Cuisine Royale lets you go to war with a colander on your head and a waffle maker as armour

By Kirk McKeand
28 June 2018 14:02 GMT

Just in case you thought the battle royale boom was over, there’s a new chef in town and he’s got more than just chicken dinners on the table.

Cuisine Royale is free for a limited time. It pops you and 29 others onto an island and has you battling it out while wearing all manner of kitchen implements. You can also kill someone with a ladle.

Just like Totally Accurate Battlegrounds, this game started life as a April Fool’s joke and now it’s a thing. An actual thing made by the Gaijin Entertainment, developer of MMO shooter Enlisted.

It’s about as daft as it gets, letting you strap a wok to your chest and rock it as a breastplate.

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You can also wear glasses for increased accuracy or chomp on a cigar for more toughness. Everyone starts each match in their pants, so at least nobody will be buying beige slacks on the Steam Marketplace for $500.

Oh, and it has very nice trees. Just putting that out there. Trees. Nice ones. Anyone? Trees?

If you want to try it out, it’s only free on Steam until July 2. If you install it before then, you get to keep it for free. Winner, winner, please kill me now I don’t want to live in this world anymore.

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