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Nonsense

Fake – Modern Warfare 3 to sport 32 player deathmatch, “Bomb Mode”

A spurious video doing the rounds today is claimed to come from a guy who “gained access” to the Xbox 360s set up for Call of Duty XP. It supposedly reveals new Modern Warfare 3 intel, but is mainly just good for a laugh.

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Nonsense headlines

  • Court refuses to certify Hot Coffee suit

    According to this Kotaku story, a US court has refused to certify the proposed settlement class of the Hot Coffee lawsuit as too few people were offended by the matter for it to… matter. This means that Rockstar may not have to settle the case at all. As you’ll recall, it was announced in June […]

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  • Afrika, the videogame, is "very SAFARI!"

    Have a front page? Hold it. Stop all presses while you’re at it. A Japanese retailer has posted a description of what Afrika actually is, meaning those endless, dreary dark nights of the soul are o-o-over: it’s a game where you trot in air balloons and take photographs. Apparently, “As a photojournalist for the foot, […]

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  • Sega shows off new Rambo game, new screens

    Sega’s let press near the upcoming Rambo arcade game, which looks far too much like a modern Operation Wolf that is good for it. The title’s based on the movies of yore, apparently, and not the recent fourth instalment in Sly’s “great work”. It’ll be hitting arcades in September. Check out Arcade Heroes for a […]

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  • Man plays Mario for 11 minutes, we hold breath

    After the link. We’re not even sure which game it is, if we’re being honest. Looks like some bastardised Japanese version of Mario World. The whole thing’s been set to music with shell-bouncing sound effects happening eerily in synch. It’s 7.30am on a Bank Holiday. You owe it to yourself to watch it.

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  • Cummer banned from Xbox Live

    This is going to run and run. Not content with banning the word “gay” in GamerTags, Microsoft has stopped a Mr Cummer from using his name on Xbox Live. With all due respect, this is beyond parody. “I wasn’t offended,” Cummer, a Canadian, told The Globe and Mail. “I understand the reasoning. I wasn’t trying […]

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  • Shots of Rambo arcade game surface

    On CVG. Looks shit, but it’s Rambo and Sega, so nothing can possibly go wrong. Apparently this is going to release this autumn in Japan. No idea if this will ever make it west, or, indeed, if it would matter if it did.

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  • Brits prefer games to shagging, says survey

    In a poll of 2,000 Britons, gaming has emerged as a preferable bedroom activity to sex. According to this, the top ten bedroom pastimes in UK household, by minutes spent doing them per week, are: Sleep (3,150) Talking (193) TV (132) Net surfing (122) Reading (114) Listening to music (105) Using phone (81) Work (77) […]

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  • UK retailer Dixons to start publishing games

    According to this, the UK retail chain Dixons is after developers to it can start publishing its own games. “We’re going out to the development community and saying that DSG are publishing games,” said the group’s head of international buying and consoles, David Johnson. “The content will be PC and casual game-based, although we’d also […]

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  • Gazza is Wii addict, says Sun

    This is about the Friday afternoon level. “Troubled soccer legend Paul Gascoigne has yet another addiction – to his Nintendo Wii,” said this. “Gazza, 40, has been spending hours on end locked in a hotel room playing on the computer console. He even pesters staff to play against him. The ex England star, who has […]

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  • EA targets $6 billion sales by 2011

    Next stop, the moon. EA’s just announced plans to hit $6 billion in sales by 2011. CEO John Riccitiello said this was a target, and not guidance, but shares jumped over 5 percent in trading on the news. Wall Street does not have a forecast that far into the future, but for the fiscal year […]

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  • Pathetic Telegraph launches assault at Byron Report

    Family values idiot-paper, The Daily Telegraph, “The Daily Mail with more syllables”, has launched a fantastic attack on Tanya Byron, the ex-TV psychologist charged with compiling a government report on violent games and child internet use. In an editorial titled ” Tanya Byron, splatting aliens and sociopaths”, Jim White writes, “I may not be a […]

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  • XBLA Peggle to include online multiplayer

    We love Peggle. So it comes as great news that the upcoming XBLA version will include online multiplayer options. We think this means two of you will be able to watch something happen that you have virtually no control over simultaneously, but that would just be cynical. There’s a movie through the link explaining everything.

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  • PopCap: No Peggle for DS

    This is the last story we write about Peggle. According to this, a previous confirmation that nonsense, random, depressing casual game Peggle is coming to DS isn’t true. “We have ambitious plans for many of our titles including Peggle, and are eager to bring its peg-popping pleasures to as many appropriate platforms and devices as […]

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  • Peggle for DS

    So says this. We’re only posting this because we have to. Apparently a chap in Amsterdam told Pocket Gamer that ridiculous Peggle thing’s going to be launched on DS. We still don’t understand the fascination with this. But then we’re not 40 year-old women, so that probably explains it.

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  • Two women held at gunpoint for Wii

    Not so great. Two Kansas City women have been held at gunpoint by two men in their home, who were apparently looking for money and drugs. When they realised they’d broken into the wrong house, they stole a Wii instead. Good work, robber people. “The masked men held Robinson and her cousin at gunpoint,” said […]

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  • Jaffe accelerates into Bananagate

    You couldn’t make this up. Kotaku posted a quote from a recent Wired interview with David Jaffe yesterday as news, in which the first thing the God of War developer said, in response to a question about Mario Kart, was, “You know, honestly, I’ve been too busy recently trying to figure out why the fuck […]

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  • Wii even makes it to Emmerdale

    We don’t really have the words, so we’re just going to cut and paste this. God help us all. EMMERDALE stars want to take on rival soaps in an online Olympics after being treated to a Nintendo Wii by TV bosses. Matthew Wolfenden, 27, who plays bed hopping rogue David Metcalfe said: “It’s great as […]

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  • Tea leaf hides money in Xbox

    A man grown (sort of) rich chipping consoles and flogging PSP memory cards has been collared by trading standards, who found £12,000 in cash stuffed in an Xbox and three PS2s. “I’ve heard it all now,” said Michael Rawlinson, managing director of ELSPA. “It never ceases to amaze ELSPA and its investigators the lengths criminals […]

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  • Super Smash Bros. Brawl demo hits Japan - videos

    Japanese demo pods of Wii’s Super Smash Bros. Brawl are now in the public domain, so all hope of everyone shutting up about the frigging game are now officially out of the window. Loads of movies here, should you either care or just want to see what the “kids” are getting so excited about.

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