Win a signed copy of Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise!

… they can never tell you they have a headache.

You’re in the lead

This one has potential. lol

…because it’s fun

…because they are soft, fluffy and squeal when I squeeze them.

…because I have to if I want to win a signed copy of Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise!

… because they do like my cooking.

… because they never argue about what game to play.

… because they are like a live Spore Creature Editor.

I enjoy playing with animals, because there burp flavors are extra spicy!

…I’m not allowed to kill them any more.

…I enjoy eating the gooey red sweets that come out of them when you bash their heads in with a spade.

… my mum says I’m too old to play with her.

… it means I don’t have to play with myself.

… no means no, so I had no other choice.

… the voices say its ok.

… I’m a quarter Welsh.

…because I was raised by wolves.

… they’re more intelligent than your average Xbox Live member.

…because Kermit wouldn’t let me play with his.

…I’m a filthy pervert.

Bit too subtle there Stickboy, could you make it a but more obvious as to what you mean?

Don’t fucking edit! What’s wrong with you, man? Made me laugh.

…because I enjoy having unprotected anal sex with living things that can’t talk back.

There.

Did Pat just admit to having sexual fantasies about Stephen Hawking?

*runs to toilet*

…it’ll probably be more fun than Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise.

/applies reverse psychology to entry

…it can help them get over the trauma of repeated rapes by filthy humans.

They usually consent, though! Only horses ever say neigh.

I’ll get me coat.

How a-moo-sing.

…the amateur porn they show on BBC2 is too tame.

…I’ve run out of humans to ‘play’ with.

…it helps me recover from the trauma of repeated rapes by filthy humans.

… there’s a remote chance I might get touched up by David Attenborough.

….because i might like the game.

….i can show it to my friends

….i can stick it anywhere

I enjoy playing with animals, because they don’t insist on reminding me of my morbid obesity.

I enjoy playing with animals, because I am the immaculately conceived child of Ingrid Newkirk.

…they are really competitive in gaming. You should see them play CS, Quake, Doom etc…might beat fatal1ty? Hell yes!

because at least animals are able to reproduce slowly enough to cope with babysitting each others offspring….I’m looking at you Kerry Katona!

… even furries have standards.

even the ones that have opposable thumbs are too busy licking their arses and therefore couldn’t even pose a challenge in a multiplayer match of Halo 3 let alone face the trial of having to pick up my 360 controller….except for maybe that Cow I lost against….mainly because I mistook his udder for one of those gamer recliner chairs….at least I hope it was his udder,anyway. I can never tell.

I enjoy playing with animals, because…

…they can’t talk in ways that hurt me.

I’d better think of another one, requiring an apostrophe be added to the original sentence is probably against the rules.

they’re more aerodynamic but not as much as to lend my support to these, admittedly cute new gypsy powered mountable ATAT’s/rat hybrids emperor Boris Johnson hopes to roll out across London to ease congestion instead of bendy buses:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1czBcnX1Ww

The best thing is that it comes with a wireless controller so now anyone can take control of one of these babies, just tap the necessary buttons in the QTE sequence that follows and watch the ensuing terrified grimace of the on duty parking warden as he tries to escape your ATAT as it hurtles through Clapham Junction after him because of a ticket he dared to slap you with. Double yella’ line my arse!!!

…because, when they are infected by the T-virus they might leave me alone.

…because, Reggie Fils-Aime says that that’s what hardcore gamers do. (source: http://www.nintendoeverything.com/?p=3364)

… they’re not just for girls

…I like to be friends with someone before I start a relationship.

thankfully Russell Brand still hasn’t evolved through natural selection enough to come under the “animal” catagory (not even in the humour stakes!).

at least they’re suitably potty trained.

at least your pissed off pouch will still fetch the paper for you unlike a sore gamer who’ll just do the animal equivalent of shitting on the paper by booting you out of a game and removing you from their friends list.

animals don’t force their dodgy digital distribution system’s form of currency on you. If they did though you can imagine what in the way of conversations they would have, “That’ll be the princely sum of 1,000,000 to pay in MS points there sir for having your way with my bitch of a wife”.

animals don’t have dodgy electoral processes they get an erection and do things by piecemeal negotiation with the dissatisfied party after

I’d know who would win hands down in a contest to find out who has the biggest pair of gums between an adult male great white shark and mouthy english television personality Janet Street Porter…..In any case theres only one way to find. out…..FIGHT!

… it’s fun to have sex with them

Where’s the vg247 review? Surely it should be part of this article?

Added, you giant need

…they remind me of a younger me.

… they’re less work than morriss.

… they never need new batteries.

I’m a big need, me.

… it gives new meaning to the phrase ‘dinner date’.

…they are a major group of multicellular, eukaryotic organisms of the kingdom Animalia or Metazoa and so am I.

..because half the Beatles are dead?

Very poor.

….because all the other Pink Floyd albums are shit.