Whatever you’re celebrating this holiday season – and we hope at the very least it’s “a day off” or “time and a half” – VG247 would like to share its non-denominational cheer with you.
Although we’re very conscious that the world is mostly filled with people who don’t really celebrate Christmas (whatever the media would have you believe), everyone at VG247 does, because we all like 01) presents 02) eating delicious food 03) some of our relatives and 04) days off work.
Every day is Christmas when you work at VG247, because when the clock ticks over to five you can explain to your partner that you are doing “overtime” when you settle in front of the console, and every game or hardware purchase goes firmly in the “tax deduction” column. So it’s not really surprising that this year, apart from our annual trolltastic Kris Kringle, nobody seems to have asked Santa for any games.
In Dave’s letter to good old Saint Nick, he’s asked for “the ability to sleep through the night without waking up multiple times for reasons unknown”, which you can probably help him obtain by being less nasty in the comments section.
He’s also asked for “a literal puppy” because for various reasons his years-old wish for a dog has so far gone unfulfilled, and people seem to think he’s joking when he asks.
Steph hasn’t asked for a puppy as her immediate surroundings are chock full of kittens and puppies at all times. She’s asked for boots – tall, high, boots.
“It’s my one fashion vice with an edge. Otherwise I dress like Mother Hubbard,” she said, which is a lie but you go ahead and imagine it’s true for her peace of mind, please.
She also wants a work chair because she’s “about to pull an Office Space on this one’, and Woodford Reserve, which is apparently “the Best. Bourbon. Ever”.
“Did I say I wanted new boots?” she added hopefully as Santa noted all this down.
Pat, who at last count was 4,831 birthdays into his middle age, asked for some ski clothes and “a pair of slippers so I can wear my new trousers around the house without spoiling the bottoms”.
He’s also getting The Old Man and the Sea to read over Christmas, and he believes his wife may have purchased an Airfix model for him.
“I’m old,” he concluded. No, boss – really?
Brenna is the only one of us who’ll be in the Southern hemisphere for Chrimbo, so she’s hoping South Australia will be less contrary than in previous years and give her some baking hot days to spend at the beach.
“I’m not expecting much this year but I did give my dad a board game, because that way, I get to play a new board game all Christmas,” she added.
As ever, Sam managed to make us all look like chumps by professing the most modest and thoughtful Christmas wishlist of all time.
“Still hoping for world peace, one day it will come,” he said.
“Secondly I could totally go for a Christmas jumper as I’m yet to ever own one in my puny little life.”
That is a crying shame.
Christmas in gaming
In honour of the holiday, the VG247 crew cast their mind back over some of their favourite holiday-themed moments in video games. Steph pulled out quite a good one from the Simpsons Hit & Run.
“If the game clock/calendar noticed it was Dec 25 you’d see Homer sleeping on the sofa in a Santa suit. I loved it because it was totally random,” she said.
As our resident MMO expert, Steph also granted a nod to winter festivals in various titles, “providing they aren’t a grind fest”.
Dave went all indie with Angry Video Game Nerd: Adventures.
“Seeing James Rolfe killing Santa and then riding his bloody corpse down a piste. I was just like ‘oh…'” he said.
Sam plumbed the depths of his memory and came up with “the awful sex scene in Fahrenheit’”, but then ruled it out because it might just be winter, as opposed to Christmas. “I additionally don’t condone necrophilia,” he added, which is nice to know.
In the end, our video editor went for Home Alone on the Mega Drive “because it was just awful. No wonder the kid was scared!”
Was it awful, or could none of us figure out how this 16-bit Bethesda title worked? A mystery for the ages.
Less mysterious is Brenna’s choice for best Christmas game – Snowcraft, which is just obscure, quirky, low-fi and secretive enough to push all her buttons.
Pat doesn’t have any favourite Christmas games. He didn’t actually say “bah, humbug” but we could all feel it.
Thanks to everyone who tuned in this year. We hope you’re enjoying the break. Don’t eat too much, those of you who do the whole Giftmas thing; we promise not to obey our own advice.