Wed, Jul 06, 2011 | 06:42 BST
Square Enix announces ridiculously named 3DS Final Fantasy rhythm game
Let’s play a quick game. Read the following sentences, and try to spot the exact point where all known sanity flees the scene screaming. First, a portable rhythm game. Second, a portable Final Fantasy rhythm game. Third, a portable Final Fantasy rhythm game called “Theatrhythm.”
Give up? It was all a trick. In a Shyamalanian twist, sanity was dead all along.
According to Famitsu (via Andriasang), Square Enix is blowing “duodecim” out of the water with upcoming “theater rhythm action” game Final Fantasy: Theatrhythm. The game apparently features a cutesy, chibi art style and takes the form of a fully fledged, but more old-school leaning Final Fantasy RPG.
Battles, however, involve tapping the touch screen to the catchy beats of classic Final Fantasy music. Because when we say “One-Winged Angel,” you think “To the dance floor!”
The story, meanwhile, centers around characters from Final Fantasy’s storied past attempting to “return light to the crystal.” Just, you know, with the pied piper-like power of music this time.
So yes, this is happening. Now then, Sephiroth, let’s take it from the top. No, no, no! It’s step, step, step, jazz hands, and then viciously impale Aerith. God. Such an amateur.