The games of 2018 reviewed in the form of haiku

By Kirk McKeand, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 09:15 GMT

It’s almost the end of the year and now we are out of words. There are none left. All the words are gone.

Because of this, we needed something to get the creative juices flowing again. What better way to do that then to review the games of 2018 in the form of a haiku? Exactly. It makes complete sense.

So come with us as we haiku-review some of the most notable games of the year.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

Swinging through New York

A friendly neighbourhood man

Collecting backpacks

Here’s our proper Marvel’s Spider-Man review.

Fallout 76

Just made my first base

On the edge of a steep cliff

Spawn in the abyss

Here’s our Fallout 76 review roundup.

Battlefield 5

Many brave soldiers

Lost their lives in this conflict

Now let’s bling our guns

Since you’re here, check out our Battlefield 5 review.

Red Dead Redemption 2

A bittersweet tale

Just some outlaws on the run

Straight into a tree

Here’s our Red Dead Redemption 2 review.

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey

This has a mission

Where you can shag someone’s dad

And murder their mum

Have a look at our proper Assassin’s Creed Odyssey review.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 4

A polished shooter

Now with a battle royale

No single-player

Here’s a review roundup for Black Ops 4.

Shadow of the Tomb Raider

Underwater stealth

And terrible voice acting

Is bad for your health

Find out why in our Shadow of the Tomb Raider review.

Forza Horizon 4

English countryside

Every season comes and goes

Look, it’s Master Chief

Read all about Xbox One’s best exclusive in our Forza Horizon 4 review.

Hitman 2

Hitman 2

Homing breifcases

Slap that head with a huge fish

Great work, 47

Our Hitman 2 review tells you why you should care about this sharp sequel.

Agony

A dev tried too hard

Hell isn’t vagina beasts

Hell is playing this

Overcooked 2

I love you, my son

But if you burn it again

Boarding school awaits

God of War

A sad demigod

Takes his boy to scatter ash

On a mountaintop

Check out our God of War review here.

UFC 3

Hitting and rolling

Until someone is knocked out

Oh fuck, it’s Bruce Lee

Shadow of the Colossus

A majestic beast

A loved one’s eternal rest

The tears keep falling

Kingdom Come Deliverance

Problematic dev

Simulating the old ways

Pockets filled with leek

Here’s our Kingdom Come: Deliverance review roundup.

Metal Gear Survive

A gaming classic

Now about shooting zombies

Crystals on their heads

A Way Out

No single-player

Fuck the Oscars. QTEs

Flawed, but worth a pop

Dragon Ball FighterZ

Anime fighting

Punches like atomic bombs

So many Gokus

Far Cry 5

Religious cultists

Take hold of rural US

Guns are the answer

Here’s our Far Cry 5 review.

Yakuza 6

Sing karaoke

Carrying a small human

What is going on

Alex has you covered in our Yakuza 6 review.

State of Decay 2

Zombies all around

But I’m stuck inside a wall

Death, the sweet release

Sea of Thieves

I’m a proud pirate

Sorry for being sick on you

Please don’t lock the brig

Have a jolly old time with the VG247 Sea of Thieves review.

Detroit Become Human

Domestic abuse

A likeable android twink

Is this racism

Sam Greer gives you the lowdown in our Detroit: Become Human review.

Vampyr

Please, just stop talking

I just want to drink your blood

Combat is quite bad

Monster Hunter World – Alex

Animal cruelty

Crush that majestic creature

But we love our cats

Resident beast butcher Alex gives you his thoughts in our Monster Hunter World review.

Dissidia Final Fantasy NT – Alex

Online deserted

Fan-service alone no good

A weak birthday gift

Nintendo Labo – Alex

Glorious cardboard

Screams as sixty quid toy cons

Eaten by the dog

Street Fighter 5 Arcade Edition – Alex

Solo modes at last

Of course you’re still not happy

But this game is good

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