J Allard rumoured to be quitting Microsoft

“A very pissed J Allard ground his ass into my penis at an European E3 Xbox party once, because I think I annoyed him with a comment about Larry Probst.”

To think people like you call themselves journalists makes me sick in the stomach.

Is that you Larry?

@1 –

The courier looked so damn good. I hope when he resurfaces he appears in precisely the most annoying place for MS. Right now that could leave him quite a choice. Sony, Google, Apple…? Ninty?

He’s probably prohibited from joining certain firms by MS.

He most certainly will have a non-compete clause in his contract prohibiting him from working in the same field he was in but that might only apply to gaming.

If he went off to HP now that they own Palm to do some WebOS tablet I doubt Microsoft would object.

That was incredibly childish and unprofessional.

The guy who made the 360 wasn’t fired…

“A very pissed J Allard ground his ass into my penis at an European E3 Xbox party once, because I think I annoyed him with a comment about Larry Probst.”

Really pat really

@9 – Yep. He was hammered. It was the same year Peter Moore had his Halo tattoo. I was at EG then. Was there with Kristan Reid (who was also completely fucked, if I recall correctly). Good times. I think.

Did you push back?

Wrong question… Did you enjoy it?

It was a bit mental. I’d just stopped drinking, so I was completely sober. I used to drink an awful lot, and don’t at all now, so I was feeling a bit like a fish out of water. He was ordering rounds of cocktails at the bar and shouting, “Let’s get fucked!” I’d given him a really hard time in an interview at E3 in a previous year when I was on CVG, and had a bit of a “reputation” at Microsoft for asking execs difficult questions. He used to call me “the troublemaker” when I interviewed him. I spoke to him late on in the evening and he was properly rocking, and I really didn’t know what to say to him. This was the year they announced that EA games were going to be on Xbox Live (or something: I can’t quite remember) and Larry had clearly cut a very tough deal. So I started talking about that, and he shouted something about “Larry” then started dancing, turned round and ground his ass into my genital area. I was stunned. He thought it was hilarious.

I never washed again, obviously.

Seriously, though, I really liked J. Not in a gay way, for the record. It was a sad day when he moved out of games.

That’s one to tell the grandkids

You worked at Eurogamer Pat? what were some of the notable games you reviwed?

Innit. “Well done, grandpop.”

@15 – God. I dunno. I didn’t review many. I was terrible at it. I was the business development manager for a few years, then I was the publisher, so I didn’t do much writing. It was all management, really.

Here’s everything I did: http://www.eurogamer.net/archive.php?author=96

Tattered, bloodied, putrid. Your house sucks you in as if by osmosis, leaving you weeping on the hall floor in a creeping puddle of gore and mud. Your wife, flesh flour, stares at you, arms folded, veins vaulting from her neck on invisible stalks. Your explanation of the reason you’ve been missing for four days, why you reek of petrol, why Dave’s dead, why you’ve spent four thousand pounds on a man called Charlie and some ladies all going by the name of Jezebel, and why your interpretation of the phrase ‘stag do’ has to involve police chases and national news crews, is failing to wash. “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” you whimper, snot bubbling from your broken nose. “It really did.”

10/10

Good lord.

“I hate “driving” games.”

Pat -1

I kind of do. I get bored with them. That link really does open the door to my digital closet, doesn’t it?

For what it is worth I agree 100% with the driving game bit. I would rather play a flatout game over a Forza or GT one. And not because I like so called “Arcade ones” but because in so called “Sim” drivers you spend most of your time fighting a dificult physics engine and not actualy racing other cars.

My name isn’t J.P. Montoya, I don’t want to spend a lifetime of playing a sim to learn to drive like he does. I just want to race as him in his car. I shouldn’t have to hit the gym and workout in order to play Fifa or Madden. I shouldn’t have to take small arms training to play CoD/BFBC2. To me it is silly and unfun to have to spend hundreds of hours learning the pyshics engine/handling of a game in order to drive its cars.

-Rant over

@ Pat:

Hehe…

Nah, tbh, I can understand what you mean when I think about things like Forza’s endurance races.

Round the same track over and over again for about an hour… ZZZzzz… ZZZzzz…

I used to put radio 5-Live on while I was doing them like I do on long car journeys to try and lessen the boredom!