Win a Bourne Conspiracy t-shirt, impress “ladies”

Friday, 16th May 2008 14:24 GMT By Patrick Garratt


It’s Friday and we’re shit-bored because the internet’s died, but we have to give you content or you stop reading the website. To that end, Sierra very kindly sent through a Bourne Conspiracy t-shirt this morning, and, being so very fucking nice, we thought we’d let you try to win it. It’s “medium” and “blue”. It says on the front of it that the game will allow you to “become the perfect weapon”. Sounds awesome. Answer the following question in the comments thread to this story. Best one wins it.

Q: Why do you want to become the perfect weapon/tool/instrument?

Pictures after the link. We’ll post it anywhere. We’re not proud.



  1. patlike


    #1 7 years ago
  2. Psychotext

    I’m already the perfect instrument. It’s why I don’t need a t-shirt to impress the ladies.

    #2 7 years ago
  3. Blerk

    Because I already have a slot for batteries that’s totally going to waste.

    #3 7 years ago
  4. patlike

    You’re in the lead. It’s practically yours.

    #4 7 years ago
  5. patlike

    Neck and neck!

    #5 7 years ago
  6. Psychotext

    I’m not sure I can compete with Blerk’s battery slot.

    #6 7 years ago
  7. patlike


    #7 7 years ago
  8. deanimate

    too late. i stopped reading this site over an hour ago and am now about to burn my house down.
    looks like i win.

    #8 7 years ago
  9. patlike

    I’m going to Holland tomorrow. I’ll pick someone from my hotel. You’re only in with a chance if you show pictures and video of your house burning down.

    #9 7 years ago
  10. Psychotext

    Pat: Holland offers those sorts of services in hotels now? Awesome. \o/

    #10 7 years ago
  11. patlike

    PT: Yeah, you wouldn’t believe the wold nights I have writing videogames news on the internet from my room. I have to keep it from the wife, obviously.

    #11 7 years ago
  12. Blerk

    I think I need to increase my browser’s default font size. I thought he said he was going to “bum my house down”. :-D

    #12 7 years ago
  13. Whizzo

    A game based t-shirt in medium? Whoever works in the PR department at Sierra needs to do more research into potential customers!

    #13 7 years ago
  14. Psychotext

    Pat: :D

    Whizzo: I think that means I win by default as I’m likely the only person here who could fit into it! o/

    #14 7 years ago
  15. patlike

    Why do you think I’m giving it away?


    #15 7 years ago
  16. Blerk

    I weigh less than ten stones. Medium’s probably a bit big for me. :-D

    #16 7 years ago
  17. Psychotext

    The only two slim gamers and they’re both posting on VG247. Scary.

    You should probably make your advertisers aware of it.

    #17 7 years ago
  18. patlike

    I’m putting all this into a spreadsheet right now. Cadbury’s will be very pleased. They’re preaching to the non-chocolate-eating public.

    #18 7 years ago
  19. deanimate

    didn’t realise there’s a competition integrated into this post. should probably read them properly next time. though in my defense i am currently bumming someones house down.

    #19 7 years ago
  20. Blerk

    I love chocolate, me. It just doesn’t ‘affect me’ in a fat bastard kind of a way. :-D

    #20 7 years ago
  21. Harry

    I was considering giving our shirt away too, I am also too er…robust…for the Bourne shirt I’ve been sent.

    #21 7 years ago
  22. Psychotext

    Blerk: Goes straight to my hips. =(


    #22 7 years ago
  23. deanimate

    your child bearing hips?

    #23 7 years ago


    … because then I can do many things, such as win this competition and wear the t-shirt until I’m too big to fit in it, just like Ronnie Coleman

    #24 7 years ago
  25. that_happy_cat

    I need to become the perfect weapon so I can avenge the death of my father (the late Baron Part-Deadly) who’s martial art skills were 6 percent too average to defeat his arch nemesis (the evil Dr Sufficiently-Violent) who repeatedly scored in the 99th percentile on the villain SATs. Statistically speaking then, the only chance I have to defeat this evil doer, thus honouring my family and clearing the slurred name of my father who was wrongly accused of burning down the local orphanage, then chasing the burning orphans, putting out the flames and then individually burning them again, is to score 100%.

    Then after I do that I’ll probably take a year out, do some travelling… perhaps then go back do a masters you know?

    #25 7 years ago
  26. Psychotext


    #26 7 years ago
  27. patlike

    I got the demo disc with the t-shirt as well. I’ve just played it, so I’ll chuck it in as a bonus.

    #27 7 years ago
  28. Blerk

    Shouldn’t you sharpen the edges and chuck it at the neck of the winner?

    #28 7 years ago
  29. Psychotext

    Blerk: It’s seems like the more Bourne-esque thing to do.

    #29 7 years ago
  30. patlike

    It actually uses the word “weaponize” in the demo. So Bourne. So perfect. So weapon.

    #30 7 years ago
  31. El_MUERkO

    i would like to become the perfect weapon that i might hunt down and kill all the evil ninjas who persist in putting holes in my socks

    i would also like a free t-shirt, even if it is a bit naff

    #31 7 years ago
  32. Psychotext

    El_MUERkO: But what if the ninjas put holes in the t-shirt? What if it’s not the ninjas after all… but the squirrels. No-one ever suspects the squirrels.

    #32 7 years ago
  33. Suppafly


    I want to become the perfect instrument so that when I pass people on the street they turn around and say: “My my… there goes one fine looking instrument”.

    PS: and to be able to do push ups on two fingers just like Bruce Lee.

    #33 7 years ago
  34. Enkeixpress

    To be Totally Awesome. Nuff’ said. =)

    #34 7 years ago
  35. morriss

    Mine turned up today so you can shove your competition up your arse! :)

    #35 7 years ago
  36. Psychotext

    Yeah… but we all know you’re too fat to wear it as anything but an armband morriss… send it to me!

    #36 7 years ago

Comments are now closed on this article.