The Monster Army residents of Colorado’s premier mall have a good thing going, but nothing lasts forever. As soon as you walk through the door you’re greeted by an explosive pig, and things are only going to get worse from here.
Back in The Bizarre, speak to Simon the Squatch next to the front door, and he’ll tell you about the Monster Army’s problems.
He directs you to Flab at the back, up the stairs. Talk to him and he’ll let on that things aren’t exactly stable in the Monster Army’s territory, with the once powerful gang approaching its last legs.
Accept his request for help and the job reward is a skill book and $666. Ask for some details and if you fought the Payasos outside, you’ll be able to advance the quest objective straight away.
Wasteland 3 Nightmare in the Bizarre quest
Head over to the east side of the bar and you can interact with the scene transition there to enter the Warrens. Be sure to stock up on healing items and ammo from the stores before you leave – don’t forget like I did…
Down in the Warrens, you’ll meet Gywnplaine in front of the pig pens. You can grab a pig as your animal companion if you like – they’re pretty good if you’re between friends.
Further into the room you’ll meet DJ RIP. Say you’re there for the giveaway and you’ll get a rep point. Say you’re the rangers and your fame will increase.
The first question is a reference to the original Ghostbusters – which did come out in 1984. Say you believe and he’ll give you some money and a rare junk item. Say you don’t and you’ll get a Sonic Emitter and more money.
Finally, speak to Frank E Steen in the far corner of the room to advance.
Inside the tunnels, you’ll start to come up against Waste Wormlings. They have low armour so go down quickly, but you still don’t want to mess with them. Search the back of the truck on your right before advancing down to the left. One dropped the dragon hood ornament for me.
Follow the path around until you reach a door and you’ll be in Payaso territory. To kick things off, go around to the left and disarm the alarm. This leads to a path with a computer at the end. You need a limerick to enter but all the answers are wrong, you need to kill the gangsters in the other room to get in there.
Place your party in cover out of the Payaso’s field of view, then fire off the first shot. The pigs don’t blow up if you kill them, so it’s not really worth focusing on them. They will however explode once they’re set on fire by the Payasos.
The Payasos will use smoke bombs to lower your hit chance against them, and watch out for the Payaso Bastards, because they hit hard.
After you’ve defeated them, you can pick up Limerick Note 1 from their corpses. “We’re the punchline for every joke.”
In front of you, if you defeated Dr Smiles in the Bizarre Exterior you can use storage unit 109 key to open one of the lockers.
Wasteland 3 Payaso Limerick notes
To get the final two Limerick notes, you need to clear out the rest of the Warrens of Payasos. And you have two options of where to go next. You can either take the path south, or in the top right of the room, near the roaming pigs, open the door and fix the generator with Mechanics 5. Boot up the computer and access the temperature controls to give you access to some Lockpicking 7 doors as well as another door leading south.
I’ll continue as if you took the path south, in case you don’t have a mechanic in your squad (which you should).
In the next tunnel, you can either sneak past the frost crawler, or take it on if you think you’re hard enough. If you do want to attack it, there’s plenty of cover to stack you characters behind before you fire the first shot. It’s not actually that hard, and you get some junk, a pre war silver coin, and some buried items for your trouble.
Around the corner you’ll see more Payasos, who you can get the jump on with an explosive barrel.
On the corpse is the key for unit 108 back in the central room, go back and grab the loot.
With them down place a character on the pad behind the wire fence to turn off the ice blast. Then you can move the rest of your characters through to the other side.
In the next diner is another load of Payasos. Defeat them in the usual fashion for Limerick Note 2.
Past the diner kitchen, you’ll follow another path towards the last band of Payasos in the playground. They have the note 3, so return to the computer.
The final line that you don’t have a note for is: “…is down your throats ’til you choke.”
Inside, you’ll find the boss – Ditso Gogo – and you have a tough fight ahead. It might be advantageous to make a quick-save here in case things go wrong.
As usual, position your party on the edge of their field of vision. Use cover to your advantage, and focus on killing one enemy at a time, or they’ll heal themselves and overwhelm your team.
I used grenades to start the party, then focused on Ditso to stop him from performing any funny business.
When that’s done, take the Safe key from the dead bodies, then go upstairs to the right and open said safe. Inside is the unit 107 key, which opens another door in the main room. If it’s still frozen, you need to thaw it by fixing in the generator and using the terminal in the room on your right.
Go there and there’s a man inside: the Provost. He’s a special companion that only speaks latin proverbs. He’ll follow you around and help out in battle.
Don’t worry about the other Lockpick 7 door if you haven’t opened it – it’s used in a later quest.
Now return through the Safe Warrens to Flab. Tell him that the Warrens are clear and he’ll give you a 20% discount at all the merchants’ shops.
Considering the ammo and medical supplies on offer it’s super worth it, plus you’ll get a load of cash and a Hard Ass Skill Book.
After this quest, you’ll be offered another – Very Hostile Takeover – the next time you go into the Colorado world map. Which you must do next if you don’t want everyone in the Bizarre to die!
Since your HQ is probably now fully stocked, it’s time to take on Valor Buchanan in The Zealot quest.