Critical consensus is not the same as truth, but holy hell is the jury unanimous on Hitman: Agent 47.
The first Hitman film wasn’t, like, super bad, but it also wasn’t so good that Timothy Olyphant came back for another go in Hitman: Agent 47.
Well, don’t expect Rupert Friend to reprise the role, either, because Agent 47 is currently one of the worst-rated video game movies ever. And that’s in a genre dominated by Uwe “Tax Write Off” Boll, for goodness’ sake.
Gamespot compared this to both sites’ lists of video game movies and noticed that Agent 47 is tracking behind the majority of absolute bollocks that is the history of video game cinema.
On Rotten Tomatoes, only Alone in the Dark, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and Silent Hill: Revelation have lower ratings. Hitman: Agent 47 is out-performed by the Super Mario Bros. movie and Double Dragon.
Metacritic paints a brighter picture by digging up several really terrible movies to add to the list of things that are worse than Hitman: Agent 47, namely House of the Dead, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Bloodrayne and Postal.
Look, video game movies always take a thrashing from film critics, and of course cult and geek appeal doesn’t always track alongside the kind of standards applied to mainstream reviews. It’s entirely possible you love any number of the movies on this list, despite or in denial of their flaws, and Hitman: Agent 47 may be right up your alley.
Still: set your expectations low going in, eh? Bless video game cinema, right down to its little cotton socks.