Rumour: “GTA V is set in…”

Monday, 26 July 2010 09:45 GMT By Patrick Garratt


“Heathrow’s off at the next exit.”

“I should have bought my sat nav.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“This morning wasn’t so good.”
“I suppose it isn’t easy leaving them for trips.”
“Yes. Look.”
“It was more than that. And this isn’t a trip, as such. Thanks for coming to help with the car.”
“It’s nothing. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Don’t, alright? Not now.”
“Sorry. What’s up?”
“I told her.”
“Told her what?”
“I told her I’m gay.”


“I told her I’m gay.”
“I thought this is what you wanted.”
“Jesus. Well, yes. But. Fuck. Turn off here.”
“Are you sure you’re gay?”
“The ‘bumming men’ gave it away, I think. Well, ‘bumming man’.”
“There was never anyone else.”
“Oh my God. What about the kids?”
“I don’t know. I’m dying. I just had to tell her and go.”
“I. I.”
“This isn’t about you. I mean, it is, but I had to do it. Pass me a cigarette, will you.”
“Yes. Here.”


“Look, I have to say this. Hang on: where the fuck are you going?”
“America. I’ll be back in about a month. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t ideal. I’m very glad you could come with me today.”
“There’s still an us?”
“Yes, of course.”
“OK. Look, I’m so sorry. About the funeral. And the other times. I’ll really try to lay off it from now on. I think I was hitting it so hard because of the situation between the two of us. I’ve been seriously fucked up by the whole thing.”
“I know. And I’m sorry too. I. I’m not normally such a cunt. I’ve been horrible to my wife. And to you.”
“What did she say?”
“She said she knew something was going on, but when I told her it was a man she was stunned.”

[window, flicking sound]

“I know this sounds awful, but I’m extremely happy.”
“I know you are.”
“There’s a space there.”

[seatbelts and doors slamming. suitcase and boot. remote key lock. break in recording. static for approximately 11 minutes]

“OK. I’m going to check in.”
“I have to. I’m going.”
“No, I don’t mean that. I. Oh God. I.”
“I love you.”

[pause. muffled tannoy]

“I love you too.”

[crying, a crushing sound]

“OK. I really am going.”
“OK. Please call me.”
“I will.”


“What about that story you mentioned?”
“[laughs] You’re shocking.”
“Man’s got to live.”
“This is a big one. And they’re about to close your gate.”
“No problem. We’re in an airport. It’s full of planes.”
“It’s GTA V.”
“About time.”
“It’s not easy.”
“I know. Did you get the setting?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“It’s set in Hollywood.”


“That’s what I’ve been told.”
“Seems small.”
“Yeah, well. I didn’t make it.”
“Come on.”
“You asked Rockstar?”
“No comment.”
“They’re going to announce it soon.”
“I don’t know. I think it’s going to be at the Max Payne 3 event. ‘Soon’ is all that was said. I doubt GI’s canvassing opinion on location for fun.”
“I saw that, yeah.”
“That’s it.”
“OK. I appreciate it.”
“No sweat. I’ve got another good one for you. Maybe that’ll help make your mind up about coming back from the US.”
“No doubt.”