Sections

Rumour: “GTA V is set in…”

Monday, 26 July 2010 09:45 GMT By Patrick Garratt

heathrow

“Heathrow’s off at the next exit.”

“I should have bought my sat nav.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“This morning wasn’t so good.”
“I suppose it isn’t easy leaving them for trips.”
“Yes. Look.”
“What?”
“It was more than that. And this isn’t a trip, as such. Thanks for coming to help with the car.”
“It’s nothing. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Don’t, alright? Not now.”
“Sorry. What’s up?”
“I told her.”
“Told her what?”
“I told her I’m gay.”

[pause]

“What?”
“I told her I’m gay.”
“What?”
“I thought this is what you wanted.”
“Jesus. Well, yes. But. Fuck. Turn off here.”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you’re gay?”
“The ‘bumming men’ gave it away, I think. Well, ‘bumming man’.”
“Really?”
“There was never anyone else.”
“Oh my God. What about the kids?”
“I don’t know. I’m dying. I just had to tell her and go.”
“I. I.”
“This isn’t about you. I mean, it is, but I had to do it. Pass me a cigarette, will you.”
“Yes. Here.”

[zippo]

“Thanks.”
“Look, I have to say this. Hang on: where the fuck are you going?”
“America. I’ll be back in about a month. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t ideal. I’m very glad you could come with me today.”
“There’s still an us?”
“Yes, of course.”
“OK. Look, I’m so sorry. About the funeral. And the other times. I’ll really try to lay off it from now on. I think I was hitting it so hard because of the situation between the two of us. I’ve been seriously fucked up by the whole thing.”
“I know. And I’m sorry too. I. I’m not normally such a cunt. I’ve been horrible to my wife. And to you.”
“Here.”
“Yes.”
“What did she say?”
“She said she knew something was going on, but when I told her it was a man she was stunned.”

[window, flicking sound]

“I know this sounds awful, but I’m extremely happy.”
“I know you are.”
“There’s a space there.”

[seatbelts and doors slamming. suitcase and boot. remote key lock. break in recording. static for approximately 11 minutes]

“OK. I’m going to check in.”
“Don’t.”
“I have to. I’m going.”
“No, I don’t mean that. I. Oh God. I.”
“What?”
“I love you.”

[pause. muffled tannoy]

“I love you too.”

[crying, a crushing sound]

“OK. I really am going.”
“OK. Please call me.”
“I will.”

[pause]

“Wait.”
“Yes?”
“What about that story you mentioned?”
“[laughs] You’re shocking.”
“Man’s got to live.”
“This is a big one. And they’re about to close your gate.”
“No problem. We’re in an airport. It’s full of planes.”
“It’s GTA V.”
“About time.”
“It’s not easy.”
“I know. Did you get the setting?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“And?”
“It’s set in Hollywood.”
“OK.”

[pause]

“Really?”
“That’s what I’ve been told.”
“Seems small.”
“Yeah, well. I didn’t make it.”
“Who?”
“Come on.”
“You asked Rockstar?”
“No comment.”
“Right.”
“They’re going to announce it soon.”
“When?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s going to be at the Max Payne 3 event. ‘Soon’ is all that was said. I doubt GI’s canvassing opinion on location for fun.”
“I saw that, yeah.”
“That’s it.”
“OK. I appreciate it.”
“No sweat. I’ve got another good one for you. Maybe that’ll help make your mind up about coming back from the US.”
“No doubt.”

[pause]

“Bye.”
“Bye.”

Latest

  • Advanced Warfare’s Exo Zombies gets a “mini boss” with Ascendance DLC

    Zombies mode gets an exo-kick up the ass with Advanced Warfare’s second DLC drop, Ascendance. When Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare’s Ascendance DLC drops this week, players will be going up against some tougher challenges in Exo Zombies mode. “It’s all zombies, all of the time,” says High Moon Studios Matt Tieger, head of the […]

  • GTA Online user videos show out of character Lester, important Police Business

    You know, Lester isn’t as soft as he lets on, at least in these two GTA Online videos he’s not. The first one below is from YouTube user 10Phoenix01 Gamer, showing Lester kick a guy’s ass. It’s apparently punishment for running over the player – at least that’s the way it appears. A second video […]

  • Guild Wars 2 devs explain how the Map Bonus system, precursor crafting work in Heart of Thorns

    ArenaNet has posted information on the Guild Wars 2 website explaining how crafting mastery, and crafting a legendary weapon, will work in the Heart of Thorns expansion. There’s also information on the new Map Bonuses system, which will make acquiring crafting materials a more “directed activity” and streamlined experience. The new system will also add […]

  • Fly around your creations in Cities: Skylines with the Flight Cimulator mod

    Cities: Skylines players can now fly over their creations thanks to the Flight Cimulator mod. Created by Ulysius and available through the Steam Workshop, the mod allows the user to simulate flight through simple controls. According to the mod notes, it is still a work in progress as Ulysius plans to add building collisions , […]

  • The Walking Dead, Better Call Saul arrive on PlayStation Vue

    Sony has announced the addition of AMC to its PlayStation Vue service, which soft launched in Chicago, New York City and Philadelphia earlier this month. Those who use the service can now get their Better Call Saul and The Walking Dead fix, and also watch the Sundance channel, WEtv and IFC. AMC and WEtv are […]

  • Play the first level of Super Mario 64 in your browser

    Thanks to Roystan Ross and the Unity engine, you can play the first level of Super Mario 64 in your browser. This little nugget came to my attention yesterday, and unfortunately it became lost on my worksheet. Better late than never, I suppose. Anyway, the level is free-to-play and if you don’t wish to play […]

  • Steam’s Discovery Update has helped increase revenue for smaller titles

    Valve has said its Discovery Queue has increased product page views across Steam by 30% since the company launched the Discovery Update. According to Valve, 75% of those views come from the Discovery Queue, and 16% of product views can be attributed to the Discovery Queue. Even Steam Tags clicks have increased. The system is […]

  • Halo: The Master Chief Collection April update includes “more ranked playlists”

    The next content update for Halo: The Master Chief Collection will “address a variety of issues across the game,” according to 343 Industries, including specific improvements to ranking. New quit and betrayal penalties are also in the works as the development team prepares to roll out ranks to additional playlists. According to 343, the latest […]

  • Get Spec Ops: The Line for free through 2K Games sale on Humble Store

    A 2K Games sale is going on this weekend on the Humble Store with up to 83% off on select titles. Games on sale include Evolve, Bioshock, Civilization and other franchises. Plus, Spec Ops: The Line can be yours for free with the purchase of any -2K title on sale. To see the full list […]

  • Dota 2 The International 2015 tickets are sold out

    Tickets to Dota 2 The International 2015 are now sold out, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. The tickets went on sale in two phases starting March 27. Phase one sold out in six minutes, and phase two sold out in four minutes. Each round of sales offered the same quantity of General Admission tickets priced at […]

  • Here’s what’s expected in Battlefield 4′s Weapon Crate DLC – video

    A new Battlefield 4 drop is on the horizon, and to give you an idea of what to expect, we have a video for you below featuring information on the Weapon Crate DLC. According to Battlefield expert Westie, players can expect five new weapons along with the return of the Gun Master game mode. The […]

  • Pillars of Eternity issues to be addressed in patch 1.03, expected next week

    Obsidian Entertainment plans to release a Pillars of Eternity patch next week to combat issues users have reported. Until the patch is released, the developers have posted workarounds for some of the most common issues. The issues reported span framerate drops, inability to launch the game unless in administrator mode, crashes on 32-bit machines, animal […]

  • Mortal Kombat X videos show Erron Black gameplay, Ermac fatalities, more

    Erron Black, the gunslinger which was outed for Mortal Kombat X in the achievements listing last week, was featured in the latest livestream from NetherRelam Studios yesterday evening. Along with gameplay, fatalities and variations for Black, the developer also provided a look at gameplay for: Ermac vs Mileena; Ermac’s brutality and fatality moves; Lui Kang […]

  • The Legend of Zelda Wii U: 2015 release not a “priority”, skipping E3

    The Legend of Zelda franchise producer Eiji Aonuma is featured in the latest video update on the status of The Legend of Zelda for Wii U, stating a 2015 release is no longer a “number one priority” for the team. While Aonuma never specifically says the game has been delayed into 2016, the announcement confirms […]

  • Destiny gameplay designer exits for Bethesda

    Destiny’s senior gameplay designer Josh Hamrick announced on Twitter overnight he would be leaving the company in a week’s time for Bethesda. Hamrick joined Bungie in 2009 after working two years at Midway Austin, where he created multiplayer maps, modified single-player levels, and other designer functions. He was in charge of fixing bug in code […]

  • What to expect from the Call of Duty Championship this weekend

    Just settling down to the Call of Duty Championship this weekend? Here’s a rundown of today’s matches and what else to expect over the next three days. The Call of Duty Championship is taking place in LA this weekend until Sunday, with 32 four-player teams battling it out for a prize pot of $1 million. […]

  • MLB 15 The Show video highlights improved graphics, updated grass patterns

    Sony has released a video for MLB 15 The Show which provides a look at graphical improvements made to the game. Along with the visual upgrade over MLB 14 The Show, the game contains new minor league stadiums, dynamic sun generated in real-time, and upgraded grass patterns which reflect each stadium’s unique look. MLB 15 […]

  • Valve to offer HTC Vive Developer Edition free to qualified developers

    Valve has said it will offer the HTC Vive Developer Edition for free to qualified developers in an effort to buoy projects before the tech launches commercially. Surgeon Simulator developer Bossa Studios and The Room studio Fireproof Games are just some of the developers which already have a free Vive in-hand. According to Valve’s Doug […]

  • DriveClub gameplay video features MotorStorm’s off-road buggies

    Some gameplay footage of MotorStorm’s off-road buggies in DriveClub has surfaced. Pictures of the buggies were shown on the Japanese PlayStation Blog earlier this month, which considering the game was developed by Evolution Studios – which developed MotorStorm – this isn’t too much of a surprise. The buggies were first spotted by Videogamer, which pulled […]

  • Mortal Kombat X live-action TV spot features the track Chop Suey

    The TV sport for Mortal Kombat X has been released, and not only does it contain a “spontaneous fight circle” taking over an entire city, but it features the System of a Down track Chop Suey. Mortal Kombat X will be released on PC, PlayStation 3, PS4, Xbox 360 and Xbox One April 14. The […]

  • Bloodborne Forbidden Woods progression bug caused by multiplayer summon

    A progression bug in Bloodborne is in the works, according to Sony and From Software. The issue occurs when players activate a multiplayer session in the Forbidden Woods using the Sinister Resonant Bell or Small Resonant Bell. It also appears the Lunarium Key won’t appear because of the multiplayer bug, and without the key you […]

  • Yo-Kai Watch game franchise has sold over 7 million copies

    The Yo-Kai Watch IP has sold over 7 million copies, according to developer Level-5. The figure included both physical and digital download sales. Yo-Kai Watch 3 will be unveiled during Level-5 Vision 2015 next month. The first title is in the works for the west but is still without a release window. Thanks, Gematsu.

  • Bloodborne trademark returned to Sony after accidentally losing it

    In case you were worried or anything, Sony has once again obtained the Bloodborne trademark. Earlier this week it was revealed that Sony mistakenly abandoned the Bloodborne trademark along with four others registered with US Patent and Trademark Office: Guns Up!, Kill Strain; How Games Were Made to Sound, and No Heroes Allows: No Puzzles […]

  • GTA 5 PC official trailer coming next week, 15 new screenshots released

    New PC screenshots of GTA 5 have been released along with word of a new trailer coming on Monday. The screens below are from the PC version and you can view them in 4K glory over on Rockstar Newswire. The PC version of GTA 5 releases on April 14.

  • PSN real-time server status page launching in Europe soon

    PlayStation users in Europe will soon have its own a PSN Service Status Indicator. It was released earlier this month in North America. The indicator makes it easier to check whether PlayStation services are down or running as planned. This includes account management, PlayStation Now, the store, social services, etc. Sony told Eurogamer the service […]

  • Exclusivity contract prevents Bioware from revealing Dragon Age: Inquisition DLC release on PS4

    Bioware is unable to discuss when the Jaws of Hakkon DLC for Dragon Age: Inquisition will arrive on platforms other than PC and Xbox One. According to various tweets from executive producer Mark Darrah, due to the exclusivity contract between EA and Microsoft, the studio is unable to announce a release date for PlayStation 3 […]

  • LEGO Batman 3 demo, Namco Museum, more added to North American eShop

    Nintendo has updated the North American end of the eShop with a demo for LEGO Batman 3, Namco Museum on Wii U Virtual Console, and various sales. Below is the full update. Nintendo eShop Dot Arcade – Wii U LEGO Ninjago – 3Ds LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Demo – Wii U Harvest Moon: The […]

  • Square Enix’s Easter Surprise bundle contains five mystery PC games

    Square Enix offering another mystery bundle to customers in the UK, which comes with five mystery PC games for £3.99. As before, customers will be unaware of the games they are purchasing in the mystery bundle, but the bundle contains triple-A titles worth £40 combined. One of Square’s previous mystery bundles contained Tomb Raider, Just […]

  • From Software’s PSone game Shadow Tower coming to PSN

    Shadow Tower, the first-person action-RPG developed for the original PlayStation by From Software, will be released on PlayStation Network. In the 1998 title, players took on the role of a mercenary who has returned home to the Holy Land of Zeptar to find the place has been sucked into the Underworld. He must use the […]

  • PlayStation TV gets price cut in the UK, now £44.99

    PlayStation TV has received a price cut in the UK. After several retailers started offering the console for less than the RRP of £84.99, users on DealSpwn began to wonder whether this is an official price cut, and not just regular deals or stock clearance. Sony later confirmed the new price of £44.99. “Starting from […]

91 Comments

  1. Tallon 4

    Wahaha! Awesome job :)

    #1 5 years ago
  2. Joe Anderson

    Legend.

    #2 5 years ago
  3. Danbojones

    There are no words.

    #3 5 years ago
  4. BillyBatts

    This series is even better than those 80′s Nescafe adverts.

    #4 5 years ago
  5. HuntingJake

    What is this?, I don’t even…

    #5 5 years ago
  6. Blerk

    Heh heh – awesome! When’s the next one? :-D

    Oh yeah, and hurry up with the GTA announce. When’s the Max Payne 3 thing?

    #6 5 years ago
  7. Hunam

    I like how London is the only city in GTA to use it’s actual name.

    #7 5 years ago
  8. yamaz

    Guys, just give the goddamn news. This is boring.

    #8 5 years ago
  9. mington

    If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club

    #9 5 years ago
  10. deanimate

    GTA V is set in a shoe

    #10 5 years ago
  11. AHA-Lambda

    what is this, i dont even…

    #11 5 years ago
  12. www.Pro-eSports.com

    Is this just a made up story by the author or is this actualy news? If it’s news then what is the source?

    #12 5 years ago
  13. Psychotext

    What’s in the original article actually happened. It’s a true story, and it’s just that Pat leads an interesting life.

    #13 5 years ago
  14. Erthazus

    GTA V Holywood, O’RLY?

    #14 5 years ago
  15. daytripper

    i dont get this

    #15 5 years ago
  16. Zarckan

    I’d safer go with Los Santos as a whole, not just “Vinewood” ….

    #16 5 years ago
  17. Petulant Radish

    I also don’t understand this? Does it mean I effectively have the cognitive function of a cupcake or is it deliberately obtuse?

    Aside from saying GTA V is set in Hollywood of course, which does seem a little small now you come to mention it.

    #17 5 years ago
  18. onlineatron

    So GTA is set in Patrick’s twisted mind?

    News!

    #18 5 years ago
  19. Callum

    An odd story to wake up to on a Monday morning.

    #19 5 years ago
  20. Mafro

    Can you not just post the rumour in a non-self-fellating way?

    #20 5 years ago
  21. onlineatron

    @Mafro

    Shhh, watching Patrick stroke his mind penis is the highlight of my day!

    I mean…. :/

    #21 5 years ago
  22. KAP

    GTA 5 is set on the M25… figures. Lets hope it doesnt get crashes as much. Get it?

    #22 5 years ago
  23. daytripper

    @22 that was poo poo

    #23 5 years ago
  24. KAP

    @23 Yeah it was to be fair.

    #24 5 years ago
  25. LOLshock94

    that was so unfunny

    #25 5 years ago
  26. No_PUDding

    It’s better than the Nescafe, Renault Clio, and newer BT adverts combined.

    I don’t get the funeral nd other times though. :/

    #26 5 years ago
  27. Tonka

    Who’s gay?

    #27 5 years ago
  28. Enkeixpress

    GTA V is set in London :)

    #28 5 years ago
  29. socojava

    I’m 12 and what is this

    #29 5 years ago
  30. Dr.Ghettoblaster

    Have to agree with #8…..I for one don’t have time to read all this non-sense. Just report the news please.

    #30 5 years ago
  31. soqquatto

    this looks like clever, sounds like clever, smells like clever. but is it clever? it’s not. boring, more like.

    #31 5 years ago
  32. Psychotext

    First time I’ve seen so many complaints about one of these.

    #32 5 years ago
  33. mington

    i found it empowering

    Hollywood is so blah, they should set it on Mars

    #33 5 years ago
  34. The Hindle

    Im calling bullshit, no 1 Rockstar are a one game at a time company why would they announnce GTA at a Max payne 3 event which would then overshadow Max payne 3, like i said bullshit. As for the setting Eurogamer are backing this up so its looking likely.

    #34 5 years ago
  35. Dr.Ghettoblaster

    @32 and Patrick Garratt:
    I had to get the location of “Hollywood” from a different site cause at work I don’t have time to read all the dialoge/text in these types of “articles”..

    #35 5 years ago
  36. Blerk

    Practically every other game news site on the internets is linking to this story now. Needless to say, not many non-VG247ers are ‘getting it’. :-D

    #36 5 years ago
  37. The Hindle

    :D Pat you have been burned today.

    #37 5 years ago
  38. daytripper

    @37 did you know, that in the next 27 years, Pat will lose all of his teeth?

    #38 5 years ago
  39. mington

    from all the cock gobbling?

    #39 5 years ago
  40. Dr.Ghettoblaster

    “next GTA rumored to be in Hollywood”.

    That’s really all you need to say.

    In fact, that’s what the other 5 sites (including IGN) DO say. Makes for a much easier read IMO for someone scanning articles. Again, just my personal feedback is all. Love this site – hate these type’s of “convo articles”. :)

    #40 5 years ago
  41. The Hindle

    Hasnt GTA already done Hollywood tho with San andreas.

    #41 5 years ago
  42. daytripper

    Rockstar definitely researching Hollywood

    http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/rockstar-definitely-researching-hollywood

    #42 5 years ago
  43. mington

    GTA Bollywood

    Just by changing one letter, this game has become a million times more interesting

    #43 5 years ago
  44. The Hindle

    How about GTA Basra? dodging IEDS as a mission.

    #44 5 years ago
  45. daytripper

    GTA Vice City 2: Ray Liotta needed the money

    #45 5 years ago
  46. mington

    If it is Hollywood, i really hope its set in the 1950′s or any other time period other then present day

    present day is rubbish, far to muggy for my liking

    #46 5 years ago
  47. daytripper

    @46 the 70s or 80s :-D. mingle in a club travolta is showing off in or go to a restaurant to get Judd Nelsons autograph on your Breakfast Club betamax tape

    #47 5 years ago
  48. freedoms_stain

    @43, I can see it now, massively epic dance routine, all singing, all dancing, 200 cast, hero and heroine front and centre doing their shit, then BAM Mutha Fuckin 50′s US gas guzzling convertable (Indian copy) pulls a 180 right through the middle of the whole shebang leaving a perfect arc of scorched tyre marks and bloody mangled corpses.

    Shiny sequenced bloody mangled corpses.

    Get’s 50 yards down the road and BAM same thing happens again. Cus that’s how they roll in Bollywood yo. Can’t move for 200 strong dance routines.

    #48 5 years ago
  49. Dr.Ghettoblaster

    I second #45!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!

    #49 5 years ago
  50. Kerplunk

    When your regular readers resort to going elsewhere to get the information you’ve obnoxiously hidden in your self-fellating waffle, that’s a clear sign that you’re doing it wrong.

    The only people that care about a journalist’s ego are other egotistical journalists.

    #50 5 years ago
  51. Blerk

    Is it really so hard to scan down the text and pick out the bit that’s actually about GTA? :-)

    #51 5 years ago
  52. Crysis

    There is no explanations to this, just seems like 2 people talking, i’m confused, WHERE’S THE SUBTEXT FOR US LAZY, DUMB ARSES OUTHERE!?!?!

    #52 5 years ago
  53. mington

    Every time someone reads this article a fairy dies

    #53 5 years ago
  54. Gekidami

    Hum, i could be wrong but wasnt Vinewood a part of SA?

    #54 5 years ago
  55. Blerk

    Do you mean fairies, or ‘fairies’?

    #55 5 years ago
  56. Kerplunk

    @51 About as hard to scan past a comment that you may wish to ignore. ;)

    When that IGNORE button comes in can we get a “strip out the egotistical wankfiction and cut to the chase” button please?

    #56 5 years ago
  57. Dr.Ghettoblaster

    @51. Yes. Annoying as hell too. :)

    #57 5 years ago
  58. Patrick Garratt

    Good Lord. I think I’ll open the ongoing plot up to public poll. Like the BT ads. And Gears of War 3.

    *cigar*

    #58 5 years ago
  59. aleFH

    What the fuck is this? O_o

    #59 5 years ago
  60. G1GAHURTZ

    Ohhhh… I get it!

    Pat’s coming out.

    #60 5 years ago
  61. yacaman

    Hollywood

    “No problem. We’re in an airport. It’s full of planes.”
    “It’s GTA V.”
    “About time.”
    “It’s not easy.”
    “I know. Did you get the setting?”
    “Yeah, I did.”
    “And?”
    “It’s set in Hollywood.”
    “OK.”

    #61 5 years ago
  62. walk_star

    Write real articles please.

    #62 5 years ago
  63. Howie Feltersnatch

    This dialoge in place of where an article should be, makes the author look like an arrogant, conceeded prick. Not to mention an idiot given his response above…

    I’ll get my news elsewhere, thanks Patrick Garratt.

    #63 5 years ago
  64. Boris Fett

    @63 Don’t let the door hit you on the way out! =D

    #64 5 years ago
  65. Moonwalker1982

    So London? Hmmm…..don’t know about that one. For me what was missing in GTA IV was the countryside, everything non-city that was in San Andreas. Forests,mountains, you name it. I surely hope we’ll get to see more than just the city London with also outside of it.

    Oh wait, i read wrong. Its Hollywood…but everything else i said, i hope that’ll be in V too.

    #65 5 years ago
  66. Herlock

    Tired about US…, need GTA in Europe PLZ!!!

    #66 5 years ago
  67. Yoshi

    Wheres Vice City Damit!

    #67 5 years ago
  68. AHA-Lambda

    vice city 2!!!!

    and yeah seriously don’t do this shit again, skimming this i thought it was london it was set in and got kinda excited then i read the full thing. Hollywood is fine but london would be really cool

    A) why just why was this done like this
    B) you didn’t even state where the info came from!!

    so yeah….
    http://knowyourmeme.com/i/125/original/wrong10.jpg

    #68 5 years ago
  69. Mike

    If he states where the info came from, he’ll never be trusted with inside info again. Surely this is clearly obvious.

    #69 5 years ago
  70. AHA-Lambda

    i dont mean anything specific but even just a simple statement like “vg247 has been informed from an independent source that GTA V is possibly being set in hollywood” insteda of this guff.

    There’s a difference between that and just saying hollywood is the location within some weird ,arbitrary fictional backdrop like this

    #70 5 years ago
  71. Boris Fett

    Or how about people lighten up and just take it for what it is? Pat isn’t exactly known for being a dishonest reporter, so bitching about the way its written is utterly meaningless. The news is still being reported.

    Pat has been doing this for years, and he’ll be doing it for years to come. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Fucking entitled internet whiners. Jesus.

    #71 5 years ago
  72. Stephany Nunneley

    @71 Just for that Boris, I’ll be your Natasha any day :D

    #72 5 years ago
  73. Boris Fett

    @73 I’m not entirely sure what that’s means, but it sounds hot. *laughs* So okay, gladly!

    #73 5 years ago
  74. Psychotext

    Rocky and Bullwinkle

    #74 5 years ago
  75. Jun284

    What the hell is this dialogue bullshit??? Can’t you people just give straight news articles??? Is this a made up convo or one that actually happened? Who were the people talking??? I couldn’t care less about some homo telling a woman that he takes it up the butt.

    #75 5 years ago
  76. Psychotext

    It’s happened about four times in the last three years. Get over yourself.

    #76 5 years ago
  77. Boris Fett

    @75 Then go find your news somewhere else. The GROWN-UPS are too busy having a laugh at this to care.

    Don’t take the internet so goddamn seriously.

    #77 5 years ago
  78. Mike

    OMG this article is different and not straightforward, therefore I don’t like it. It demands that I use my brain a bit and doesn’t spell things out for me clearly.

    I hate life.

    #78 5 years ago
  79. Blerk

    Well, one thing’s for sure – after the reaction to this article today you can pretty much bet that Pat’ll…. be doing it again sooner rather than later. :-D

    #79 5 years ago
  80. Tonka

    Hahah, ROLF! Zippo, not zippER!

    Hahaha ;_;
    I read it wrong the first time.

    gods…

    Is this parodying anything btw? It feels as if something is going over my head…

    #80 5 years ago
  81. Johnny Cullen

    I feel the space and time continuum has ripped a bit after yesterday.

    #81 5 years ago
  82. Mike

    Yeah, I can smell it, too.

    #82 5 years ago
  83. BLunted

    what the fuck is this shit? can’t you just write a simple article?

    #83 5 years ago
  84. mington

    This article has made my anus bleed

    …or maybe that was the beerwurst

    #84 5 years ago
  85. daytripper

    @83 is your head made of lego?

    #85 5 years ago
  86. mington

    that would be sweet

    #86 5 years ago
  87. BLunted

    @85

    why? because I would like to get the gist without having to be subjected to some lame-ass attempt at writing a screenplay?

    #87 5 years ago
  88. daytripper

    I cant say, i’m under NDA

    #88 5 years ago
  89. mington

    I 4 won h8d it!!11!!1!

    Pat should cut off the fingers he used to type it with

    #89 5 years ago
  90. PopTarTs

    (I registered just to say this)For this new Grand Theft Auto (if it ever comes out)since there going back to Hollywood my suggestion is that they use C.J. from the original San Andreas for this new version of San Andreas,I think people would be very happy to see him still alive and kickin’ ass,but still its just a thought

    #90 5 years ago
  91. Crysis

    ya posted 12 days too late, this news is old

    #91 5 years ago

Comments are now closed on this article.

  • Hearthstone Blackrock Mountain is coming April 2

    Blizzard has given Hearthstone expansion Blackrock Mountain a solid release date. Hearthstone’s Blackrock Mountain adventure pack will be released April 2 in the Americas region, and April 3 in Europe, Korea, Taiwan, and China. Blackrock Depths is the first wing to be released, others will follow one week apart. Other than the 31 new cards, […]

  • Bloodborne: if you can’t load your save after installing firmware 2.50, this will help

    If you’re having issues loading your Bloodborne save after applying firmware update 2.50 to your PS4, this should help you out. Reddit user KBALLZZ encountered an issue after installing update 2.50 on his PlayStation 4. Bloodborne started reinstalling the day one patch again and when it was done he couldn’t continue his game or load […]

  • Use this code to get 10% off on PSN purchases

    Sony is offering a 10% discount coupon to anyone looking to buy games on PlayStation Store this weekend. Sony’s latest discount coupon code is here. You’ll receive 10% off your cart total when buying from the PSN Store. The offer is not valid on purchases made on PS Vita, PlayStation TV, PSP, or in-game stores. […]

  • Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin upgrade path announced, system specs revealed

    Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin will offer returning customers a chance to upgrade at a discounted price. Those who already own Dark Souls 2 on Steam and are interested in picking up the Scholar of the First Sin edition will be happy to know that publisher Bandai Namco is offering them an […]

  • Bloodborne: this is what happens when you have 40 Insight

    Insight is one of the currencies in Bloodborne, but it’s also a mechanic that affects the gameplay. There are MASSIVE SPOILERS below, so turn back now or one of Bloodborne’s gameplay mechanics will be SPOILED for you. Just like Blood Echoes in Bloodborne, Insight is used to purchase certain items from vendors in the game. […]

  • Phase two of Xbox One April update brings voice messages, dedicated servers for party chat, more

    The second phase of the April update for Xbox One is now open to members of the Preview programme and and it looks like there are even more features in store. Phase one of Xbox One’s April firmware update started a few days ago with improvements to party chat and achievements notifications. Today, phase two […]

  • GTA 5′s graphical “downgrade” is a bug, will be fixed in upcoming patch

    As of patch 1.8 for GTA 5 on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One, a few graphical issues have cropped up leading some to believe there has been a stealth downgrade to the game’s overall graphics. Over the past couple of days, Reddit went nuts over a video showing what appears to be a downgrade to […]

  • Destiny: Xur location and inventory for March 27, 28 – MIDA Multi-Tool edition

    Xur: Agent of the Nine has arrived at The Tower in Destiny to rid you of your Strange Coins. Xur: Agent of the Nine has once again made it to Destiny’s Tower to sell you Exotic weapons and gear in exchange for Strange Coins and Motes of Light. For this weekend, Xur can be found […]

  • Destiny vault space upgrade will have enough room for every Exotic

    Destiny is finally getting the vault space upgrade players have been begging for almost since launch week. Destiny players can currently use vault space to store 20 pieces of amour, 20 weapons and 20 general item stacks. In the latest Bungle Weekly Update, the developer revealed that as of patch 1.1.2, due before House of […]

  • Half-Life 2: Update mod applies some sparkle to the original title

    Half-Life 2: Update will be available tomorrow, and thanks to the modding community, those who own the vanilla version of the game can apply a visual update to the 2004 title. The comparison video shows you the differences between the original version, and the version with Half-Life 2: Update applied. Here’s what the mod includes: […]

  • Neverwinter MMO can now be pre-downloaded on Xbox One

    You can now pre-download the free-to-play Neverwinter MMO on Xbox One. The game launches on March 31, but you will still need an Xbox Live Gold account to play it. Based on the Dungeons & Dragons franchise, the game can be downloaded from the Xbox Store.

  • Destiny of Spirits will go offline starting next month

    Sony will be ending service for Destiny of Spirits starting next month, Sony has announced. The free-to-play Destiny of Spirits was released in late March 2014 on Vita, and tasked players with collecting supernatural forces appropriate to their geographical location, and then trading them with others online. Gravity Rush spirits were added to the game […]

  • MotoGP 15 is out this spring on PC, last and current-gen consoles

    MotoGP 15 will be released in June on PC, PlayStation 3, PS4, Xbox 360 and Xbox One, Milestone has announced. Bike, rider and team customization are part of the latest release in the franchise, along with time-trials and enhanced career options. The game features over 20 bike models divided into three classes: MotoGP, Moto 2 […]

  • Cities: Skylines players should check out Nakatomi Plaza and Wayne Enterprises

    Nakatomi Plaza and Wayne Enterprises can now be yours in Cities: Skylines. Die Hard fans will be familiar with Nakatomi Plaza. Those who have never watched the first film and live in Los Angeles know it by its real-life name, FOX Plaza. It was created by Enos Shenk and is available through Steamworks. Those who […]

  • Call of Duty franchise has sold 175M copies, players have thrown 300B grenades

    With the Call of Duty Championship kicking off tomorrow, Activision has sent over a series infographic full of interesting figures such as the number of copies sold over 10 years and how many grenades players have tossed. According to the stats below, the Call of Duty franchise has sold 175 million copies across all platforms […]

  • Save up to 75% on select SEGA games on Steam this weekend

    SEGA has put many of its games on sale through Steam this weekend and the firm has also announced Eastside Hockey Manager is now available through Early Access. The sale runs through March 30. The entire Total War, Company of Heroes and Dawn of War back catalogs are discounted 75% and all associated DLC is […]

  • Batman: Arkham Knight PC confirmed as digital download-only in UK

    Batman: Arkham Knight will indeed be a download-only title on PC in the UK, Warner Bros. has confirmed to VG247. Batman: Arkham Knight will be available as both a physical and digital release for PS4, Xbox One and PC in North America and Europe. Again, in the UK, the PC version will be “available as […]

  • Rainbow Six Siege release date set for October per GameStop Italy – report

    GameStop Italy may have let the release date for Rainbow Six Siege slip if a recent listing is accurate. According to the listing, the game will release on October 16. While this could be a placeholder date, October 16 is a Friday in the UK, the usual day new releases land at retail. The release […]

  • Watch the $1 million Call of Duty Championship right here

    The The Call of Duty Championship takes place this weekend, and you can watch all the action as it unfolds right here. The event takes place in Los Angeles tomorrow March 27 and runs through March 29, and the livestreams are below. 32 teams from five continents and 11 countries will be competing in Call […]

  • Battlefield Hardline: Battlefest kicks off this weekend with Double XP

    A new season of Battlefest kicks off this weekend, and starting today, you will earn Double XP in Battlefield Hardline. Battlefest for Hardline is similar to the event held for Battlefield 4 last year. For the entire month of April and into May, in-game events and competitions will be held by the developers and player […]

  • Don’t forget: the GTA 5 PC pre-order bonus cutoff is March 31

    Just a friendly reminder to those planning on purchasing GTA 5 for PC: you have until March 31 to pre-order if you want all the bonuses on offer. Those who pre-order will be handed $1 million in-game cash plus a bonus $300,000. It is split between GTA 5 and GTA Online: $500,000 for Grand Theft […]

  • Games with Gold offers doubled for April – six games instead of three

    Microsoft’s April Games with Gold collection is being doubled. For the month Xbox Live Gold members will receive six instead of three games free. Here’s what’s on offer: Pool Nation FX: Available all month on Xbox One Child of Light: Available all month on Xbox One Gears of War: Judgment: Available from April 1-15 on […]

  • Pokemon players can grab a code for Shiny Charizard at GAME in April

    Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire players along with Pokemon X and Y owners can grab a free, rare Shiny Charizard from April 3 at one of GAME’s 320 stores in the UK. The redeemable codes for the character will be made available upon request and no purchase is necessary. Those who pop into one […]

  • F1 2015 will arrive on PC, PS4 and Xbox One in June, includes Mexico circuit

    Codemasters has announced its F1 franchise will make its series debut on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One this June with the release of F1 2015. The game was developed using a new engine and contains improved handling and physics for all vehicles and parts attached. This includes: engine, transmission, aerodynamics, fuel tank, force feedback, suspension […]

  • Mortal Kombat X video confirms Liu Kang as playable character

    Liu Kang has been confirmed as a playable character in Mortal Kombat X in the latest video. You’ll also notice Bo’ Rai Cho in there as well. In the Shaolin trailer above you also get a look at Kung Lao and Kung Jin who is new to the series. Apparently, Raiden’s past champions of the […]

  • Short teaser for Star Wars: Battlefront shows the Battle of Hoth

    A short teaser for Star Wars: Battlefront has been posted by EA on Twitter. Well, that speeder isn't going anywhere. Can someone give us a lift to @SW_Celebration http://t.co/srEVrAA0zl #SWCA https://t.co/4W4LG8myke — EAStarWars (@EAStarWars) March 25, 2015 The teaser shows vehicles which we could be using in the game, but it mainly shows the snowy landscape […]

  • Pillars of Eternity releases today – get all the review scores here

    Pillars of Eternity, which still stands as the second most-funded video game on Kickstarter, finally releases today. It’s also getting some rather positive reviews scores, which we’ve rounded up for you. The isometric, party-based RPG from Obsidian Entertainment was one of the first video game projects to take to Kickstarter, and hit its $1.1 million […]

  • Take an in-depth look at Evolve’s Behemoth monster and four new hunters

    Evolve’s fourth monster, the Behemoth, as well as the four new hunters are shown off in new gameplay video. Evolve’s latest gameplay trailer gives everyone a good look at each of the four new hunters and the massive Behemoth monster. The hunters can be bought either separately or though the hunting pass, while the monster […]

  • PS4 firmware update 2.50 causing issues with Killzone: Shadow Fall

    The suspend/resume feature in PlayStation 4′s 2.50 firmware update is causing some issues with Killzone: Shadow Fall. Killzone: Shadow Fall developer Guerrilla has said that the game is experiencing some issues in some instance where the suspend/resume feature is used. The timing of when players put the game in suspend mode does have an effect, […]

  • Bungie on Destiny matchmaking: “We believe there’s no substitute for a pre-made team”

    Crazy though this may seem, it’s possible that Destiny shipped according to plan. History points to community as a crucial component, far from the contingency that many now suspect. Paul Davies spoke to Bungie for clarity. “The community always engineers the best solutions for bringing players together. While Matchmaking is a great resource for introducing […]

  • Bloodborne works with suspend/resume, but only offline

    PlayStation 4′s newly-added suspend/resume feature works with Bloodborne as you’d expect, but only while offline. PlayStation 4 received the long-awaited suspend/resume feature today as part of firmware 2.50, and people are starting to test it out with various games. Bloodborne does work with the feature, but only if you play offline. Playing online is arguably […]

  • This is what Crossy Road looks like in first-person

    Crossy Road is fun and addictive. But in first-person, it’s mostly frightening. YouTube user Andy Front Films likes Crossy Road so much he decided to show off what it would look like in first-person. If crossing roads quickly and watching around for cars and trains, all of this as the camera chases you felt intense […]

  • Take a small behind-the-scenes peek at Mass Effect 4

    BioWare cinematic director Ken Thain has given us a very slim look behind the scenes at some motion capture work from the upcoming Mass Effect game. The upcoming Mass Effect game, whether it ends up being called Mass Effect 4 or not, will most definitely incorporate some form of motion capture work. How do we […]

  • Borderlands: The Handsome Collection – 8GB day one patch on PS4, 16GB on Xbox One

    Day one patches for Borderlands: The Handsome Collection are pretty hefty. Both the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One versions of Borderlands: The Handsome Collection require players to download lots of gigabytes to make the experience as smooth as possible. The PlayStation 4 version has an 8.31GB day one patch. The Xbox One version however has […]

  • Get a PlayStation 4 with Bloodborne and The Last of Us for $435

    If you’ve been waiting for the perfect game to get to buy a PlayStation 4, there’s no better time than the present. Amazon is offering a good PlayStation 4 bundle at the moment. For $434.99, you get a PlayStation 4 console, The Last of Us, and Bloodborne. The Last of Us is of course the […]

  • Upcoming Battlefield Hardline patch to nerf the K10, buff battle rifles

    Battlefield Hardline’s first patch will focus on weapon balance and a few changes have been proposed. Battlefield Hardline lead multiplayer designer Thaddeus Sasser posted a few of the balance changes that the team is considering for the next patch. K10: reduce bullet damage to 33 Saiga and PTR: reduce recoil to bring more in line […]

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 and a new Resident Evil game coming this year, according to research firm

    According to digital games analyst SuperData, a new Resident Evil game is due this fall and that this year’s Call of Duty is Black Ops 3. In its latest report on digital console games, research and analytics firm SuperData revealed that a new Resident Evil is coming this fall. “We anticipate this month’s downturn to […]

  • Bloodborne: you can add gestures to your messages

    As players get deeper into Bloodborne, they keep uncovering so many of its little new additions, including this one. Bloodborne, like all of the Souls games before it, allows players to leave messages for other players. These messages could be used to point players towards impending doom, treasure, or just be sarcastic and witty. What […]

  • PlayStation 4 firmware update 2.50 is now live

    PlayStation 4 firmware update version 2.50 has started rolling out. Reports are coming in saying that Yukimura, PlayStation 4′s firmware 2.50 has been made available to download. The update is clocking in at just 245mb, so get downloading. 2.50 brings with it many new additions, including the suspend/resume feature, backup and restore, accessibility options and […]

  • Harley Quinn DLC for Batman: Arkham Knight is a prequel

    Batman: Arkham Knight’s Harley Quinn pre-order DLC is set before the events of the main game, according to Amazon’s description. Today we learned a few details about the pre-order DLC for Batman: Arkham Knight, namely the Harley Quinn one. According to the description on Amazon, the DLC takes place in the lead-up to the events […]

  • Bloodborne Vicar Amelia summon mystery solved

    Bloodborne players unable to summon near Vicar Amelia: here’s your solution. Bloodborne’s secrets are unfolding by the hour as clever players piece together From Software’s cunning design. Yesterday we reported problems summoning in the Cathedral Ward, before the Vicar Amelia boss fight. It turns out this isn’t a bug – or if it is, it’s […]

  • Steven Spielberg will direct film adaption of Ready Player One

    Steven Spielberg will direct the film adaption of the sci-fi, virtual world, video game themed novel Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Warner Bros. bought the rights to the film in June 2010 and hired screenwriter Zak Penn to rewrite the previous draft written by Eric Eason, according to Deadline. The book takes place in […]

  • Bloodborne players with PS4 headsets shouldn’t forget about the custom audio

    Here’s a friendly reminder for Bloodborne players with PS4 headsets: be sure to download the Headset Companion App from the PlayStation store if you haven’t already. As previously reported, the game supports a custom Bloodborne audio mode which can be uploaded. It contains custom audio created by developers specifically tuned to enhance the audio. This […]

  • EA explains why FIFA Ultimate Team transfer prices are now platform specific

    EA has posted a blog entry explaining its FIFA Ultimate Team transfer market price ranges which now include platform-specific pricing in order to best the coin sellers. EA said it has implemented the changes to FUT over the last several weeks because it should be “fair and fun for every player,” ultimately coming to the […]

  • Game of Thrones: Episode 3 – The Sword in the Darkness now available

    In case you forgot, Game of Thrones: Episode 3 – The Sword in the Darkness was released today. It is available on Mac, PC, PlayStation 3, PS4, Xbox 360 and Xbox One. The third episode releases on iOS devices and Android tomorrow, March 26. The Sword in the Darkness finds Asher Forrester heading to Mereen […]

  • Bloodborne players are already documenting their crazy antics

    Bloodborne has been available for almost two days now in North America, and already players are posting interesting clips and character customization choices for the game. Below are interesting takes on creating a character and videos of a frustrating death and another full of blood coming from a very painful place – monster or not. […]

  • FIFA Ultimate Team celebrates sixth year in existence with giveaways

    FIFA Ultimate Team is celebrating its sixth year in existence with special events running from today until March 29. According to EA, every FUT fan will be handed one free pack every day, and those who play at least one match in the FUT Birthday Cup will have a chance to win rare “tradable In-Forms” […]

  • Halo Online is a F2P PC game in development exclusively for Russia – video

    Halo Online is a free-to-play game which will launch this spring in Russia, and is in development with Saber Interactive. According the reveal event attended by IGN Russia, the game was designed to run well on lower-end PCs and runs on a modified Halo 3 engine. The game is set on a secret UNSC space […]

  • SteamWorld Dig Xbox One release expected in late May

    SteamWorld Dig is coming to Xbox One, developer Image & Form has announced. A firm release date hasn’t been announced, but the studio expects the title to arrive on the system in late May. “We’re preparing quite an elaborate Easter egg for the Xbox One version – a gaming thing that we really wanted to […]

  • SMITE celebrating first anniversary with a sale on skins, Ultimate God Pack

    Hi-Rez Studios is celebrating the first anniversary of SMITE with a sale. From today through Friday, March 27, the Ultimate God Pack, which includes all current and future Gods, will run you $19.99. Alll individual pre-launch skins are 50% off, and all Gem Packs will award bonus gems. In addition, from March 27-29, all SMITE […]

  • Borderlands 2 has sold around 12 million copies, says Gearbox

    Speaking with Microsoft’s Major Nelson in his podcast, Gearbox Software boss Randy Pitchford stated Borderlands 2 has sold somewhere around the 12 million mark. As of August 2014, it was announced by Take-Two in its financial report the 2012 game had sold-in 10 million units. Pitchford noted in the podcast he learned of the figures […]

  • Broken Age releasing on PS4 and Vita same day as Act 2 on PC

    Double Fine Productions has announced it will release Broken Age on the PlayStation Store next month. Act 2 will also be released on PC. The full Broken Age adventure will release on PlayStation 4 and Vita on April 28 in North America and April 29 in Europe. It features cross-buy and cross-save. Broken Age Act […]

  • Star Citizen earned another $1 million within two weeks – total hits $76 million

    Star Citizen continues its funding streak with backers pumping another $1 million into the game’s development in the last two weeks. The total earned for the space sim has now reached $76 million ($76,015,532 to be exact) with 851,395 backers contributing to the staggering figure. Star Citizen’s latest update was version 1.1 which included two […]

  • Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, Resident Evil Revelations 2 and Battlefield: Hardline top Media Create charts

    Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, Resident Evil Revelations 2 and Battlefield: Hardline were the big ticket debuts during the March 16-2 period in Japan, with each game claiming the top three slots on the Media Create charts, respectively. Final Fantasy Type-0 HD moved 92,094 on PlayStation 4, while Resident Evil Revelations 2 moved 73,373 units on […]

  • You can now learn English or Spanish on Xbox One with the Rosetta App

    Want to learn English or Spanish? Rosetta Stone has an App for that on Xbox One. According to the language teaching firm, Rosetta Stone’s Discover Languages, the new application teaches English and Spanish by way of immersive simulation. Users will virtually travel to learn vocabulary and grammar “necessary for real-world interactions.” Here’s how it works: […]

  • PayDay 2 and PayDay: The Heist have sold over 9 million units combined

    The PayDay franchise is a lucrative IP for Starbreeze and Overkill, as both games combined have sold over 9 million copies as of November 2014. The company has also sold over 8 million paid DLC packages since PayDay 2 was released in 2013 (via NeoGAF). In its Q2 half year report issued in February, net […]

  • Nintendo wants to “surprise” customers with NX, not expand upon existing hardware

    Nintendo president Satoru Iwata has firm wants to “surprise” players with its new NX system. Speaking in an interview with Nikkei, translated by Kotaku, Iwata wouldn’t go into details on the new system, but stated expanding on a current gaming system would be “dull.” “In the past few years, the idea of what [encompasses] a […]

  • Kojima Station show suspended

    In another episode in the the ongoing kerfuffle between Hideo Kojima and Konami, the publisher has suspended the Kojima Station web show. Recent tweets from the newly created Japanese Metal Gear Solid account confirm that Kojima Station will not be broadcast tomorrow, but would not provide a date for the next episode. The Tweets were […]

  • Watch Battle Royale for free this weekend on Xbox Live

    Square Enix is celebrating the launch of Final Fantasy Type-0 HD by offering Xbox Live members in the UK a free rental of Battle Royale. Starting Saturday, March 28 and through Sunday, March 29, Xbox Live members in the UK will be able to rent Battle Royale through the Xbox Video Store, for free. The […]

  • Bloodborne journal, part 1: managing anxiety on the path to the Cleric Beast

    Bloodborne is both like and unlike the Souls games. Brenna descends into Yharnam with reluctance and trepidation. Need help succeeding in Bloodborne? You need our Bloodborne walkthrough and boss guide. Bloodborne isn’t Demon’s Souls or Dark Souls. Let’s get that out of the way right off. I enjoyed both Dark Souls games, but it was […]