Wed, Feb 03, 2010 | 21:35 GMT
ESRB says Dead or Alive: Paradise contains “creepy voyeurism”
The ESRB has rated Dead or Alive: Paradise “M” for Mature – which is probably the most obvious news you’ve heard all day.
However, the description of the game’s “cheesy” scenarios, and “creepy voyeurism” are enough to warrant a post.
Here’s the full thing, courtesy of Siliconera, and it reads almost as if it’s describing a soft-core flick on Cinemax:
The author picked apart the game and questioned, somewhat seriously, if Dead or Alive Paradise accurately portrays what women want. Of course, it doesn’t. Dead or Alive Paradise has tasteless pool hopping mini-games. Anyway, here is Dead or Alive Paradise, as seen through the lens of the ESRB.
This is a video game in which users watch grown women dressed in G-string bikinis jiggle their breasts while on a two-week vacation. Women’s breasts and butts will sway while playing volleyball, while hopping across cushions, while pole dancing, while posing on the ground, by the pool, on the beach, in front of the camera. There are other activities: Users can gamble inside a casino to win credits for shopping; they can purchase bathing suits, sunglasses, hats, clothing at an island shop; they can “gift” these items to eight other women in hopes of winning their friendship, in hopes of playing more volleyball. And as relationships blossom from the gift-giving and volleyball, users may get closer to the women, having earned their trust and confidence: users will then be prompted to zoom-in on their friends’ nearly-naked bodies, snap dozens of photos, and view them in the hotel later that night.
Parents and consumers should know that the game contains a fair amount of “cheesy,” and at times, creepy voyeurism—especially when users have complete rotate-pan-zoom control; but the game also contains bizarre, misguided notions of what women really want (if given two weeks, paid vacation, island resort)—Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs.
Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs… apparently, the ESRB has never been to Cabo San Lucas – that or a woman wrote it.
Game’s out for PSP in April, and you can get shots here, and a trailer here.
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Dead or Alive: Paradise shots show more tits and ass
13 
Posted in: Koei, PSP, Sports, Tecmo
Tags: dead or alive paradise, Team Ninja
13 comments
#1
Freek
03/02/10, 9:39 pm
That’s great! Almost as if they know game blogs/news site read their discriptions so they add a little humor.
#2
Mr Tom
03/02/10, 9:40 pm
It’s true. I feel very creepy as I masturbate to that game.
#3
RGW1982
03/02/10, 9:50 pm
It Will Be Playable On The PS3 Too. XD
#4
Psychotext
03/02/10, 9:53 pm
lol… ESRB for the win.
#5
Gekidami
03/02/10, 9:56 pm
“And as relationships blossom from the gift-giving and volleyball, users may get closer to the women, having earned their trust and confidence: users will then be prompted to zoom-in on their friends’ nearly-naked bodies, snap dozens of photos, and view them in the hotel later that night.”
Just your average relationship then.
#6
Psychotext
03/02/10, 9:57 pm
/dons MW2 goggles
#7
onlineatron
03/02/10, 9:59 pm
Arrrgh!… It’s those massive Palm trees again!
#8
Neolucifer
03/02/10, 10:38 pm
There is a kind of voyeurism that isnt creepy ?
#9
Retroid
03/02/10, 11:06 pm
It’s difficult to play the game with your PSP in a brown paper bag.
BTW, RGW1982: you know it’s only (some) PSP Minis which can be played on PS3 currently, right? Although I hope that’s extended to all PSP releases on PSN.
#10
RGW1982
04/02/10, 2:04 am
In The US Only Some PSP MiNiS Work But It Will Be Expanded To All MiNiS (Some Day), Currently In The UK All The PSP MiNiS Work Except Tetris Which Never Will Work On The PS3, But All Future Releases Of PSP MiNiS On The Both US & UK PSN’s Will All Be Compatible With The PS3.
#11
OrphanageExplosion
04/02/10, 5:21 am
“Creepy voyeurism”… the very words I live by.
#12
Psychotext
04/02/10, 1:23 pm
I was just reading that the ESRB removed the creepy reference. Wimps.
What’s with all the talk about PSP minis in here btw? This game is a full on retail release, not a mini.
#13
zombieskin
04/02/10, 7:55 pm
the ESRB’s description gave me a rager.