Google, not now.
I have a stack of news to write and chores to do before The Game Awards today, not to mention all the excitement of the show, PlayStation Experience tomorrow, and a stack of looming deadlines – but does Google respect my time? No.
Ignoring its own motto of “don’t be evil”, Google has completely scuppered my productivity by releasing a puzzle game called Present Bounce on its Santa Tracker page. This Christmas-themed affair plays a lot like The Impossible Machine, and if you know what that is you already know we’re in trouble.
If you have anything you need to do today I strongly urge you not to click that link. Don’t engage with these simple but increasingly fiendish puzzles. Don’t drag and drop machine parts around the field in your quest to deliver presents to the children of those bits of the world where Santa is a thing. Don’t push the friendly green buttons. Don’t hum along to the jaunty little Christmas tune.
It is too late for me, my friends, but you can still save yourselves. Be strong.