Hello, internet. Videogaming247 is looking for new contributors. Hit the link to find out more.
Questions you will probably ask… answered!
If I get picked, what will I have to do?
Write news stories for the site.
Will I get paid?
No. This is a start-up website. Go figure.
Will I get paid in the future?
Potentially. If things go well, maybe. If they don’t, you won’t. But then neither will we, so we all lose. Think of this as a “hobby”.
Sounds rubbish. Why do I want to do it?
It’s that defeatist attitude that makes you the nobody you are, soldier. We’ll train you how to write as though you’re not mentally deficient. Your work will be professionally edited and you’ll get feedback. You will learn how to “do” games news. This will make you a better person. You’ll get your byline at the bottom of every piece you get published. You will, by definition, become a “name”. You’ll have something to put on your CV. You may be on the first rung to a career in videogames journalism.
Sounds amazing. Let’s go.
Not so fast, kemosabe. Answer the following questions with complete honesty.
- Are you a reasonable, mature person?
- Have you ever killed anybody?
- Do you have an encyclopedic knowledge of at least a few game genres?
- Do you read news?
- Do you love news?
- Does news literally make your cock hard?
- If you have no cock, does news give you erect nipples?
- Do you read a lot?
- If someone asks you about your favourite authors, can you reply happily or do you start dribbling?
- Do you enjoy writing quickly under pressure?
- Do you really want to learn how to write better?
- Does your desire to write supersede your love of games?
- Can you take criticism?
- Are you a twat? Honestly, now.
If you replied “no” to questions two and 14, “answer happily” to nine and “yes” to everything else, we’d probably like to hear from you. Send an email to email@example.com. We don’t want your CV, just a short note outlining who you are and why you want to write for the site. String a sentence together better than a four year-old and you may be in with a chance.
To be clear, we don’t care where you live or how old you are, but you must be over 18. We just want you to be a pleasant, competitive, intelligent person that likes reading, writing and playing videogames.