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DOWN BAD FOR XP BARS Helldivers 2 showed me how badly live service gamification has broken my brain
I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until Helldivers 2 showed me the light.
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DOWN 2 SUPER EARTH Why is Helldivers 2 so popular?
The team at Arrowhead may be familiar with magic, but they aren't wizards. So why on Super Earth is Helldivers 2 so popular?
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DO YOUR PART Loving Helldivers 2? You need to check out this 90s classic, then
Dive right in.
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JOIN THE WAR EFFORT Thanks to Helldivers 2, tricking normal people into role-playing has never been easier
For now it's fighting for democracy. I'll have these chumps playing wizards and making goblin sounds in 3 months max.
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SHRAP THE CHANGES Helldivers 2 devs taking "more time" to cook up its next weapon balancing patch, with an Eruptor revamp on many wishlists
Also, that spear tweak lots of folks have been after for a while looks like it'll be in the next big patch.
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NEW WAR, WHO DIS? After Helldivers 2 players come up short in latest Major Order, Arrowhead casually declares that "The Second Galactic War" is upon us
Everything up until now was apparently "merely an elaborate special operation". There's no satire going on here.
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SPAWN SWITCHUP Helldivers 2 devs plan to revamp enemy spawn rates again, as more baddies than intended continue to overwhelm folks
Things'll be going back to the way they were prior to a recent patch, possibly with a few tweaks.
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It's now PlayStation's fastest selling launch game ever. Numbers.
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TENDER CARE Helldivers 2 patch adds optional account linking to the game's settings and changes the Tenderizer's colour
Having a host leave your session should also now be less of a thing to worry about.
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STAR WARS TROOPERS Helldivers 2 Star Wars mod will let you and your nerdy mates do some Clone Wars roleplaying while you kill bugs
Also, here's a mod that'll let you enlist Master Chief into Super Earth service.
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CLOSE CALL Helldivers 2 is everyone's favourite live-service game right now, but it almost wasn't one
Arrowhead clearly made the right call in the end.
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SUCKER PANICKING The Helldivers 2 PSN account linking backlash was so bad, Ghost of Tsushima devs have to clarify PC players won't need to do it for single-player
Sometimes, gamer outrage can result in some good.
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GOOD ENDING Sony walks back PlayStation account requirement for Helldivers 2 following overwhelming community outrage
A good ending to the saga. The world can go back to defending Super Earth in peace.
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CHOICES WERE MADE Uh oh, Helldivers 2 has been pulled from sale on Steam in over 170 countries following its PSN controversy
This can only go down well.
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HELLBOMBING Helldivers 2 suffers Steam review bombing following controversial PSN account linking announcement
Yep, that's usually how people tell you they're not happy about a thing.
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ACCOUNT ANNOYANCE Helldivers 2 PC players will have to link their Steam accounts to PSN just to play soon, and it's, er, not going down too well
Sony says it's bringing the "grace period" to an end.
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COOL RELOADINGS Freeze, Helldivers 2's next Warbond is dropping soon, and the new guns and gear in it look pretty cool
Get ready to dress up like a Polar Patriot, and probably look really out of place on desert planets.
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Sure, you might be a bit sad that it doesn't feature the big fixes you're waiting on, but two patches in one week is pretty impressive work.
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CULPRIT FOUND As it turns out, Helldivers 2's self-killing spike has been due to shrapnel, not ricochets - don't worry, a fix is coming
Your streak of equally hilarious and frustrating insta-deaths should come to an end soon.
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WRONG TANGO DOWN Helldivers 2's latest update comes under fire for ricochet changes, as players can't stop shooting themselves
The jury looks to still be out as to how exactly the change plays into this sudden spike in inadvertent self-democratisings, but folks certainly aren't happy.
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JUST A FEW CHANGES Helldivers 2's huge latest patch tweaks 24 weapons and stratagems - and lets you spread democracy at higher difficulties
Also, victory poses will now only play for the extracted, so RIP to celebrating someone else's carry job.
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NOT ROCKET SCIENCE Helldivers 2's latest Major Order forces players to choose between two weapons, and yup, the rocket launcher looks to be winning early
Sorry man, it's a rocket launcher, what are you gonna do?
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That said, folks reckon Arrowhead might well actually find a way to cheekily make their lives even more difficult.
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KLUTCH KILLING Helldivers 2's latest Major Order looked a lost cause for days, but the battle has come down to one planet
The defense of Ustotu is on, and it might end up being a close-run thing.
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AUTOMAT-OLYMPICS Helldivers 2's latest order might be a bit of a struggle, but at least players have discovered a new Olympic sport - Factory Strider parkour
Hey, if you're gonna get court martialed for making weapon suggestions, why not find a different hobby?
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TEAMWORK TROUBLE Chill out, Helldivers 2 hardcores trying to get casual players to stick to the battle plan, Arrowhead's doing what it can to help out
"Short of handing you the win, there isn't a lot more we can do."
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Democracy's waited, and now it should be back on track!
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BOP TO THE TOP What's next for Helldivers 2? Making it "the best live service game you've ever played"
"We just need to find our stride and balance."
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NUMBER OF THE BUGS-T Helldivers 2 players have managed to kill two billion Terminids so quickly that people are, er, actually trying to do maths
Hang on, let me get my bug-squishing abacus out and ring the guy who used to give me detention.
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BATTLING FOR BALANCE Chill out, Helldivers 2 players calling for fixes over new stuff, Arrowhead's "figuring it out" and plans to do a better job of delivering both
Your feedback's valuable, but maybe draw the line when you start to sound like a backseat dev, yeah?
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GROUND NOT BROKEN Good news, Helldivers 2's latest patch ensures the Ground Breaker armour's no longer a victim of accidental false advertising
Given all you go through to earn those samples and requisitions, being able to avoid buyer's remorse is pretty important.
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DISCO INFERNO Arrowhead knows how "ridiculous" Helldivers 2's fire damage is, working on a fix
Someone turned the thermostat up too high.
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BREAK THE BOX BANK Helldivers 2 just got new ship modules and one will, er, let you pay a lot to teach your crew to pack boxes
Hey, you never know when the ability to stick things in a container well might come in handy.
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I mean, I get the idea of trying to get your enemies to turn on each other, but odds are they'll just somehow make robo-bugs.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Helldivers 2's intro just got a new behind the scenes look, and yes, there's a goofy close up of the guy screaming as his family gets murdered
To be fair, I think that's how I'd react if the Terminids rolled up on my idyllic neighbourhood.
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BOTS BACK Don’t worry, your precious Helldivers 2 platinum trophy is now achievable again after all - probably
The bots are back, baby!
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Just make sure you avoid picking up the "rogue item" that apparently isn't supposed to be on offer from the Ship Management menu.
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THE PRICE OF FREEDOM Helldivers 2 players did a good job taking down the Automatons, but now the game is technically impossible to Platinum
Does this make the return of the bots all the more inevitable?
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The battle against the bugs is back on for now, but who knows what the future holds.
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BOOM BOOM BOOM New Helldivers 2 Warbond arrives next week, includes explosive crossbow you'll blow yourself up with
Look, don’t worry about it, your teammates’ll get a laugh and it shouldn't lose us the war.
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Also, there's another fresh patch for you to quickly grab, in order to avoid a crash introduced by, er, yesterday's patch.
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DARUDE NOT TO As yet another Malevelon Creek campaign begins, Helldivers 2's latest patch adds in blizzards and sandstorms
The April Fools’ day assault was a success, but things never stay the same for long in space, cue lots more balancing.
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COMING HOME TROOST As the assault on Troost begins, Helldivers 2's massive new Quasar Cannon is earning pretty stellar reviews
It's big, it's bad, it could probably one shot your Dad, and the machine gun looks decent-ish too.
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Pesky crashes have suspended your right to party without issues in the galaxy's winter wonderlands.
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Also, we might be getting Gatling guns too, if Arrowhead can figure out some "cool mechanics" to give them.
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I'M ALSO CONFUSED UPDATE: After hours of preparing to fail Helldivers 2's latest major order, it seems like players are getting conflicting reports as to whether they actually have
What's going on? Who knows.
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UNFREEZE, SPACE SCUM Yay, a fresh Helldivers 2 patch is coming soon to fix freezes, here are some guns to avoid using until it does
You need a hero, and Arrowhead's on its way.
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MISS-I'VE MESSED UP UPDATE: Sadly, Helldivers 2's mechs still aren't idiot proof, and lots of crashes have followed the latest patch
But hey, at least those friend request issues look to have been sorted for a lot of folks.
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DIFFICULT TIME Been stuck on the same Helldivers 2 difficulty for ages? Well, you should be free soon, if you aren't already
The late winter/early spring of difficulty level three.
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EXO-BARRASING Nice, Helldivers 2's latest patch stops you from accidently destroying your own mech with a stray missile
You need no longer fear the fatal Exosuit three-point turn, and yes, Arrowhead's working on those cross-play friend invite issues.
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STARSHIP DUPER Helldivers 2 isn't the only Unofficial Movie Adaptation in gaming, but it might be the best one
Stop pretending that Deadly Premonition is good on any level.
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BEAM SCHEME? Helldivers 2 players have nearly secured Draupnir, but they reckon it may be the calm before a blue beam storm
There’s seemingly always a new threat on the Horizon for Super Earth, even when things are going fine.
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A LOT OF DEMOCRACY Helldivers 2 is selling "well ahead of expectations" having potentially hit 8 million in sales
That sounds about right.
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SPACE EARTH SAVIOUR There's a Helldivers 2 expert helping to save the galaxy by playing rock, paper, scissors with newbies
To be fair, I might start trying that as an alternative to awkward silence the next time I’m playing online with randoms.