Here’s how Amazon, Fedex, and more would deliver parcels in Death Stranding

By Cian Maher, Monday, 27 July 2020 15:56 GMT

Have you ever wondered how real-life couriers would go about traversing the rugged terrain of the UCA? If so, here’s how Amazon, Fedex, and other couriers wold deliver parcels in Death Stranding.

A Reddit user who goes by the name wasky2f took it upon themselves to assess how real-life courier companies would perform in Death Stranding’s post-apocalyptic postal service. Now, I know Sam is supposed to be working for BRIDGES, but there’s nothing wrong with a nixer every now and then. BRIDGES is going to have to start upping its rates if it wants to keep the Legend of Legends on its rota.

Anyway, check out the Reddit video below, which shows Sam’s trial runs for Amazon, Fedex, DHL, SDA, and Poste Italiane. I think he nailed them all, to be honest, but you can draw your own conclusions.

how couriers deliver parcels from DeathStranding

So, Amazon first. Nice and handy first gig for Sam, who’s listening to Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra as he drops off the parcel in front of the BRIDGES facility. That’s an S-rank, I reckon.

Next up is Fedex. Sam is running out of time, now, and still has his Fedex run plus three more trials, so he just sort of chucks the parcel at the entrance and legs it off. Minimal damage, unless it’s something really fragile (but not that fragile).

Fedex done and dusted, it’s DHL time. I think this is an ideal delivery if you’re delivering to someone you don’t like very much, like the Elder who won’t join the chiral network because he thinks 5G is attracting aliens. Throw the parcel at the entrance and then give it a good whack of a hematic grenade to bust it up a bit. Sorry, Elder, it was the Timefall, I swear. (Speaking of hematic grenades, how does Sam even make them when he canonically has no penis?)

SDA is another kettle of fish. Sam actually runs over the parcel and completely destroys it. No money for you Sam, and you’ve not got the job. By the time he does his final trial for Poste Italiane, he’s just flat out burgling the parcels. He gets to the door and thinks, “actually, maybe I’d like these metals for myself,” and Usain Bolts it straight out of the facility and into the mountains.

Which delivery do you reckon was Sam’s best? Again, I’m a fan of the DHL one. Just the right amount of tampering to really piss somebody off. A masterclass in intentional fuckery.

 

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