GTA 5: the maddest, baddest, raddest comments banned from Rockstar Social Club

By Matt Martin, Monday, 20 July 2015 13:53 GMT

Hitler, casinos and Judge Dredd: wade through deleted comments and you’ll find some cool suggestions among the madness from the GTA Online community.

gta_online_ill_gotten_gains_2_header

“Don’t read the comments,” they say. But someone has to. Describing comments sections on the internet as The Apocalypse is an understatement. You don’t need me to tell you this. Comments sections are where Immortan Joe goes to recruit fanatics for the War Boys.

Every site on the web has the right to police its comments section however it sees fit. Anything goes in some places, while the Thought Police patrol others. Rockstar Social Club stands firmly in the latter camp with folded arms. It’s meant to be the online hub for Rockstar’s games, but is pretty much the only official spot for GTA Online players to gather, moan, post ideas, call for help, recruit gang members, moan some more, soil themselves, get excited and flip out.

“I respect Rockstar’s community managers because they take no shit. It’s an iron fist that crushes any opposition.”

I respect Rockstar’s community managers because they take no shit. If you’re offtopic you get deleted. If you ask the wrong question you get deleted. If you bitch, piss and whine you get deleted. If you’re critical of the servers, the service or the RAMPANT hacking that spoils GTA Online you get deleted. It’s an iron fist that crushes any opposition. It’s Sam Fisher with a double tap to the head.

Which is why I’m fascinated daily with RockstarCensor, a site that gathers comments as they’re deleted and republishes them for a limited time. It only ever shows the last 25 comments removed from Rockstar Social Club, and it updates regularly because Rockstar bans with such carte blanche. But trawling the comments reveals the mind state of the GTA community, which is what the game thrives on.

Read RockstarCensor and it’s really just a more accessible version of Rockstar Social Club, which becomes impenetrable once the comments section bleed past the 100 mark. There’s sanity and madness here in equal measure and it’s kind-of educational to fall down the rabbit hole. “Don’t read the comments,” they say, but I say the opposite. Read the comments and find out what crawls through humanity’s mind, for good or ill.

dude is MAD

This is typical of the ungrateful player. GTA Online has problems, some of them pretty serious, but the FREE content that’s pumped out on the regular by Rockstar is not one of them. GTA Online has had at least 12 free significant DLC content drops, it regularly features special event weekends and this year got the almighty Heists update. Yeah, that one took a while but it was worth the wait. Tell me another game that supports its players with so much new free gear, gameplay modes and more. Now glance an eye to the gutters where countless MMOs crawled to an undignified death within 12 months of launching.

never satisfied

Another example of the entitlement. Give this dude a free pizza and he’ll complain there’s no olives on it.

bug fix

This guy has a very good point. Rockstar’s GTA Online servers are a mess. It’s been a long time since launch and yet they’re still flaky, liable to throw players out of a game for no reason. We still play everyday and put up with the poor service, and something tells me if it hasn’t been fixed now it never will be. Also, I reckon someone asks for biker DLC at least once a day. It’ll happen some day…

going_pub

Basically when new DLC is released the servers crawl, as they do with any major game. Again, this is a notorious Rockstar situation so the advice is sound: start the download, go to the pub, play it in the morning.

cool hangouts

The community does have good ideas, see. GTA Online can be fairly aggressive, to say the least, but it also has an amazingly friendly community. In what other game would a player list the best locations to take photographs of butterflies? That’s some peace-and-love hippy shit, right there. Hanging out with other players without killing them is cool. As is the idea of gang-related DLC, which would make more use of a set of NPCs currently under-exploited in GTA Online. Maybe that’s what the (possible) Lowrider DLC will address?

paranoia theory

This one’s pure paranoia. I’m not sure how your brain works if you think getting something for free is a trick so you use up your in-game cash and then have to pay out for the real-money Shark Cards when better cars are released a few weeks later. No one forces you to spend your in-game cash. And it’s been so easy to earn money in GTA Online since Heists released even David Icke would laugh this theory out of the Dreamworld.

CASINO

Dude, it’s never going to happen. Move on with your life.

Hitler

Internet rule 101: no matter how valid your argument, as soon as you mention Nazi Germany, you lose.

judge_dredd_game

Another cool offtopic idea from the community. A lot of people would like a Judge Dredd game and the GTA engine seems like a perfect fit. All you need to do is flip the gameplay so you’re playing as law enforcement and not the perp. But a lot more people would like a new Red Dead game. A lot, lot more.

go play Sims

Some good points in here. A lot of people wanted a mansion with the Ill-Gotten Gains DLC but it wouldn’t have really been practical (and there’s not that many mansion models in the game to begin with). Again, that problem with lobbies and crap servers crops up. I don’t know how many times we can ask for this but the fact that there’s been no real improvement doesn’t give me any hope.

have_a_wank

u wot m8?

master_race

Ah, mocking the old “PC master race” claims. Yep, they do sound like idiots.

no_radcliffe

Rockstar doesn’t like the idea of the BBC making a movie based on its early days. In fact, Rockstar doesn’t like anything that’s out of its control. It doesn’t like RockstarCensor and it won’t like this article. But I reckon this is a harsh judgement on Radcliffe. He isn’t just Harry Potter. He’s pretty good in The Woman In Black and he does a mean version of Alphabet Aerobics.

stones_quote

Speaking of harsh, there’s got to be a less brutal way of breaking it to them. Last gen console are already missing out on some features and content contained in DLC. The truth is the old consoles just won’t have enough storage space for future GTA Online DLC. It’s already started happening, but there’s going to be a point in the near future where the updates stop for Xbox 360 and PS3 entirely. Bonus points to this comment for quoting the Rolling Stones for some reason.

more garages

Another legit concern. We’re running out of garage space for all our sweet rides. This is a direct result of all the vehicles getting released through DLC. It’s a good problem to have.

elg

And we’ll leave it that. He wants an elf?

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