Wed, Apr 13, 2011 | 18:24 BST
ESRB – L.A. Noire contains blood spurts, racist language, pubic hair
There’s nothing funnier, sometimes, than the descritpion of a game given by the ESRB, especially when it mentions the hair that grows around one’s nether regions.

Below, you will find the ESRB description for L.A. Noire. There’s bits in there about foul and racists language, nudity, blood, violence and the like.
Meanwhile, the BBFC mentions that it will contain “5 hours and 12 minutes of cutscenes” and “3 hours and 25 minutes of supplementary gameplay footage.”
Enjoy.
Game’s out on May 17 for Xbox 360 and and announcement regarding PS3 exclusive content is coming soon.
This is an ‘open-world’ action-adventure game in which players assume the role of Cole Phelps, a rookie detective on a mission to stop a deranged serial killer. Set in late 1940s Los Angeles, the game allows players to advance through various ‘desks’ at a police department (i.e., Patrol, Traffic Squad, Homicide, Vice, Arson) by interviewing witnesses and suspects, searching crime scenes for clues, and apprehending criminals.
Players use pistols, rifles, machine guns, and flamethrowers to engage in firefights with various enemies — these shootouts are highlighted by realistic gunfire, cries of pain, and blood spurts that stain injured characters and the surrounding environment. Cutscenes also depict instances of violence, including a character being beaten with a crowbar (off screen)—large spurts of blood are depicted in the foreground.
During the course of the game, players may come across crime scenes in which badly beaten or mutilated corpses are subject to investigation; players are able to examine victims’ bodies close-up, surveying various bruises and bloody cuts for evidence — a few female corpses are depicted fully nude with fleeting images of pubic hair.
Investigations sometimes pertain to sexual assault crimes, and details are often conveyed in clinical terms through dialogue or on-screen text (e.g., ‘He’s some kind of sex fiend,’ ‘Woman’s briefs torn at seams, forcibly removed,’ and ‘Head trauma . . . external bruising to genitals.’). In one cutscene, there is an implication that a character is engaged in a sexual relationship with a teenager (e.g., ‘You take love where you can find it as you get older, Jack’/That has nothing to do with love . . .’). Some sequences allow players to collect/manipulate drug-related evidence such as marijuana packets, morphine syringes, or amphetamine pills; in one cutscene, a doctor can be seen injecting a character with morphine.
Language such as ‘f*ck,’ ‘sh*t,’ ‘c*nt,’ ‘n**ger,’ and ‘sp*c’ can be heard in the dialogue.
Thanks, D’toid.


9 comments
#1
Blerk
13/04/11, 6:29 pm
Pubic hair is exclusive to pre-orders from GAME.
#2
AHA-Lambda
13/04/11, 6:39 pm
@1 – oh god i loled XD
#3
Stephany Nunneley
13/04/11, 6:40 pm
@1 LOL!
“Hi. I’m Kris Kristofferson….” NVM. lol.
#4
xino
13/04/11, 7:23 pm
i think I’m going to be racist tonight:)
#5
Nozz
13/04/11, 7:28 pm
@1 LMAO. Reminds me of a time when my friend bought some James Bond game on PS2 pre-owned and it had shit smeared on the middle pages of the manual. Guess which shop he bought that from?? :p
#6
Dannybuoy
13/04/11, 8:59 pm
But is it real hair or are they merkins? Look up merkins if you don’t know what they are…
#7
The_Deleted
13/04/11, 10:56 pm
@1 – oh god i loled XD
this ^
I got in sooo much trouble at work when I told the girls about merkins….
Not half as much as when I told them about Blue Waffle, though….
#8
albo88
14/04/11, 9:55 am
racist language? infarct there is a nigger you interrogate in the game cant wait even if he is innocent ill put it in jail
#9
FeaturePreacher
14/04/11, 5:02 pm
@8
Republican alert!