Counter-Strike: Global Offensive – a glorious war

Wednesday, 22nd August 2012 09:21 GMT By Patrick Garratt

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive is out now. It’s a brilliant revamp that shows shooters don’t have to be about instant death and depressing confusion. Patrick Garratt’s planting the bomb.

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive is a revelation. Every round ends in “gg”. If someone’s being a prick, they get booted. You don’t walk around perpetually dying unless you’ve put serious time into learning maps, and you actually have to lay bullets on enemies to kill them. The Valve revamp, launched now for PC, Mac and PS3 and hitting 360 later today, does a reasonable job of making CoD culture perfectly unappealing. I can’t stop playing it.

If you’re young, or have succeeded in destroying your short-term memory with bong abuse, you may not remember what Counter-Strike’s about. Two sides, the terrorists and counter-terrorists, are shooting each other to win rounds. In Classic, you can buy weapons at the start of the match. The better you did in the previous round, the more money you have to play with. If you get killed you’re out, and you’re spectating until someone wins. In Arms Race, you get a new weapon every time you kill someone. In Demolition, the terrorists are laying a bomb and the counter-terrorists have to stop them.

And that’s it.

I am not a Counter-Strike expert. The original game has such a fierce reputation as the most hardcore competitive shooter that, stupidly, I didn’t play it. But the ease at which I was up and loving Global Offensive was startling. It feels “fair”. I’ve put some 30 hours into Modern Warfare 3 multiplayer and there are times when I may as well just hand all my kills to the opposing side. It’s brand of hyper-speed insta-kill can make for an exhausting experience. CS: GO, though, is balanced to an absurd degree and fun right the way down to its Desert Eagle and chancy knife kills. Humiliating the other guy in GO isn’t as easy as you’d hope.

The sit-out nature of Classic forces care and teamwork, while Arms Race incessantly injects you with lead heroin, gouging you through the weapons set in a murderous drive for victory. I played 360 Demolition with Valve’s Chet Faliszek in San Francisco this summer; again, it’s just shooter crack. You’re in, you’re shooting, you’re winning and losing, and you’re winning and losing because you’re the winner or the loser. Not because someone else has better gear that you. Or a better internet connection.

You have to shoot people, properly, for a long time, to kill them. The weapons are well-balanced to the point of absurdity, with a full suite of SMGs, assault rifles, shotguns, scoped rifles and pistols all making for a game with mainline appeal and challenging depth, a game in which all people are equal and the only law is gun.

I like FPS. I play it a lot. I play most major shooting games, because I have a Twitter-based attention span and I care very little for “story”. I like to load games, shoot things, then turn them off. I play L4D by myself because it lasts 10 minutes and it’s over when I’m bored. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, the fourth game in a series boasting 27 million sales, was made for me. I may not be very good at it, nor will I ever be, and nor do I care. It’s brilliant. Buy this today. It’s a new Valve game for €14. Hit me up on Steam: I’m patlike.



  1. Stavrosmct

    Might look into this one…need a new shooter big style, and get pumped really bad on MW3 online etc

    #1 2 years ago
  2. Patrick Garratt

    Get it! It’s awesome fun.

    #2 2 years ago
  3. Giskard

    Valve just had to go and release a game now, did they?

    I’m already knee-deep in Darksiders 2, and I’m just holding out for Borderlands 2. Now I want this too. Stupid lack of time!

    #3 2 years ago
  4. mongbatstar

    The best thing I got from the EG Expo last year was a beta key for this.

    I’ve not played it anyway near enough what it deserves, but it is a great addition to the series. The guns feel great and the new map modes are intense and addictive.

    This is the first fps to make me curse out loud when I’ve died. Bastard.

    #4 2 years ago
  5. roadkill

    LOL! Yeah, I’ll just ditch BF and go play an arcade piece of s**t. Global Crapware ftl.

    #5 2 years ago
  6. manamana

    ^ thats actually what I am gonna do: drop BF3 for this competitive shooter.

    #6 2 years ago
  7. Sadismek

    I might try it. I usually like to pour time in competitive shooters.

    #7 2 years ago
  8. Hunam

    I used to play the original CS back in the day (b6.6 to r1.3) as pretty much the only game I played and logged several thousand hours and racked up insane amount of kills per game (I was like 14-16 at the time, I was just faster than everyone, ever). But I just can’t get my head around this one. The SMG’s are horrible, the gun recoil and spray patterns make little sense and it’s just not pushed CS forward in any meaningful way outside of a UI update and a new lick of paint.

    #8 2 years ago


    What have you done!!??

    You can actually aim!

    What sort of evil witchcraft did Valve put into this game!??

    Not sure if I should bother with this, since Valve don’t seem to have bothered trying to woo 360 users very hard… No beta, and having to wait an extra day? Bit silly, really.

    #9 2 years ago
  10. GwynbleiddiuM

    I used to play this CS 1.6 at professional level, until the government decided to ban the game entirely, so I had to find a real job. But judging from my experience from the beta, it is a pretty awesome successor to the original Counter-Strike game. It’s awesome and fun and have the potential to replace CS 1.6 on tournaments. We shall wait and see.

    #10 2 years ago
  11. mojo

    ive played cs and css for several hundreds of days but didnt play since a couple of years. but this will propably get me back into it.

    #11 2 years ago
  12. ManuOtaku

    Well i was on the fence of getting this for so many reasons but the words that made my mind were this : “a game in which all people are equal and the only law is gun”, thanks to you Pat i will get it as soon as i get home, thanks nice review.

    #12 2 years ago
  13. HeavyD-Love

    It is really good. I like the fast turnaround button with the smooth transition. That should be standard in all FPS from now on.

    Plus I love on the map selection screen they show both a picture of the level AND a map. TOo many games now-a-days don’t show anything on the map selection screen and it’s annoying when chosing a level (cough***killzone3***couph)

    #13 2 years ago
  14. DSB

    On PC it’s really good, especially for the price.

    #14 2 years ago
  15. delta41

    just downloaded the 45min trial.and i dont know if its me but the hit detection is bad.i was shooting this guy 5,6times for him to shot me once and i died.going to have to think long and hard on this one if im going to buy it.has bf3 has got a bit boring now..

    #15 2 years ago

    Just been playing it on 360, and I have to say that it’s pretty poor.

    After downloading it, I went straight into a bot game to get a feel before going online. First of all, the buttons were all swapped around from CoD’s, so I tried changing them around. It took me ages to actually figure out that “use” in the button config menu actually meant “buy menu” in the game, so there was a while where I was running around trying to shoot bots with nothing but a pistol, because it wouldn’t let me open the buy menu and buy another gun.

    That’s pretty awful design, right there. Spending 10 minutes going back into the button config menu over and over again trying to figure out what does what is a nonsense.

    Another major gripe was the sensitivity… It’s really low on 360. Even on the highest setting.

    I play CoD on it’s highest setting, so playing this just felt really sluggish. There’s no need for an instant 180 button if you turn up the sensitivity, because I can turn around that fast myself on CoD. Maybe faster.

    The voice chat was pretty bad for some reason, too. It sounded all fuzzy and echo-ey, so I could hardly tell what people were saying. It also took ages to mute people, for some reason.

    I’m not going to say much about the hit detection for now, because I only played a few rounds. It did seem a little ‘haphazard’, though.

    Obviously, the PC version almost certainly isn’t going to suffer from most of these issues, but they’re definitley there on 360, for now.

    If you’re interested in a console version of this game, I suggest you try the demo first.

    #16 2 years ago
  17. HeavyD-Love

    ^ Thanks for the COD to CS:GO comparison. I think as a standalone title for $15 this game is very good and has a lot to offer.

    Besides the graphics being obviously outdated, I think CS:GO is wicked fun. I love the quick turnaround button. I’ve never seen it before in a FPS and think it should now be in ALL of them.

    If you don’t like the controls you can remap them, but I had no problems.

    Nice of them to even give us bot mode AND weapons training modes for a $15 online multiplayer game.

    It should also be noted the load times are fast, and I get into games with no problems whatsoever.

    #17 2 years ago
  18. Talkar

    I played it when it was in beta and i honestly didn’t see enough new things that would warrant a new release or a purchase of said release. Then i discovered that the game was actually made for the consoles (which you can clearly see with the whole buy menu) and Valve decided they might as well port it over to the PC. I’m not saying it is a bad port, just that i don’t see the appeal of this one… The funny thing is that the game actually started out by CS:S being ported to the consoles, and then GO was made on top of that and the ported over to the PC xD

    #18 2 years ago
  19. Lounds

    CS:GO is mint, COD players won’t like it because it doesn’t have auto-aim. It’s a very hard game to be good at, if you want a challenge and love shooting games but hate how easy it is to be good on COD get this game. The guy saying about hit detections is talking bs, he probably sprayed his gun, the game is a bitch like that, but its probably more realistic than COD in that sense, guns on auto stood up aren’t that accurate. Crouching and standing still is best way for accuracy on CS. No regen health is a bonus. I’ve been playing CSS since 2006.

    #19 2 years ago
  20. pukem0n

    the game is poor, but its from valve so it will get scores from 90-100…

    #20 2 years ago
  21. Talkar

    ^It is a pretty damn solid game. It just doesn’t bring anything new to the genre, let alone the franchise.

    #21 2 years ago

    The controls are poor on 360.

    There’s no way around it.

    I’m sure it’s amazing on PC, but I can’t see this selling well on console.

    #22 2 years ago
  23. Dimaco

    Cool! Your review convinced me to buy the game, downloading now. I’ll give it a thorough first session tomorrow… Can’t wait!

    #23 2 years ago
  24. mad1723

    I’m not too good at this game, but I still added you Pat! I’ll be up for some games sometime! :D

    #24 2 years ago
  25. Moonwalker1982

    I tried it on my 360, but i think it’s not for me. I really miss the ability to aim down the sights.

    #25 2 years ago
  26. stretch215

    No a.d.s. + 6-8 bullets per kill = no buy for me. If I shoot you in the torso with an ak47 you are NOT going to turn around and shoot me. You will be on the ground, dying.

    #26 2 years ago
  27. DSB

    It could not ever be 6 bullets stretch. Maximum of 4 against an armored enemy, with the standard assault rifles. Headshot = Dead.

    CoD’s multiplayer is heavily inspired by CS, so I don’t really see your point.

    In my experience you need the exact same degree of reflexes, if not more so, since the recoil is pretty vicious, and you have to time your shots.

    It’s just a pure, competitive shooter. Like CoD stripped down, no bells and whistles, but with an even more unforgiving focus on skill and reaction.

    That’s talking for the PC version of course. No console shootering unless it’s Halo or Killzone :P

    #27 2 years ago
  28. stretch215

    Exactly.4 bullets is too much. I play cod on hardcore, 1-2 bullets max. Why do you mention cod anyway? My original post has nothing to do with cod. Edit: there are definitely times it takes more than 4 bullets/kill. Either way, I’m destroying the other team right now during my trial. It’s actually quite easy.

    #28 2 years ago

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