Valve’s Handbook for New Employees is full of awesome

Saturday, 21st April 2012 21:49 GMT By Stephany Nunneley

Even wondered what it would be like to work at Valve? Any fan of the developer has at one point or another, and if the new employee handbook is any indication of what it’s like clocking in at the Valve offices everyday, you might wish to apply. Today. According to a poster on the Flamehaus forum, ans email from Valve’s Greg Coomer states the handbook was created as a way to make things “as easy as we could for new people to join the company,” noting it was also fun to “capture these thoughts and put them all in one place.” You can read the PDF here, and while you are perusing, feel free to chuckle at the illustrations therein.



  1. someguy2


    #1 3 years ago
  2. DSB

    Getting their moneys worth out of the writing staff :P

    #2 3 years ago
  3. endgame

    I knew some of this stuff. I have seen their offices. In photos. But there were a lot of photos. And they had annotations. :) Still. Great read. Love Valve. Even more than before. There are not many companies who treat their customers like Valve does. Except maybe CD Projekt. :)

    #3 3 years ago
  4. Sini

    They forgot to include the funnies, like

    #4 3 years ago
  5. sg1974

    I must take issue with Fig. 2-4. Please do not talk to a man while he is holding his penis. That is, unless you are a woman seeking sexual congress/coitus.

    Also, I’m reminded of one of General Colin Powell’s golden rules for senior leaders: The guy on the front line is right unless proved otherwise.

    #5 3 years ago
  6. manamana

    ^ you missed the clue. Check that image again. Yes, its ironic. Check the “astonished” lines …

    #6 3 years ago
  7. Bellisner

    “Empty Shelf on Fifth Floor
    —Place we’re planning on putting all those
    awards for Ricochet once the gaming world finally catches up with it.”


    #7 3 years ago
  8. Charlie Sheen


    #8 3 years ago
  9. Telepathic.Geometry

    I read the whole thing, and was riveted every inch of the way. It’s astonishing that this kind of business practice works. I think the biggest thing that they have going for them is that they don’t have shareholders to answer to. That’s fantastic… :)

    #9 3 years ago
  10. TheBlackHole


    But they DO have publishers to answer to. They don’t release their own games on console, and they will inevitably be working to deadlines, even they do own their own IP.

    #10 3 years ago
  11. freedoms_stain

    @10, nein, “Publishers” of Valve’s games on Consoles are little more than Distributors. It’s not the same relationship as say Obsidian and Bethesda for New Vegas.

    #11 3 years ago
  12. TheBlackHole


    Sorry, but are you suggesting that EA spend $,$$$,$$$ on marketing and PR without being guaranteed a release date?

    However much ‘control’ Valve have, any partnership that involves a publisher forking out millions will come with various deadlines, caveats, restrictions etc.

    Valve are not immune to the way this industry works, just because they defy that pattern internally.

    #12 3 years ago
  13. DSB

    @12 When did that happen? Valve did all their own marketing for Portal 2. EA distributed, and recieved money for that.

    Generally when you pay people to provide a service, they don’t try to tell you what to do.

    #13 3 years ago

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