Waiting for The Division

By Brenna Hillier, Friday, 4 March 2016 08:31 GMT

The Division comes out next week. If you divide that time in half, and then in half again, and then again, it becomes an eternity.

the_division

Mood Music

Gold Leaf (Hummed) from Transistor Original Soundtrack Extended
Supergiant Games 2014

Contact ERAGON_ROXXX_91 is online.

Impaler: oh hai
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: *waves*
Impaler: haven’t seen u in ages
Impaler: thought you’d got a life lol
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: lol
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: nah
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: jfc it’s a ghost town in here
Impaler: ikr
Impaler: like wtf
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: babies gotta go back to school
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: XD
Impaler: lol
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: srsly though
Impaler: idk there’s nothing happening
Impaler: Destiny’s dead
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: Far Cry Primal?
Impaler: no mp
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: wtf
Impaler: yah
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: guess everyone’s just waiting
Impaler: for The Division?
ERAGON_ROXXX_91: For The Division

the_division_prelaunch_2

Contact Company_Man is online.

Company_Man: What’s the haps, chaps
Company_Man: What’s keen, Mr Clean
Company_Man: How’s it hanging, orangutan-ging
100percentdone: christ please stop
Company_Man: Oh come on, it’s a beautiful morning
100percentdone: in YOUR timezone
100percentdone: in MY timezone
100percentdone: it’s 10 mins to quittin’ time and i’m so bored my brains hurt
Company_Man: Not a lot happening in the fast-paced world of video games media today?
100percentdone: today, this week, this month, this year, jesus what is my life
Company_Man: Do NOT get existential again. Haven’t you got reviews to work on?
100percentdone: reviews of what
Company_Man: Let me check the calendar
Company_Man: The Division?
100percentdone: lol
100percentdone: they’re not giving out code
Company_Man: What
100percentdone: no code till launch day
Company_Man: What
100percentdone: online game, innit
Company_Man: So what are we paying you for this week?
100percentdone: i donno, hey
100percentdone: chair spinning

Scene: A video game retailer, one week before the release of The Division.

Manager: Come one, come all
Manager: Buy our things
Manager: So many lovely things
Manager: See them all
Manager: Why there’s, there’s
Manager: Last summer’s sports game
Manager: And
Manager: Fallout 4’s season pass…!
Manager: Get ’em while they’re hot
Underling: Sir, I
Underling: I don’t think anybody’s coming
Manager: *sobs*
Manager: Go push The Division stand closer to the windows will you

the_division_cleaner

Contact biGGest_BRO is online.

Distress_Bacon: ahhh Jim
Distress_Bacon: JIM JIM JIM
Distress_Bacon: are u busy
Distress_Bacon: can u join my game
biGGest_BRO: man can you send like one message at a time
Distress_Bacon: sorry. can u join my game
biGGest_BRO: Netflix and chill man
Distress_Bacon: im really stuck in mission :S
biGGest_BRO: just not feeling it man sorry
Distress_Bacon: what happened to u
Distress_Bacon: u never play video games any more
Distress_Bacon: u never chat
biGGest_BRO: I’m trying to watch Netflix stop spamming me
Distress_Bacon: i srsly worry bout u
Distress_Bacon: u changed
biGGest_BRO: man what. What are you even playing. The Division isn’t out till next week. Shut up. Go away. Stop messaging till next week.
Distress_Bacon: :'(

Contact Extranal is online.

Extranal: hey man what’s up
Journ0thing: nothing, you
Extranal: nada
Extranal: I’m so bored of games lately
Extranal: Hey should I pre-order The Division?
Journ0thing: uhh
Journ0thing: do you want it
Extranal: I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you
Journ0thing: you don’t want it
Journ0thing: you want to take out your credit card and read me the number
Extranal: lol
Extranal: I thought maybe you’d played it
Journ0thing: I played the beta? I guess?
Extranal: Oh yeah me too
Journ0thing: So you’ve seen as much as I have
Extranal: But don’t you get it early?
Journ0thing: lol no
Journ0thing: it’s an online game
Journ0thing: so
Journ0thing: we don’t get shit
Extranal: so should I pre-order?
Journ0thing: why don’t you wait for reviews or whatever if you’re not sure
Extranal: I don’t want to miss out on pre-order bonuses
Extranal: And isn’t it an MMO??
Journ0thing: not really?
Journ0thing: but also
Journ0thing: so what?
Extranal: SO I don’t wanna be a scrub when everyone else is max level
Journ0thing: hmm
Extranal: What’s “hmm”?
Journ0thing: just hmm
Extranal: okay I’m gonna pre-order
Journ0thing: i know

the_division_prelaunch_1

Scene: The empty reaches at the end of the universe, where matter is sparse and perceptively thinning in the rush to expand the firmament.

GOD: HERE I AM
GOD: ALMIGHTY AND ALL-POWERFUL SUPREME BEING
GOD: AT THE END OF TIME AND SPACE
GOD: ALL OF THIS AND MORE IS MINE TO CONTROL
GOD: EVERYTHING BENDS TO MY WILL
GOD: TIME TO LISTEN TO SOME PRAYERS, SEE WHAT THE USELESS HUMANS WANT FROM ME NOW
Prayer: Can you please make The Division be out already?
GOD: SOME THINGS … ARE BEYOND EVEN MY POWER

While you wait – find a group to play The Division with via our partners at The100.io. It’s the perfect LFG solution.

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