Final Fantasy 13’s Lightning is not real but gave an interview about Louis Vuitton anyway

By Brenna Hillier, Thursday, 14 January 2016 05:16 GMT

Sigh.

lightning_louis_vuitton_gag_gag_gag_horror

Final Fantasy 13 protagonist Lightning was recently chosen as a face of Louis Vuitton. The pictures went a bit viral online over the break while we were off refusing even to think of work, and when we got the press release first thing on the first morning back at work, we couldn’t face it.

But now The Telegraph has gone and interviewed her, somehow, so i guess we’re talking about it.

I have no idea who supplied Lightning’s answers but they paint a peculiar picture of the author, who apparently imagines a woman who rebelled against her gods, commands powerful spirits and eventually became an all-powerful avatar of time would consider herself inferior to actors and models – who may be very hard working and talented but have not overturned even a single dominion.

And it’s got puns.

“I’m not one to give up. One of my strengths is ‘experience,'” Lightning said.

Experience! Get it? Because she’s from an RPG. This is a joke for nerds. Don’t worry if you don’t get it. You’re probably too cool, or possibly equipped with an actual sense of humour.

Also, it suggests Lightning is so oblivious as to consider it appropriate to reference her own name in interview answers.

“The moment I laid eyes on his collection, it was as if I was hit by a bolt of lightning,” she said.

Lightning. No. Don’t do that. Get off brand, right now. Get off and walk home.

I don’t even know what to do with this next quote:

“All this time, I thought the only style that suited me was one that mirrored who I was: strong and tough. But I was wrong. He changed the way I see myself. Perhaps I’m finally learning who I truly am.”

… except maybe lie down in the dark and wish for a world in which individuals did not generate millions of dollars for themselves by making people feel so awful that they fork out ridiculous amounts of money for items (clothes, electronics, whatever) made in sweatshops for a tiny fraction of their price tags.

I can’t look at any more of this. I have completed my task: you have been provided with the link to go and look at the fake interview with the fake lady and react however you wish.

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