to grow your own food, create your own camp, and ensure that during the night a light is on at all times, otherwise some whopper called Charlie will come around and smack your head in with a kitchen sink.

Not Tonight

This one might sound a little far fetched…

Set in “Britain” ruled by the “Albion First” party, you are a “European” who despite being born in “Britain” are not recognised as “British” because of a Nordic grandfather, Spanish parents, or some other reason. As a person of “Euro Heritage” you have been moved to a “relocation block” with others like you. With the threat of deportation if you do not earn enough money, you are forced to work as a freelance bouncer.

You’re regularly harassed by a police officer. Everyone you interact with identifies and treats you as a second class citizen. People openly relish the fact that your stay in the country is precarious.

We Happy Few

After the country was conned into believing a huge lie, everything turned to shite. The majority of the population now relies on psychogenic drugs to deal with the fact that the only food they can buy is spoiled jam from the export reserves and rats. This drug use is also enforced to ensure the people who bought and sold this deception will never face any repercussion. After all, if the ones responsible pay the piper, then those in power lose their mandate. Anyone who speaks out against this, who live in and address the reality of their awful quality of life, are condemned as “downers” and are met with open hostility.

The children blame their parents for the shithole their home country has become. They’ve all left to go live in Europe and have ceased all form of communication. They aren’t immigrants, though – they’re expats.

Metal Gear Solid 2

People didn’t understand this when it first came around. It touched on subjects people previously had no idea or opinion about. Why are you banging on about memes, Kojima? What the shit is a meme? We don’t even have the internet on our phones and I’m ten years old.

Bombarded with information and awed with the authority it spoke with on myriad of complex topics, people just went with it. All of these new ideas, and assured opinions filled them with confidence, it has to be great. People told all of their friends how amazing it is. Their friends also had no fucking idea what was happening, but they didn’t want to look stupid, so they agreed with them. Time passed.

Years later, when people finally heard from those who actually understood the issues being discussed, the so called “experts”, people realised it was actually pretty bad. Stupidly bad even. But people can’t just change their minds. People can’t hold up their hands and admit they only pretended to understand the position they once vehemently and passionately held. So they went for the easier option, they doubled down and committed. They’ve gone to ludicrous lengths to argue that this is in fact good because it’s supposed to be bad…

The only enjoyment they get out of this is from explaining, in laborious detail, why this is the best thing to ever happen. If you don’t agree, it’s because you just don’t get it and should shut up. Shut your filthy mouth, you snowflake motherfucker.

Wolfenstein: The New Colossus

You wake up one morning in a world where racially driven attacks have dramatically increased. The far right is on the march. Nazis are saluting openly in the streets. The government is systematically killing the sick and disabled. Buildings burn, and nobody is held to account because of who it affects.

You don’t recognise your home anymore and you feel threatened out in public. You desperately cling to the few left who hold the same values you thought everybody once shared. Your family have betrayed everything they taught you, proudly supporting those who hate and opress.

This isn’t the country you once knew, is it? What’s changed? Nothing has changed, the country you imagined was just your personal experience, it’s only now you’re forced to acknowledge the whole ugly face. You wonder if it is possible to ever recover from this. Another part of you feels we don’t deserve to.

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