Sun, Jan 10, 2010 | 19:44 GMT

FFXIII is “biggest swindle in gaming history”

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A Hong Kong magazine has given FFXIII a 4/10 review, saying the RPG is “so linear that it’s little more than riding an amusement park ride.”

The mag, scans of which can be seen on AllGamesBeta, takes the Square title to school with such ferocity it leaves it pissing its knickers at the gates. Then it takes is to college. Then university. Then it forces it to do a PhD in metallurgy.

Random quotes:

“The game is complete linearity until the open areas near the end. You can’t even backtrack.”

“Of all the RPGs I’ve played in recent years, this is the first which has been so linear that it’s little more than riding an amusement park ride.”

“I had heard the opinion that, ‘It’s amazing once you get to Chapter 11,’ but why should you spend 20 or 30 hours on a game to get to the only enjoyable part? Just how do they intend to make me play this? Do they think I’m some kind of masochist?”

“A button-mashing puzzle game with no real strategy or RPG elements and a plethora of annoying features, game as a whole is little more than a digital novel of sorts.”

“For such a game to approach 2 million copies sold must be due solely to the strength of the Final Fantasy brand.”

“Biggest swindle in gaming history.”

“Biggest joke of 2009.”

The biggest swindle in gaming history. Some won’t be pleased.

Here’s the verdict:

Scenario: 2.0 — “An epic tear jerker”

System: 1.0 — “Such a crude system barely warrants being called an RPG at all.”

Graphics: 9.0 — “Full marks here.”

Sound: 7.0 — “Mostly quality.”

Enthusiasm: 1.0 “As if you could play this for 100 hours! I could put up with 8.”

Total: 4.0 — “To think it got this bad…”

The game’s now out for PS3 in Japan. Americans and Europeans get it on March 9.

Via Kombo and Destructoid.

34 comments

#1

Grimrita
10/01/10, 7:32 pm

well its not the first and wont be the last

#2

Psychotext
10/01/10, 7:36 pm

Ouch

#3

SunKing
10/01/10, 7:41 pm

lol, Pat. Nice post. :)

#4

Johnny Cullen
10/01/10, 7:42 pm

Dr. Cox says they are wrong.

#5

Crazyreyn
10/01/10, 7:51 pm

I like how 9.0 equals full marks.

#6

Kai
10/01/10, 7:53 pm

It’s funny how no one really has heard about that magazine until now. At least there won’t be any confusion when it comes to what magazine will be lining my bird’s cage.

#7

Alakratt
10/01/10, 7:56 pm

FFXIII is the end result of all of you who criticized FFXII. Its battle system was basically programming (I’m a programmer so I know) and if you weren’t smart, then you sucked. Apparently those same people praised the dumbed down linear FFX and Square took noticed and this is what we got.

So in other words, you “fans” of FFX are the ones that made this happen! An RPG shouldn’t be linear, we have action and adventure games for that (even though they are slowly becoming more open). FFXV (if it gets made) should be handled by the FFXII team, not by the dumbasses who made this shit. I really hope this game fails in the West so that SE learns the hard way to stop making subpar quality RPGs in this gen.

#8

freedoms_stain
10/01/10, 8:14 pm

I was execting the usual “buy it” line at the bottom despite the absolute ripping :p

#9

Uncontested
10/01/10, 8:40 pm

This isnt the first group ripping the game.. I’ve heard nothing but bad with the exception of the graphics.. definitely not buying till i see a good number of user reviews

#10

DarkElfa
10/01/10, 8:41 pm

Hopefully this will end this over winded franchise, at least for a few years or more.

#11

Psychotext
10/01/10, 8:42 pm

It might end it in the West DarkElfa, nothing could touch it in Japan.

#12

SunKing
10/01/10, 8:43 pm

God, if it’s anything close to FFX’s Sphere Grid then I’m going to give it a pass. Hated that thing.

#13

Gekidami
10/01/10, 9:08 pm

To be fair it looks like the reviewer didnt play the game till the end, infact it looks like he never got passed the infamous ’20 hour tutorial’.
Though i have to agree that having the game only really get interesting after round 20 hours of play is criminal, i can imagine alot of people not being patient enought to go that far and packing it in with a bad impression.

#14

Eregol
10/01/10, 9:29 pm

Now, I loved FFX’s sphere grid. Quite enjoyed trying to get my characters round the entire thing, but obviously, never quite managing it.

#15

AHA-Lambda
10/01/10, 9:39 pm

WOW! I’ve never heard such venom for something from such a well respected franchise. Sounds square really dropped the ball on this totally. Ouch :O

#16

DarkElfa
10/01/10, 10:05 pm

It’s a well respected franchise that’s gone down hill since #7.

#17

DaMan
10/01/10, 10:38 pm

8 was okay, had some nice gameplay elements too. Square generally went downhill since 1999 anyway(their last actually good games were Vagrant Story and Chrono Cross, the latter could’ve been as good as Trigger, Xg and FF 6/7 if they spent as much time on the battle system as they did on graphics).

#18

Blerk
10/01/10, 11:02 pm

I’m interested to see how the Western reviews go. Traditionally FF games have gotten a ‘free ride’ just because they’re FF, with many of the gripes and irritations swept to footnotes because “it’s FF, ffs!”. However… I get a weird feeling that the honeymoon’s over… especially now that it’s multiplatform and the PS mags don’t need to blow it out of all proportions just to get one over on the competition.

#19

Dr.Ghettoblaster
10/01/10, 11:09 pm

Well said above post Blerk. Man, if FF13 bombs, you can take your money to the bank that the FF7 remake project will take off…lol.

The reviews should be interesting based on the first two out of the gate being both negative, but regardless, still a definite purchase to experience in it’s entirety regardless of public/private opinion.

(I’m actually more looking forward to Heavy Rain personally;)

#20

Hunam
10/01/10, 11:11 pm

So they over pandered to the japanese gamers who hated FF12 and now it’s shit?

#21

OlderGamer
10/01/10, 11:14 pm

I think your right Blerk. Some very good points.

I bet, however that the collective MetaCritic goes easy of the game due the amount of money that Sqenx is libal to thro at said websites. I think the score will be more moderate then some maybe expecting. I am think mid 8s in most cases.

But there are legions out there just waiting to praise the game simply because it is another FF game. I wouldn’t expect it to tank too badly with reviews overall. Good or bad.

But if this game fails in the west. It may well mark the unoffical deathknell of JRPGs in west. I am still undecided if that will happen or not.

Personialy, I won’t be buying it.

#22

DaMan
10/01/10, 11:22 pm

even if it gets 7s on sites like IGN or Gamespot the NA (and European) sales will be high.

#23

Digital Forge
10/01/10, 11:27 pm

Ah Vagrant story (@17) Square’s long lost love child, probably one of my favourite games of the PlayStation era, out on PSN now as well I believe so is a shame to not see as many people talk about it.

#24

Hunam
10/01/10, 11:40 pm

What always annoys me is if something like this does fail it tends to be “The west no longer like JRPG’s’ rather than “Oh, the game must suck” then we miss out on all the good stuff.

#25

bugmenot
11/01/10, 12:20 am

so an unknown chinese publication(outside of china) with an unknown reputation is given headline news. Hard not to see this as sensationalism when this site would not have been quoted if they’d given a 7 or an 8. or maybe even a 6.
meaningless is what it is. I’ll wait for metacritic scores to weigh in before deciding. I would say i’ll wait for the Edge review but they have had their thunder stolen and will probably give it a 3 out of vengeance of being outdone by a lesser known site.

#26

Hunam
11/01/10, 12:22 am

Edge don’t give good games shit scores just because.

#27

bugmenot
11/01/10, 12:24 am

yeah i wasnt being entirely serious;) but you have to admit Edge are keen to live up to their name.

#28

Hunam
11/01/10, 12:27 am

A couple of reviewers might scoff at the overly hyped games but overall it’s fairly solid. Plus, we all know how it goes. A big game comes along, everyone refuses to hear anything negative. The game comes out, everyone decrees it the best ever and in 6 months time 50% of those people think actually, it was shit. See Oblivion, Bioshock.

#29

Eregol
11/01/10, 5:44 am

I liked Final Fantasy IX too.

#30

Hero of Canton
11/01/10, 8:29 am

@Blerk – no, this time it’ll be the Xbox mags blowing it out of proportion because it’s on ‘their’ format now. ;)

#31

Blerk
11/01/10, 8:51 am

It’ll certainly be amusing to see how Xboxers react. I’m kind of expecting a whole bunch of “wtf I went out and bought this on day one and it’s fucking shit you PS gamers are fucking morons it’s not even a fucking game it’s just a movie lol” posts. :-D

#32

dirigiblebill
11/01/10, 10:46 am

Gamasutra’s done a really thoughtful hands on. Definitely worth reading if you’re worried about the linearity/absence of towns/”20 hour tutorial”.

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/26643/Analysis_The_Conundrum_of_Final_Fantasy_XIII.php

#33

Phoenixblight
11/01/10, 4:28 pm

@32

Great read. From what I read, it seems like I will enjoy the game. I have always liked FFX linearity over the older games.

#34

marijnlems
11/01/10, 7:56 pm

#dirigiblebill

Thanks for the link! That really is a great article, and it went some way in making me understand the criticisms the game has received so far. Not nearly as worried now.

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