Many Pokemon Go Pokestops encourage players to get to know the most delightful locations in their city. And then there’s these ones.
Did you know? The majority of Pokemon Go’s Pokestops weren’t planted by Niantic based on points of interest or population centre: a lot of them were plonked down by Ingress players wherever they found something of note, a location convenient to their daily routine, or just an opportunity to troll.
There was a submission approval process but like most of these systems it was pretty hit and miss, with the result that some Pokestops are not exactly the community-building, artistic, educational hubs which Nintendo and Niantic probably had in mind. Now that the enormous Pokemon Go population has figured out how to request Pokestops, things are getting even weirder.
Below you’ll find a collection of weird, funny and most frequently just plain shitty Pokestops spotted in the wild, mostly by members of Reddit’s /r/ShittyPokestops. Pokemon Go, eh? Amazing.
Saint Teresa’s Rear Exit
Found by PlariB
Rear Exit. Get it. It’s a bumhole! And double funny because the saint in question is a woman! Why, this is right up there with all those “try but hole” messages in Dark Souls. What a funny and inventive lot we video gamers are, am I right? Just world-class witticisms.
Actually this one got a smirk out of us. It also managed to be both dirty and unlikely to be picked up on the many kids who play Pokemon Go, which is worth a few bonus points.
Found by jonginn
This one has been carelessly imported directly from Ingress; the description directly references its lore and in-game concepts.
Also: it’s a really shitty penguin. It’ll probably turn up in the next Pokemon as a starter, alongside an iron with a face and a packet of chips wearing a hat.
Unknown discoverer; from Imgur.
Ah, yes, well: there’s this American retail chain called Dick’s, you see, and at some point in time some civic authority and outlet owner agreed they could really class up the joint by erecting some sort of monumental ball.
Perhaps they didn’t even think of it, in that refreshingly non-ironic naivety American authorities often display. Or perhaps they did it consciously. In any case: snigger away as you refresh your Pokemon Go supplies.
Art of a Cool Man
Found by Brandonlikesdo
This Pokestop is called “I am so Cool” and the description is “Art of a cool man”. Now, Pokestops that guide us to local street art are really great, but if I went wandering out of my way looking for graffiti and found this bloke I’d be pretty disappointed.
I feel like there’s a story here. Whoever created this Pokestop bears resentment in their heart – against the artist or the subject of the portrait – and it has manifest in the world as a deeply sarcastic description in a Pokemon Go entry.
Church of Sweden
Found by Mallow516
So it’s the Church of Sweden. So what? Is that inherently funny? Is there something intrinsically funny about Swedes? Have you got a problem with Sweden, mate?
No, what makes this one special is the creator’s conjecture that the worship of the congregation is directed at actor Dolph Lundgren, arguably Sweden’s most valuable export. I’m so glad Pokemon Go could alert locals to the spiritual opportunities in the neighbourhood.
Study of Phallus in Bronze
Found by OmG_iTs_PhiL
Unless somebody tracks this down and checks the plaque, we have only the Pokestop creator’s word for it that this sculpture does, indeed, represent the human phallus – or indeed that it is made of bronze.
It’s nice of the creator to go for “phallus” rather than “dick” or whatever, though. Again, kids play Pokemon Go. Any eight year old who doesn’t see a poop here is missing a trick in my opinion.
Found by acav802
I mean, possibly it’s a sign marking a poultry shop of some kind. That’s probably what it is. And yet that can’t be obvious, because someone, somewhere, is so bemused and enchanted by this sign that they have dubbed it “wall chicken” and determined it is worthy enough of note to be shared with the world.
It may be an illusion, but the angle of this photo makes it look like it’s rather high up and difficult to see. Maybe this is more mysterious than we think. Maybe Pokemon Go players will discover a portal to a chicken dimension.
Target Parking Lot
Found by pyreticpeepsta
Okay so two things. One, someone though the carpark at Target was worthy of flagging. Two, they then felt the need to explain that the Pokestop called Target Parking Lot is the parking lot at Target.
You have to believe it was done as a joke. Surely nobody is this deeply uninteresting. Pokemon Go won’t be enough to help this person’s social issues.
Taco Bell Mural
Found by zachquack
From the same school of thought that gave us “Target Parking Lot” comes this artwork at a Taco Bell. I bet people came from miles around to see it even before Pokemon Go. I bet it’s mentioned in this city’s Lonely Planet guide. I bet people stumbling in at hangover o’clock for some fast food fall to their knees and exclaim with wonder and delight at first sight.
It’s not even technically a mural; it’s in a frame! It’s hanging there! Someone framed this and ordered it and hundreds of identical copies be stuck on walls around the country – and they thought they were doing good. This will not come as a surprise to anybody who has ever worked in a chain restaurant.
Found by Mojosaur
It’s a little wooden train, apparently in some sort of park. It looks like the sort of thing you find teenagers furtively smoking pot behind, or whatever it is teenagers do in parks at night these days – crystal meth, probably. You wouldn’t want to let your kids into it, because they’d come out covered in cigarette ash and used condoms.
I bet you’re glad you came out of your way to view this splendid monument to faded civic feeling, aren’t you. Get out of here before you get arrested or offered some drugs.
Owl is Watching You
Found by kan3m
“Owl is watching you.” Okay, fine. Creepy, but fine. Owls have big eyes, they see well in the dark. They’re still just big old birds. I don’t care. Watch away, owl.
“Owl is watching you being inappropriate.” That … I am less comfortable with.
Rest Your Leg
Found by Maxuranium
Speaking of inappropriate. This one is so close to being nice. There’s a lot of walking around in Pokemon Go, and not to pander to stereotype or anything but a lot of the people doing it aren’t used to it. Why not pause and take a load off while you change your battery or plug in your portable charging pack?
Do not be tempted to glance around in search of the tender heart looking for the sheltering arm of a great strong lover like yourself: you will be arrested.