Update: For the time being, Game Boy Advance titles are a no-go. Iwata only specifically mentioned Game Boy and Game Boy Color games. And, surprisingly, when we write something, it doesn’t magically become fact. Shame, huh? Our bad.

Original article: Final hardware? Saw it coming. Release date? Duh. Who calls a press conference without one of those?

Wait, a 3DS Virtual Console, you say? Interesting. Tell us more.

The pint-sized download platform will dig up and dust off some of your favorite (and – knowing Nintendo’s history with these sorts of things – not so favorite) Game Boy and Game Boy Advance Color titles.

At this point, no specifics have been announced, but this is long overdue, so here’s hoping Nintendo makes it worth the wait.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. For more, check out our round-up of Nintendo’s 3DS event, which took place earlier this morning.

After last week’s desert-dry game selection, this week is like emerging into a sparkling, thirst-slaking oasis. Three games? That was the old Nintendo. Now though, things are different.

Wii-bound this week are Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 2, Phantasy Star, and 3-2-1, Rattle Battle. Meanwhile, the DSi’s nabbing Puzzle League Express.

Full details on all four (!) games are after the break.

WiiWare

Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 2
Publisher: Telltale Games
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Alcohol Reference, Cartoon Violence, Mild Language, Suggestive Themes
Price: 1,000 Wii Points™
Description: Guybrush’s adventures continue on the high seas as pox-plagued pirates lay siege to the innocent Mer-People. Between defending the Mer-People and dodging the persistent pirate hunter hot on his trail, Guybrush manages to catch up to his beloved wife and despised arch-nemesis, but the reunion is short-lived. Now Guybrush must focus on eradicating the Pox of LeChuck before more harm can be done. And as the Mighty Pirate draws closer to a cure, the waters will only grow murkier in this thrilling chapter of the epic saga.

3-2-1, Rattle Battle!
Publisher: Tecmo
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Comic Mischief
Price: 500 Wii Points
Description: 3-2-1, Rattle Battle! is a party game packed with exciting mini-games. Intuitive controls mean that anyone can enjoy playing – just grab the Wii Remote™ and shake it to “rattle.” Great fun for single players, but the party really gets started when you register high scores on Nintendo® Wi-Fi Connection to see how you measure up against players from around the globe.

Virtual Console

Phantasy Star™
Original platform: SEGA Master System
Publisher: SEGA
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone 10 and Older) – Animated Blood, Mild Fantasy Violence
Price: 500 Wii Points
Description: Originally released on the SEGA Master System, Phantasy Star is a pioneer in the role-playing game genre. Alis is the fearless female protagonist out to avenge her brother’s death at the hands of cruel dictator King Lassic. Players must guide Alis and her troops through the sprawling environments of the Agol solar system in an attempt to defeat King Lassic and liberate the people of Agol. Engage in dynamic turn-based combat with dragons, ghouls, giants and magicians by using unique weapons such as glowing daggers, crossbows and magic spells.

Nintendo DSiWare

Puzzle League™ Express
Publisher: Nintendo
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points™
Description: The ever-popular Puzzle League comes to Nintendo DSiWare. As it is with all good puzzlers, the concept is simple: Connect blocks of the same color to clear them from the screen and prevent your stack from becoming too high. There are four single-player modes to choose from: Endless (survive to earn a top score), Clear (eliminate all blocks above the line), Score Attack (score as high as possible in two minutes) and Vs. COM (use items and combos to attack a computer opponent). You can choose from a variety of background music to help get you in the zone, and even play in horizontal or vertical mode by holding the Nintendo DSi system normally or like a book. Whichever way you play, you’re guaranteed maximum fun.

Own a Wii and/or DSi? Like downloading stuff? Well then, this one might be a little hard for you to choke down. See, while other weeks have given you a crop of four, five — maybe even six — sparkly new games to download, this week’s a barren wasteland with only three.

Oh, wait! Is that another game we just saw?

Nope. Just a tumbleweed. Our fragile hearts are shattered.

So, if you haven’t gone mad with grief and done something crazy like buy an Xbox or PS3, this week’s selection is composed of Pop + Solo, Mr. Driller W, and Super Empire Strikes back.

Full details on each game are after the break.

Virtual Console

Super Empire Strikes Back (Original platform: Super NES; Publisher: LucasArts; Players: 1; Price: 800 Wii Points)

Description: Pursued across the galaxy, Rebel forces now marshal new strength on the remote ice world of Hoth. Though tracked by probe droids, attacked by ice monsters and confronted by an army of gigantic Imperial Walkers, you must not give in. You are the Alliance’s only hope. Learn the ways of the Force, then test your skills in this fast-paced, action-packed sequel to the hit game Super Star Wars.

WiiWare

Mr. DRILLER W (Publisher: NBGI; Players: 1; Price: 800 Wii Points)

Description: Mr. Driller W is the newly updated version of the exciting game that challenges players with level upon level of frantic underground drilling action. Experience more than 20 varied stages and missions. Drill through a seemingly endless onslaught of colored blocks while avoiding falling obstacles and strategically managing your air supply. Multiple degrees of difficulty now challenge everyone from novices to hardcore Mr. Driller veterans. A tutorial will even help first-time players learn the rules quickly and easily. Vibrant graphics, engaging game play and loads of characters make this a modern twist on a gaming masterpiece.

Nintendo DSiWare

Pop+ Solo (Publisher: Nnooo; Players: 1; Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points)

Description: Pop bubbles, build chains and try to keep the timer alive in this awesome puzzle/shooter. Pop your way through 16 waves of bubbles in Adventure, Normal or Advanced modes. Race against the clock in a one-, two- or five-minute run. Try the new Bonus Round mode, where each bonus round can be played in three, five or 10 rounds of increasing difficulty. Or just chill out in the relaxing Chill mode with no score or time pressures to worry about. Pop+ Solo comes to the Nintendo DSi system with eight modes and five bonus rounds, plus plenty of new badges to collect. Adventure mode introduces some new elements to the game with mines, golden fish, jets of water and four boss battles. The new Challenge mode lets you create and customize your own challenges to play again and again.

As per usual, Nintendo has lit the fuse on another week with a new batch of downloadable games. We, of course, are telling you about them, thus making sure the natural order doesn’t fall into chaos.

This week brings PictureBook Games: Pop-Up Pursuit, Family Slot Car Racing, and Revenge of the Shinobi to the Wii, while Brain Age Express: Sudoku and Guitar Rock Tour round out the DSi’s lineup.

Ninjas, guitars, and slot cars? In the same week? This has to be some kind of good omen.

Full descriptions of each game are after the break.

WiiWare

PictureBook Games: Pop-Up Pursuit
Publisher: Nintendo
Players: 1-4
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 800 Wii Points ($8)
Description: Enter the world of PictureBook Games: Pop-Up Pursuit and enjoy a family board game set in a pop-up picture book. Instead of simply rolling dice to move along the map, you’ll use cards (which can help or hinder progress) and coins (useful for buying more cards, but don’t forget about your Coin Bonus at the end of the game). Spaces on the map play an important role in the game’s outcome, and your computer-controlled opponents exhibit different personalities and behavior. Occasionally, the mysterious Book of Magick will be opened, causing an event that may change according to how you play. This mixture of exciting game play and charming, artistic atmosphere give Pop-Up Pursuit high replay value and unique depth–even if its characters are flat.

Family Slot Car Racing
Publisher: Aksys Games
Players: 1-2
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 500 Wii Points ($5)
Description: Daddy, Mommy, Sarah and Billy are putting the pedal to the metal in Family Slot Car Racing. Race through three racing circuits, each composed of multiple racetracks and even bonus tracks. You can race against a friend for some friendly one-on-one racing action. Choose among multiple slot cars with varying designs to see which car has the best grip and speed. As you progress, you’ll unlock new courses and even new slot cars to help you reach the top of the racing circuit. Do you have it in you to be the fastest racer on four wheels?

Wii Virtual Console

The Revenge of Shinobi
Original Platform: SEGA Genesis
Publisher: SEGA
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Fantasy Violence
Price: 800 Wii Points ($8)
Description: This classic SEGA Genesis platformer features Musashi, a ninja out to defeat the evil Neo Zeed and his criminal empire. In this sequel to the arcade favorite Shinobi, traverse through various districts – from the bamboo forests of Japan to the streets of New York City – and fight incoming enemies by throwing Shurikens, performing special ninjutsu moves and slashing a katana sword. Battle against unique bosses at the last stage of each district and make your way to the final match with your nemesis, Neo Zeed.

Nintendo DSiWare

Brain Age Express: Sudoku
Publisher: Nintendo
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points ($5)
Description: Sudoku takes center stage in this edition of the popular Brain Age series. Solve a variety of puzzles at three different skill levels using the touch screen and an intuitive interface. Track your progress by completing three tests and finding out your Brain Age. The unique charm of the Brain Age series and the challenge of sudoku make for an enjoyable combination. Prepare for another round of training your brain in minutes a day.

Guitar Rock Tour
Publisher: Gameloft
Players: 1-4
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points ($5)
Description: If you like rock music and have a sense of rhythm, your road to stardom starts here. Guitarist or drummer – choose your path and fire up the most famous concert stages with your band. For beginners or music experts, the engaging game play provides hours of fun. Tap the touch screen or press buttons to the beat of your favorite songs. Keep your cool in front of a hyped-up crowd and don’t miss a note. Warm up your fingers and prepare your ears for the explosive track list of Guitar Rock Tour, mixing recent hits like “Girlfriend,” “In the Shadow” and “Banquet” with rock classics like “Beat It,” “Rock You Like a Hurricane” and more. Use the Nintendo DSi Camera to take a photo of yourself or your friends, then display it onstage and receive goodies at your effigy. A new rock idol is born!

No, not those classics. But come on, you can play those golden oldies on everything short of the Colecovision these days. So instead, the Wii’s getting Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back and Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi “in the coming weeks.”

On top of that, “additional classic LucasArts games” are coming after the “coming weeks,” though no specifics were given.

Thanks, Shacknews.

This week’s spat of Nintendo downloads has something for everyone, even Star Wars-loving, Brain Age-devouring, rock-climbing aficionados. Finally, Nintendo’s reached out to that notoriously vocal demographic.

On the Virtual Console, you’ll find 2D beat-you-up Super Star Wars, while a plentiful WiiWare harvest has brought forth both Rock ‘n’ Roll Climber and Nyx Quest: Kindred Spirits. You may remember Nyx Quest as that Kid Icarus-ish title that was forced to change its name.

There’s also an artsy take on Brain Age, if you’re into that kind of thing.

Full details on each game are after the break.

WiiWare

NyxQuest: Kindred Spirits
Publisher: Over The Top Games
Players: 1-2
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Fantasy Violence
Price: 1,000 Wii Points™
Description: Experience the awesome story of Nyx, an enigmatic winged girl who must descend from heaven in search of her missing friend, Icarus. Fly over the ruins of ancient Greece and avoid falling into blazing sands or perishing in the claws of cruel harpies and hydras. You will need the help of Zeus and other benevolent gods from Olympus to summon their powers. They will let you cast rays, modify the scenery and control winds as you wish. By making your own wrist movements and pointing to the game screen, you will be able to achieve these and many other feats. Fly, aim and shoot using your Wii Remote™ controller. Play with a friend and maximize your abilities: While one controls Nyx, the other will control the powers from the gods.

Rock N’ Roll Climber
Publisher: Nintendo
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Price: 800 Wii Points
Description: Prepare to “rock out” like never before in Rock N’ Roll Climber. Climb rocks using the innovative control scheme, which has you controlling your character’s movement using the Wii Remote and Nunchuk™ controllers. If you want an even more immersive experience, optional support for the Wii Balance Board™ is also available. Make your way up an array of courses, ranging from the Pop level’s indoor rock wall to the Heavy Metal level’s waterfalls (watch out for those moss-covered rocks – they’re slick). In addition to the sense of accomplishment you’ll feel upon reaching the top, you might just be rewarded with your own guitar.

Virtual Console

Super Star Wars
Original platform: Super NES
Publisher: LucasArts
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Fantasy Violence
Price: 800 Wii Points
Description: Risk your life as a Jedi Knight. Join Luke, Han and Chewbacca in their fierce war against the Evil Empire. Battle treacherous aliens. Pilot two vehicles in high-speed, first-person 3-D sequences. Rip through the desert in Luke’s landspeeder. Clash with aliens in the Mos Eisley Cantina. Blast menacing boss monsters and Imperial stormtroopers. Attack TIE fighters in the trenches of the Death Star. Fight your way through the wastelands of Tatooine to the hostile streets of Mos Eisley and beyond. Grab your blaster, strap on your lightsaber and take on the fight for galactic freedom.

Nintendo DSiWare

Brain Age Express: Arts & Letters
Publisher: Nintendo
Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Language
Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points™
Description: This edition of the popular Brain Age series offers players a mix of new and familiar exercises, all with an artistic focus. Test your spelling in Word Attack, enjoy literary classics in Reading Aloud and tune your musical skills in Piano Player. A new Themes mode challenges you in drawing, photography and voice acting and lets you share your creativity with friends and family. And if you need a break, the always-enjoyable Virus Buster makes its return. Prepare for another round of training your brain in minutes a day.

This week’s Nintendo downloads are brought to you by large men, scantily clad women, robots, puzzles, and the letter H.

Games up for download include Tecmo Bowl, Art Style: precipice, and Overturn. “Games” up for download, however, are limited to Sexy Poker.

The full list of descriptions is after the break.

WiiWare

OVERTURN
Publisher: Studio Zan Inc., Players: 1-4, ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Fantasy Violence, Price: 800 Wii Points™
Description: OVERTURN is a futuristic robot-versus-robot fighting game. Choose from eight different robots to pilot and master, using various close-range and long-range weapons to blast away enemies in six single-player tournaments. Unlock secret modes and up to 12 new weapons. Customize your robot’s color and weapons to prepare for your next battle. Then take the action online to play in a two-player Versus battle or a four-player Battle Royale match. Search the world for Friends or other players who are online and ready for battle. Players with the optional Wii Balance Board™ can use it to control their robots by shifting their weight.

Sexy Poker™
Publisher: Gameloft, Players: 1, ESRB Rating: M (Mature) – Simulated Gambling, Suggestive Themes, Price: 500 Wii Points
Description: Get your pulse racing with a game of strip poker against a selection of six lovely manga-style women who may wind up in nothing but swimsuits or underwear when the final hand is dealt. Choose the classic Texas Hold’em Poker to be thrilled as the bets increase, or try the Black Jack game for a mix of chance and strategy. Discover the girls’ personalities: they’ll bluff you! Enter the photo gallery to see the pictures you’ve unlocked by playing and winning. If you’re good enough, Emi, Sakura and their seductive girlfriends will bet their clothes to stay in the game.

Virtual Console

TECMO BOWL
Publisher: Tecmo, Players: 1-4, ESRB Rating: E (Everyone), Price: 600 Wii Points
Description: Released in 1987, the football game that took America by storm is back. This arcade version required a custom-made dual-screen cabinet and was popular for its large characters and intense graphics. The game is filled with great action as players take control of receivers and running backs, quickly moving the controller to break a tackle. Play alone or with up to four players in a two-on-two match. Experience the best moments of both competitive and cooperative play, finding holes in your opponent’s defense, then savor the thrill of receiving a pass thrown by your teammate. In addition, game options such as play time, team division and difficulty level can be adjusted.

Nintendo DSiWare

Art Style: precipice™
Publisher: Nintendo, Players: 1, ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Comic Mischief, Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points™
Description: The sky is falling in the form of cubes in the action-oriented Art Style: precipice. Watch for the telltale shadow to avoid seeing your character get crushed by a falling cube while climbing the stacked cubes to ascend to the floors above. Push, pull or shove cubes to make your climb easier. Try to gain extra points by stepping on five cubes in a row on the same floor. In addition, you’ll encounter special cubes that can either be helpful or harmful to your effort. Choose from either TEN FLOORS mode, which challenges you to reach the tenth floor while scoring as many points as possible, or TOWER mode, which gives you the chance to climb as high as you can. Do you have what it takes to make it to the top, or will you be crushed?

Nintendo’s put out its list of downloads for the week, with this week’s obvious standout being Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a Darklord.

There’s also Battle Poker, which — sadly — puts a heavy emphasis on the poker, and not the battling. 5 Spots Party rounds out the Wii’s portion of the line-up, and Art Style: Zengage (uh, yeah) serves as the sole DSiWare representative for the week.

The Virtual Console, meanwhile, is hiding its head in shame over a release-free week.

Full details on each game are after the break.

WiiWare

FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES: My Life as a Darklord
Publisher: SQUARE ENIX, Players: 1, ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Mild Fantasy Violence, Mild Suggestive Themes, Price: 1,000 Wii Points™

Description: Step into the royal shoes of the Darklord’s daughter as she installs traps and monsters inside her tower to fight back the endless waves of invading adventurers in this world-conquest RPG. Known as Artifacts, these monsters and traps are your only hope in keeping the adventurers from destroying the Dark Crystal on the top floor. Fly your tower across the land and conquer every stage on your way to dominating the entire world.

Battle Poker
Publisher: Left Field Productions, Players: 1-4, ESRB Rating: E (Everyone), Price: 800 Wii Points

Description: Battle Poker is a family-friendly card game with up to four players battling against the clock to make the best five-card hand possible. Battles are played across multiple rounds, and points are scored for each round based on the quality of the hand. Each player uses a Wii Remote™ controller to point and click on a standard deck of cards on the screen. The first click flips the card over, at which point it can be grabbed by anyone else. You’ve got to have fast fingers and eyes to grab the cards you need before someone else snatches them.

5 Spots Party
Publisher: Cosmonaut Games, Players: 1-4, ESRB Rating: E (Everyone), Price: 500 Wii Points

Description: Have fun with the entire family and compete in three different play modes. 5 Spots Party is a game of skill for all ages based on the popular game of finding five differences. The goal is to find the greatest number of differences in the pictures shown. In the party modes, you must compete with other players and find as many mistakes as possible. In the 1-Player mode, you must find the differences before time runs out in order to beat the game’s highest scores. How far do you think you can go?

Nintendo DSiWare
Art Style: ZENGAGE™
Publisher: Nintendo, Players: 1, ESRB Rating: E (Everyone), Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points™

Description: Do you dream of relaxing with a great puzzle game? Art Style: ZENGAGE revolves around sliding cells (squares) to match colors with cores (beads) located on the board. Clear each stage by matching all of the cores and cells. As you progress through the game’s 100-plus stages, you’ll encounter cells with special characteristics, such as immovability, which further add to the challenge. To truly master ZENGAGE, you must keep your mind sharp and employ careful strategy to complete stages in as few moves as possible. Combining wistful graphics and mesmerizing sound, ZENGAGE creates a surreal world that should be experienced by all puzzle gaming fans.

Nintendo’s just announced that Hudson Entertainment’s SimEarth: The Living Planet will be available from its European Wii Virtual Console service this week.

SimEarth will set you back 800 Wii Points (approx. €8) and was originally released on PC Engine (TurboGrafx16) back in 1990.

The basic challenge of the game is to maintain a comfortable environment for the life forms by adjusting atmospheric and geological parameters. Small organisms called Prokaryote and Trichordate will grow and evolve into a multitude of life forms. Making a drastic change is a recipe for disaster. The key to success is making small adjustments and watching how the life forms react.

WiiWare will get Family Mini Golf amongst others (listed below) and DSi owners can download Art Style Boxlife.

Full run-down after the break.

WiiWare

Drill Sergeant Mindstrong
Publisher: XSEED Games
Players: 1-4
Price: 800 Wii Points™
Description: Line up and get ready to use your mind. Drill Sergeant Mindstrong is a party game that allows up to four people to play at once. Players become boot-camp trainees under the tough Drill Sergeant Mindstrong, going through mind-boggling, mind-training games. The rules are simple, but concentration and quick thinking are key. Become the top boot of your class and earn promotions based on your efforts. This game is best played with friends and family.

NEVES Plus

Publisher: YUKES Company of America
Players: 1-4
Price: 600 Wii Points
Description: Try your hand at the newest puzzle craze to come out of Japan, NEVES Plus! Enhanced for WiiWare, NEVES Plus not only retains all the simple, mind-bending tangram-based game play from the original Nintendo DS™ version, but also includes new multiplayer modes wrapped up in an Egyptian theme. This time, you and up to three others can work together to move, rotate and flip the seven Lucky stones into each of the 500-plus silhouette puzzles. You can also challenge one another in new multiplayer modes such as Versus, Speed, Lucky Number and Party Mode. Whether you play every mode by yourself or with friends, NEVES Plus is set to charm you with harder-than-they-look silhouette puzzles.

Family Mini Golf

Publisher: Aksys Games
Players: 1-8
Price: 500 Wii Points
Description: Daddy, Mommy, Sarah and Billy are back for some mini-golf action. Play through multiple golf courses that contain obstacles ranging from bumpers to speed ramps to fans and more. Up to eight players can play together using a single Wii Remote™ controller. You can download new courses to expand your fun-filled mini-golf experience, creating even more complex and difficult challenges to overcome. Can you conquer all the courses and become the mini-golf champion?

Nintendo DSiWare

Art Style: BOXLIFE™
Publisher: Nintendo
Players: 1
Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points™
Description: Climb the corporate ladder in the world of BOXLIFE using your wits and… paper? Use the Nintendo DSi™ stylus to cut and then manipulate the paper into a box shape. Be careful-if you’re not efficient with your cuts, you’ll waste paper and be penalized. R&D mode teaches you new patterns and challenges you to complete various ranks, while FACTORY mode gives you the chance to earn money by making as many boxes as possible from an endless sheet of paper. Success in each mode brings its own reward: Clear ranks to earn a promotion, change your character’s appearance, and use your earnings to acquire new items for your character’s miniature garden. With this game’s stylish graphics and catchy sounds, thinking inside the box isn’t such a bad thing.

Virtual Console

SimEarth™: The Living Planet
Original platform: TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM
Publisher: Hudson Entertainment
Players: 1
Price: 800 Wii Points
Description: An entire planet becomes your laboratory in this large-scale simulation game. Players help foster new life and promote its evolution into life forms of higher intelligence. Guide civilization along the path of evolution until it can achieve Exodus, the ultimate goal of settling on another planet. The basic challenge of the game is to maintain a comfortable environment for the life forms by adjusting atmospheric and geological parameters. Small organisms called Prokaryote and Trichordate will grow and evolve into a multitude of life forms. Making a drastic change is a recipe for disaster. The key to success is making small adjustments and watching how the life forms react. SimEarth also includes planets with environments different from Earth, such as Mars and Venus. Try your hand at terraforming these planets with harsh conditions and creating a world where life can thrive.

Update: It’s already out! What are you waiting for? Thanks, Mafro.

Monday’s Virtual Console update brings the SNES mega classic, Super Punch Out! to your living space.

There’s nothing else to write apart from the fact that you must buy it because it’s great.

It was revealed yesterady the Punch Out! Wii has Balance Board support.

Thanks, Destructoid.

Which, as the article notes, is great, but you can’t resell VC games. And you can’t hold them in your hands. But to be honest, you’ve just saved $1,200, so who cares?