Borderlands 2 stars and bullets and squares

What exactly does mnarkety means?

I think it was supposed to be “market”.

yeahthatwasabitofareadwasntit

This needs spell check, badly.

Paragraphs wouldn’t hurt either <3

e: Is this even a real article?

Pat’s bridging the gap between Metacritic user reviews and press reviews. Or press reviews and youtube comments.

what the? O_o

There is a reason why there exist external keyboards for tablets and smartphones.

Was Pat on a lot of drugs when he wrote this? It’s not just the grammar, it’s the rantings of a madman.

Is this article deliberately written in the style of a drunk/stoned 8 year old?

Wait, I get it!

It’s written as if a Psyko from the game was talking about it!

Are you drunk again Pat?

LLJK

“the sky in this one looks amazing”

Really guys…This days nobody could drink in peace, let him have his drinks, rants, etc, at least it is a real funny post, from time to time we need one of this, not the perfect writing, seriously tones ones, i like the drunk Pat or the cheap Pat (without keyboard on tablet), whatever you want to call it

I think Pat’s starting drinking again

Someone fire the editor!!! Reads like crap!!1 Grammar and spelling all over the place. Thankfully, I re-wrote it, correcting all the mistakes.

Stars and bullets and squares and sparks and yeah, the humour’s pretty good in a sort of glare-of-front-teeth, glad-you-came fashion, and that effect on the ice could keep you staring at the sea all day.
That’s kind of what I’m doing because I end up dead all the time. I’m playing alone, grinding against the ancient weightlifting structure of slightly-too-hard-for-one and easy-for-two, despite the notion of increasing difficulty with multiple players when the second guy’s level 11 or whatever. So it’s borderland but Borderlands 2 and everything’s been fixed.

It’s pretty and funny but it’s the same-thing-but-better grenade mods, explosions and stupid heads but the siren has awesome blue shit. When Andy from CVG joins in to kill Midgemong – I really, really hate that name because it’s just not OK and I don’t care if I’m too PC or whatever. It makes me incredibly sad.

Can’t kill this guy because I’m weak like a child, although it’s not my weakness but the game not allowing me to proceed because I haven’t done enough or whatever. Makes me wonder seriously how many times I can go through this stuff because I saw Neil Castle say on Twitter this morning “it’s not an evolution, it’s just the first game with everything patched and upgraded” and I ‘d definitely agree with that.

Brenna can’t install it for some reason, so that leaves her with the 360 version which I’m not playing so I doubt we’re going to be able to play together and Dave’s PC isn’t up too much so he’s playing the 360 version too, which is cool because maybe Brenna and Dave could play it together or whatever.

See there’s the thing, you just have to walk somewhere blow something up kill a guy, watch a bunch of guys spawn, follow the diamond bullet, stars, square, and its great if you’re in a group, but if you’re alone then it’s kind of boring despite large improvement.

First one that really was dull in the opening bits and the sky in this one looks amazing – like amazing – but skeletally it’s just a straight RPG in first person with guns and soloings; a grind right from the start. Compare guns, compare shield, get a better gun, and its fun, I guess, but I’m nearly 40 and I’m honestly not sure if I can be clearly critical about something in which masked men repeatedly jump at me in a walking cartoon from behind rocks and mounted guns. It’s not like I don’t get it and there’s no doubt that it’s an awesome game but maybe the constantness of the bullets and stars and square and sparks is getting a bit too much for me because I’m fucking old? Like I want to read and write about stuff that isn’t just mental every second of every game, you know? Or maybe I just shouldn’t be writing about games at all anymore?

Borderlands 2’s going to sell well and deservedly so but surely there a point where ‘the-same-but-better’ is only viable if you’re in the market for ‘the-same-but-better’.

Think I want more now.

Or whatever.

Haha…the text looks like written by a drugged paranoid spy, sitting hidden in a corner trying not to be seen while he writes some super secret infos for the headquarter, before the self-destruct mechanism of his tablet is going to be activate.

@17 you do get that the mistakes are intentional right?

lol @12

@19 So, is it fair to say that the QC drill was a resounding success?

“It’s not like I don’t get it and there’s no doubt that it’s an awesome game but maybe the constantness of the bullets and stars and square and sparks is getting a bit too much for me because I’m fucking old? Like I want to read and write about stuff that isn’t just mental every second of every game, you know? Or maybe I just shouldn’t be writing about games at all anymore?” best part.

I think something is not right with him…maybe he got fired already? his wife left him? idk….just weird…

I used to work for this man and I know when he’s crazy. This ain’t crazy.

@19 …

oops!

There is a reason I don’t usually read these reviews. Now there are two.

Reads like an 8/10 to me.

Reads like Pat regurgitated Alphabety Spaghetti onto his screen

And that was the end of New Games Journalism.

its 2012, the apocalypse is ringing at the door. No fuck was giving that day^^

I registered solely to express my disbelief. Is this supposed to be a joke, a joke that was really just… poorly executed? What?
I know this isn’t the Wall St Journal, but if this wasn’t an intentional joke, I hope someone was fired. Even if it was a joke I kind of hope someone was fired.

@31 of course it’s intentional.

Jesus…

@32, Or maybe you covering for Pat as he sits shivering in a corner, recovering from a ketamine high?

@33, Pat is actually playing Borderlands 2 right now :p

^ I believe that helps the comedown

And thinking i will need to wait one more month in order to play it T_T, iam jealous/envy in a good way, to Ireland Michael and to Pat.

@33 I think he’s gone feral.

Dave now iam confuse, is he playing Borderlands 2 or far cry?

@Manu, I think the VG247 staff should be very careful when Far Cry 3 is released…

I can see Pat going total ‘lord of the flies’ :-/

@39 I want to take a holiday that week. I’m already terrified.

LOL Guys

I don’t think there’s any doubt that Borderlands 2 is best played with a saltshaker full of cocaine and 30 pellets of mescaline.

Is this real life?

^ sounds like someone else needs to go easy on the ketamine

I fucking love you for this Pat. Love you.

Yet you upset GAF. How could you!

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=492917

Best video game review of 2012.