Fallout 4: the 13 stages of reacting to the reveal

By Brenna Hillier, Thursday, 4 June 2015 04:00 GMT

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Fallout 4: the 13 stages of reacting to the reveal

Fallout 4. It’s real, it’s happening, and everything is satisfactory – or is it? We chart the emotional rollercoaster of having your long-held suspicions confirmed at last.

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1. Anticipation

Bethesda is hosting its own E3 conference for the first time? Dude – it’s gotta be Fallout 4. It couldn’t possibly be anything else. Look at this teaser image on the countdown site. It can’t be anything else. It’s Fallout 4. I am so excited I’m going to tweet in all capitals and bite through my tea cup.

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2. Doubt

What if it’s not Fallout 4? Bethesda Game Studios doesn’t make many games, and surely it wants to make something that’s not The Elder Scrolls or Fallout for a change? After all, it farmed New Vegas out to Obsidian. And this could all be a really elaborate troll. I mean, really elaborate. We’ve all fallen for fakes before.

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3. Affirmation

IT IS FALLOUT 4 IT IS FALLOUT 4 IT IS IT IS I AM SO HAPPY I AM CRYING TEARS OF PURE JOY AND HAVE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST ONLY INSTEAD OF FLAMES IT IS JELLYBEANS KISS ME BETHESDA YOU MAD FOOL

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4. Wild enthusiasm

THIS IS THE TRUE NEXT-GEN. BASED BETHESDA. THIS GAME WILL LITERALLY CHANGE THE WORLD. IT WILL BE THE BEST GAME EVER.

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5. Speculation

WAIT WHAT do you play as a dog?? OH MY GOD THAT IS THE BEST THING EVER TOTALLY LEFT FIELD REALLY INNOVATIVE I LOVE IT

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6. Oh

Of course you don’t play as a dog. I knew that. That would be triple-A suicide, wouldn’t it. Heh. Heh!

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7. Re-affirmation

I’M GOING TO WATCH IT AGAIN

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8. Anger and denial

Some JERK on the Internet is saying the graphics aren’t very good! Mate you know what else isn’t very good?? Your FACE after I HIT IT with my FISTS. This is FALLOUT 4 and it is AGAINST THE LAW not to love EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF IT.

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9. Acceptance

Well actually now that I look at it, it does seem a bit meh. The dog animations are janky as heck. It walks like it’s on the moon, or someone has sticky-taped its paws and it is too polite to have a total freak out and is instead just tiptoeing about in fearful horror.

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10. Guilt

You know what, this is probably our fault. Every time a developer shows off a game with a fancy cinematic trailer, or a really polished vertical slice, we throw a massive tantrum when the final game doesn’t look quite that good – even if later development assets are much more accurate.

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11. Anger (again)

We have pretty good reason for that though. Did you play Colonial Marines??

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12. Acceptance (again)

This is a far more sensible way to promote a newly-revealed game, I guess: show off how it looks now, and then later, show off the improvements as you optimise. I should probably stop worrying.

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13. Throwing caution to the wind

I guess we should wait and see how it shapes up closer to r- PRE-ORDERS ARE OPEN ALREADY? HAND ME MY WALLET I AM INCAPABLE OF CONTROLLING MY EXCITEMENT AT THE POSSIBILITY OF SHOOTING RAD SCORPIONS.

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