The sad saga of LEGO Universe’s dong detection

By Brenna Hillier, Wednesday, 3 June 2015 01:59 GMT

Shuttered MMO LEGO Universe was in constant conflict with a mighty opponent: the human impulse to draw dicks.

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One of my friends has this odd little electronic notepad he keeps in his glove box. It’s kind of a neat device, and he generally shows it to anyone who rides with him. “Try it out,” he says, handing them a stylus.

Almost everyone immediately draws a penis.

Nobody knows whether it’s some sort of hardwired biological imperative or the product of centuries of phallocentric culture, but toilet walls everywhere attest to the simple fact that a lot of people like to draw dicks, if they think they can get away with it.

As a result of this, building games like Minecraft and Trove are wall to wall dongs. Golden dongs, clay dongs, diamond dongs, dongs you could conceivably see from space – fully automated ejaculating dongs, in one memorable Minecraft example. (I tried searching for this last little gem but the results I got were, uh, not especially relevant.)

LEGO Universe, NetDevil’s shuttered MMO, did not have dongs. In a very interesting series of tweets from the project’s senior graphics designer Megan Fox, we learn how, why – and at what tremendous cost. A massive thank you to the hero who compiled these on Exquisite Tweets.

You see, LEGO was deeply committed to a dong-free game world.

Don’t go thinking working for LEGO is a nightmare, though; Fox had only good things to say about her time with the company.

LEGO is in the news at the moment due to the surprise Early Access release of LEGO Worlds, although toys-to-life style affair LEGO Dimensions is also drawing a lot of interest.

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