Seriously, Square. We love you and all, but will you please fuck off with the fucking teaser timer clocks? Here’s another one. What’s it going to be this time? A dragon on a cat? A cat on a pig? A boy in a fucking chair?
Just show us the fucking game and shut up. Unless it’s properly awesome. In which case, great. But it isn’t really, is it? It’s a clock on the internet that we have to report on for the next thousand years while you drip tiny images at us like some kind of demented fucking jailer gently starving an interrogation subject. A cat playing with a mouse. A warped child burning the legs off an insect.
What’s the game? What is it? Seven days, it says. Seven days of fucking hell. It better hadn’t involve a fucking child and a dragon. Or a cloud. Got any coffee over there?