‘Starfield as a replacement for Halo Infinite this holiday season’ – is this the worst take on Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda?

By Matt Martin
22 September 2020 09:11 GMT

There have been some howlingly bad opinions on the acquisition of Bethesda by Microsoft, but the assertion that Starfield will act as a replacement for Halo Infinite this holiday season, is perhaps the most clueless we’ve come across.

We understand the need to sound relevant, to convince people you understand the business and have an authoritative voice in the sea of bullshit that follows earth-shattering news like this, but some data analysts seem to lack the common sense to even use the internet in its most rudimentary way.

“Microsoft will offer Bethesda’s Starfield as a replacement for Halo Infinite, which was developed in-house but postponed to 2021 due to COVID-19,” wrote an associate project manager for Thematic Research at GlobalData in an email currently stinking up my inbox.

“The game should boost the appeal for the Xbox Series X and Series S consoles during the holiday season.”

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Seemingly unable to type “Starfield release date” into Google, GlobalData is assuming Starfield, a game that was only teased in 2018 after years of rumour, and according to Bethesda’s Todd Howard is only in pre-production, is actually going to be out in a few months.

“Zenimax titles such as Wolfenstein, Doom, Quake, Prey and Dishonored will compete with PS5 exclusives such as Spider-Man: Miles Morales, Gran Turismo 7 and Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart,” adds the galaxy brain email.

I mean, there’s some sense there in the fact that those Bethesda titles now become Microsoft’s for the Xbox and PC, but there are no games publicly announced in those franchises and are not likely to be out anytime soon. So not exactly competing, hey?

According to GlobalData, 4,000 of the world’s largest companies “make more timely and better business decisions thanks to GlobalData’s unique data”. If you’re one of those 4,000 companies, good luck with that latest research. The truly tragic thing is the analysts at GlobalData probably earn five times your salary and enjoy yachting holidays every other weekend.

Please, think before you deliver your hot take. Better yet, just don’t. We don’t need another dumbass opinion, the world is already cluttered up with them.

Lord, give me the confidence and creativity of a video game data analyst.

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