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Rumour: Rare working on Natal fitness game

Thursday, 21st January 2010 12:59 GMT By Patrick Garratt

seagull

[gulls, waves, people talking]

“Hello.”
“Hello.”

[long pause. car driving past]

“Look, I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need.”
“I think there is.”
“Well.”
“It’s not easy for me to apologise, you know. I’m not the type. You could at least have the grace to accept.”
“All right. Just forget about it. I know you were upset.”

[metal cigarette lighter followed by deep breaths and 48 seconds of silence]

“How are you, anyway?”
“I’m fine. Look, what do you have? I need to get back.”
“Of course. I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to be sorry, really. Everything’s fine.”
“Are we going to see each other again? I need to know.”
“I’m not sure. I think so.”
“Right.”

[long pause, inaudible mumbling]

“I want to.”
“I want to too.”
“So.”
“Yeah. I was told this a while back, but it’s firmed up in the past week.”
“What?”
“You know Rare?”
“Yes, I know Rare. Come on.”
“I’m sorry.”
“God.”
“OK. Rare’s been turned over pretty much entirely to Natal, right?”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“What are they doing?”
“I don’t know exactly.”
“This is great.”
“Hang on.”
“All right.”
“I don’t know the name of the main game, but I do know what it is.”
“I’m all ears.”
“It’s a fitness game for Natal. Like Microsoft’s version of Wii Fit.”
“You’re sure.”
“Sure I’m sure. They’ve been working on it for a good while. There’s something else there you can probably guess at, but we’ll save that for another day. Don’t want you dumping me, do we?”
“I’ll ask Microsoft.”
“I already did. No comment.”
“A launch thing?”
“I don’t know, but you’d think.”
“E3?”

[sighing]

“Well, that’s good. Here.”
“Thanks.”
“Come on. I’ll buy you an ice cream.”
“I’d like that.”

[footfalls, increased sound of waves. talking with ice cream-seller. both have "99’s" with strawberry sauce.]

“I went to the doctor today.”

Breaking news

35 Comments

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  1. Psychotext

    Pat has finally snapped.

    (oh, and I don’t think anyone saw this particular game idea coming…)

    #1 5 years ago
  2. BabyJesus

    I enjoyed that story more than MW2′s.

    #2 5 years ago
  3. mescalineeyes

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    fucking BRILLIANT.

    #3 5 years ago
  4. NiceFellow

    err… and D’oh, would suffice to respond to this I think.

    #4 5 years ago
  5. mington

    i hope they make some goldeneye mini games

    like oddjob karate chop: fend of a swarm of midgets in hats with karate chops

    Shin gliding: i don’t really know what this would entail, but i just really want to see shin gliding in a game again

    #5 5 years ago
  6. Bringit

    Okay, Pat’s lost the plot.

    Not a surprise Microsoft is working on a fitness game. Not a surprise at all. Rare doing it is a bit of a surprise, but I guess with it’ll use their avatars.

    #6 5 years ago
  7. Quiiick

    A fitness game for Natal?
    Now that’s surprising. Completely out of left field.

    #7 5 years ago
  8. Johnny Cullen

    Classic. XD :D

    #8 5 years ago
  9. SniperWolf

    so many potentials lost
    bsh M$ please let Rare do whatever they want to do

    #9 5 years ago
  10. mington

    shin gliding should be an Olympic sport

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao_eegEPgKM

    #10 5 years ago
  11. daytripper

    Now theres a sack for sore eyes – 40g

    wave your scrotal area in front of the camera for 35 seconds

    #11 5 years ago
  12. SplatteredHouse

    Rare making this would neither surprise nor interest me. Unlike Pat’s reporting of it. Do you think if you wrote someone’s response out in a play like that, you’d have just found the perfect workaround for dodging NDA shackles, on your sources? Try it next time you interview a big-wig. :)

    #12 5 years ago
  13. Zarckan

    I never saw that coming :O

    No wait, I did, and so did the rest of the world!

    #13 5 years ago
  14. polygem

    for fitness go to a swimming pool or put on your running sneakers…fitness games wont make you fit. they just waste your time. they are a marketing lie…yoga games for example…it is impossible to do yoga with a videogame as medium…if yoga is presented in a videogame it´s not yoga anymore because yoga is all about a spiritual experience…might be aerobics or so…i will only play a fitness videogame when it brings me something like a real swimming pool with at least 25 meter lanes in my living room…

    #14 5 years ago
  15. mington

    Memories
    Light the corners of my mind
    Misty watercolor memories
    Of the way we were
    Scattered pictures
    Of the smiles we left behind
    Smiles we gave to one another
    For the way we were
    Can it be that it was all so simple then

    #15 5 years ago
  16. Blerk

    I need to know what happens next!

    #16 5 years ago
  17. mojo

    genious.

    would love to see more “story-driven” news here :D

    #17 5 years ago
  18. evilashchris

    Brilliant Pat :D

    #18 5 years ago
  19. deftangel

    Strange, I can’t imagine that going down well at EA Sports Active towers. Peter will be upset!

    #19 5 years ago
  20. Gheritt White

    *ghasp* :-o

    #20 5 years ago
  21. Dannybuoy

    Really painted a scene in my mind.. You been on a creative writing course? Oooh a 99 with strawberry sauce… roll on the summer!

    #21 5 years ago
  22. Eregol

    And all of a sudden, everyone’s pre-conceptions of Natal have been vindicated.

    #22 5 years ago
  23. Roybott

    Fantastic :D

    (nice way to extend a one line news story to something entertaining and long :))

    #23 5 years ago
  24. onlineatron

    Is Microsoft that dumb?

    Are the public going to invest in a another fitness game, and peripheral, despite most growing tired of Wii Fit within the first few weeks of having it?

    I don’t think Microsoft are silly enough to go down the same route of Nintendo and alienate it’s core audience… That will be Sony’s job (Y)

    #24 5 years ago
  25. Psychotext

    “Are the public going to invest in a another fitness game, and peripheral, despite most growing tired of Wii Fit within the first few weeks of having it?”

    Yeah, the sales of Wii Fit Plus clearly show that people get bored of buying fitness shit almost instantly. In reality, people like nothing more than buying whatever random fitness fad item is available so they can feel good about themselves for two minutes before never using it again.

    #25 5 years ago
  26. Len

    Surely they should have had a flake…? Or are we assuming because it’s a 99 it already has a flake and the sauce is extra. If so, I’m happy…

    As for Rare and Natal, oh how the mighty have fallen.

    #26 5 years ago
  27. Michael O’Connor

    Well, that was… different.

    #27 5 years ago
  28. Redh3lix

    Very last sentence had me in stiches. :D

    #28 5 years ago
  29. The Hindle

    Wow Pats lost it confirmed and this doesnt suprise me one bit will it succeed though

    #29 5 years ago
  30. Bulk Slash

    I might consider this if it’s called “Conkers Bad Fitness Day” and he swears at you while you exercise….

    #30 5 years ago
  31. [TD]

    Best news post ever.

    #31 5 years ago
  32. onlineatron

    Thinking about it this could relate to the news of MS Avatar fitness patent thing that would show you as a fat avatar if you weren’t fit.

    Especially seeing as RARE designed the Avatars.

    #32 5 years ago
  33. Psychotext

    Sweaty, greasy, spotty avatar. :D

    #33 5 years ago
  34. onlineatron

    My Avatar would have Syphilis….

    Wait, forget I said anything.

    #34 5 years ago
  35. Blerk

    Wasn’t there a rumour doing the rounds just before Christmas that Microsoft were doing something that would make you avatar resemble you more closely? That could well be tied into this – input your height and weight and your avatar becomes a realistic fatty.

    #35 5 years ago